If tabloid rumors are to be believed (and really, when AREN’T they?) then Katy Perry is suddenly single and, therefore, desperately in need of a new manz. And since we’re nothing if not helpful, we’ve rounded up a list of semi-eligible bachelors for Katy to choose from! Read on for pics, stats and analysis of KP’s post-Travis McCoy options.
Suitor #1: Chris Brown
Relationship Status: *Technically,* Chris is single (he and Rihanna are still sticking to their “just friends” story!) which makes him totally available.
Why It Works: Both love fashion H&M, singing and keeping their private lives private.
Future Collabo: An R&B/Pop smash called “I Kissed Rihanna’s Secret Boyfriend And I Liked It”
Overall Workability (1-10): 7.
Suitor #2: Marilyn Manson
Relationship Status: Single! Manson recently broke up with his latest pale-faced princess, disturbingly younger child star actress Evan Rachel Wood.
Why It Works: Manson’s totally into vamped-out chicks who remind him of his exes, Dita von Teese and Rose McGowan.
Future Collabo: A scary, eardrum-exploding love ballad entitled “Are You There, Satan? It’s Me, Marilyn!”
Overall Workability: 4.
Suitor(ette) #3: Lily Allen
Relationship Status: Dating/possibly engaged to creepy much-older man.
Why It Works: For now it’s all about feuding, fat jokes and Facebook threats. But behind the intense mutual dislike is real passion! Remember: there’s a thin line between love and hate. And with Katy and Lily, it was loathe at first sight.
Future Collabo: An uber-girly remake of Pat Benatar’s “Love Is A Battlefield.”
Overall Workability: 8
Suitor #4: Terrell Owens
Relationship Status: Single and unhinged.
Why It Works: Both are fiery, impulsive spark plugs who like football (jerseys) and hate being told what to do.
Future Collabo: Katy Perry, featuring T.O., “(I Don’t Give A Damn About My) Bad Reputation.”
Overall Workability: 6
Suitor #5: Lil Wayne
Relationship Status: Two kids, no ring! Ladies? Start yer engines!
Why It Works: Shared propensity for wearing crazy outfits and falling down onstage.
Future Collabo: Sappy part-rap, part-pop duet entitled “You’re One In A Milli.” Awwww.
Overall Workability: 3
+ Anyone we missed? Let us know which musically-inclined boys (or girls!) you think Katy Perry should consider!