The Spears family does a lot of things well, like … um… getting pregnant. Marriage, however, is not one of the things they’re necessarily “good at.” But a 0-3 family history of marriage bust-ups isn’t going to stop our l’il Jamie Lynn Spears — apparently she’s engaged to soon-to-be baby-daddy Casey Aldridge. In lieu of onesies, just send Starbucks and Exxon gift cards. As that snooty maître d’ in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off said, “I weep for the future.”

+ Relevant videos:

+ Now-irrelevant inspiration: The Jonas Brothers just say no to nookie, as does this overzealous American Idol reject; also: