We've read (admittedly) more than our fair share of Mark Ronson gossip lately -- he was bitten by a dog (boo), and he broke up with his girlfriend (um, YAY!?), but worst of all: Pam Anderson wants to hit that?
Now you listen here, Pam. (You too, Winona Ryder. We know how you love the nerdish musician boys). We've steadfastly adored Mark for longer than the duration of your last two marriages combined. True, you may look better in an obscenely revealing red bathing suit, but if you so much as lay an acrylic-tipped finger on Marky Mark, we will call upon our resources (Jagged Edge, awesomeness, whoever wins America's Best Dance Crew and possibly Randy Jackson himself, but that hasn't been totally confirmed yet) and challenge you to an R&B dance off like the one in the Nivea video below.
Consider yourself warned.
PS: We hear Josiah Leming isn't too busy these days.