Notorious B.I.G. Is Alive And Well And Hypnotizing The Twitterverse


For those of you who don’t remember life before Facebook and the Jonas Brothers, here’s a down-n-dirty hip-hop history lesson: there once was an this epic Brooklyn rapper named Notorious B.I.G. He’s considered by most rappers to be THE best rapper in like the history of ever, and he was even God’s favorite rapper.

Most of his songs, including “Juicy” and “Hypnotize,” have been sampled and re-sampled and alluded to billions of times over, and if you like hip-hop at all, we’re guessing you probably have one or two of ‘em on your iPod at this very min. Also, they’re making a biopic of Biggie’s life. It comes out January 2009, and Diddy is very verklempt.

Anyway, Biggie was tragically killed in that whole East Coast/ West Coast war that went down in the ’90s … only, strangely, nobody told this dude. (NSFW at all due to dirty wordies.)

So, fake Notorious B.I.G. has literally become my new obsession on Twitter.

Everyone on the Internaise keeps talking about Shaq (and, yes, “Shaq’s” tweets are damn good), however, for me it’s all about Big Poppa.

Here’s a little taste of what I mean:

+ “bout to kill this cheese danish and this butterhorn. Y’all can clown on my man, but puffy got nice pastry.

+ “im starvin, i’m in the mood. plain and simple, i need food. RIP prince markie dee, but on the real, Poppa HONGRY.”

+ “why the Source gotta use that picture? back of my neck look like a pack of hotdogs.

It’s like this fake Biggie dropped into 2008 like he was never gone. Like Sting and Diddy never even had to get together and miss on him. Fake Biggie references his wife Faith Evans, his friendship with Puffy (always says “Puffy,” never “Diddy”), and even old hip-hop faves like Redman and Keith Sweat.

Also, fake Biggie watches The Hills!

I guess Twitter Biggie’s kinda like Santa: you know he’s not for real, for real, but it’s still fun to believe.