Let’s get a few things out of the way real quickly: if I said I was overly familiar with Aussie electro-funk artist Sam Sparro before last night’s episode of Dancing With the Stars, I’d be lying. Secondly, my mama didn’t raise no liar. Third thing: Yes, I realize I’m expressly uncool for watching DWTS or using abbreviations thereof. Addendum/ fourth thing: I don’t care, and I already came out of the closet with my love for Dancing With the Stars last week, so let’s move on, shall wes?

Sam Sparro’s “Black and Gold” video — off his self-titled album (yes, it’s been out in the States since June 2008 and abroad since Spring — again see previous paragraph) makes me want to rent the glassed-in penthouse of The Hotel on Rivington, climb into a hot tub overflowing with Veuve Cliquot and strands of real pearls with Sam Sparro, Gabe Saporta (Sam Sparro + Gabe = possibly separated a birth? Mmm… Gabe Saporta), Mark Ronson, and Robin Thicke… and watch Dancing With the Stars until one of us passes out from heat stroke.