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First of all, I totally want this Cobra Starship Snake Heart Tee. Whatever. It's cute and you know it.

Anyway, lately, I couldn't help but notice that some of your favey celebs have some pretty crazy merch for sale. Like, WAY beyond your traditional lunchboxes and posters and tee-shirts. Some of this stuff is strange, some is creepy, and some is just plain BONKERS-ASS INSANITY!!

Here are the five weirdest pieces of celebrity merch your dollars (or Euros) can buy.

5. Taylor Swift Performance Dolls: Ok, those teeny, tiny guitars are a little bit cute, and the harmless little hairbrushes won me over a smidge, but these dolls are just super scary. And how in this universe of universes do they look anything like Tay Tay?! If these things were under my bed at night, I'd be afraid to go to sleep.

4. Tokio Hotel Beauty Kit: Paging Lady Gaga! Gaga, you must buy this immeds. True, there's no actual makeup in the Tokio Hotel Beauty Kit, but you'lll lurv looking at yourself in the Tokio Hotel compact as you apply copious amounts of black eyeliner (this fatty Givenchy pencil is all "geschäft"), tease your hair into an oblivion, and/or try to achieve any of these Tokio Hotel looks on your own face.

3. Jonas Brothers Poned Ring: Little did I know that this pwned vs. poned situation would open up such a can of worms. Here's the thing, fellow JoBro fans! Technically, the correct term is PWN! Now we can argue all day and night about this as we've been doing on the Twitter, but whether you say PWNED or whether you say PONED, in either case, it's still marginally weird to get it engraved on your purity ring.

2. Eminem Hair Clips: As in, like, Eminem barrettes. Uhm... _____________ (This space intentionally left blank due to speechlessness.)

1. Hannah Montana Penis Candy: So, this isn't marketed as penis candy, and you won't find any mention of a penis on the packaging (right... because those are... "guitars"????), but please take a look at this Miley Cyrus Hannah Montana candy and tell us with a straight face that it doesn't look like a penis. See, you can't. Because IT DOES!

Tags Bill Kaulitz, Cobra Starship, Eminem, Jonas Brothers, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Tokio Hotel, Twitter

+ David Archulet-me congratulate you on your upcoming Hannah Montana appearance! Evidently Miley Cyrus was totally fun to work with and it was a hoot to be on set with everyone. Take that, haterz!  (Disney Society)

+ Better be sitting down for this one, kids. This. is. the. last. season. of. The. Hills. for. Lauren. Conrad.  AHH!!!! Who will provide me with all the awkward stares and knowing glances I have grown to love??? (TV Watch)

+ Resident narcotics hoover Lead singer Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies is no longer of Barenaked Ladies.  Not that we care, but seriously -- i will pry. shed a tearzorz everytime i sing "Chickity china the chinese chicken..." (E! Online)

+ A certain Miss P!nk is giving Britney a run for her money in the abs department. Take me to the "Funhouse" please!!! (The Sun)

+ What the ffffffffffffrenchtoast is Kanye West doing with THIS chick???? (The Evil Beet)

+ Do you think Plies could do a better tablescape than Sandra Lee?  My money's on Ft Myers. (Rap-Up)

Tags Barenaked Ladies, Britney Spears, David Archuleta, Hannah Montana, Kanye West, Lauren Conrad, Miley Cyrus, Pink, Plies, Steven Page, The Hills

As you can probably tell by looking at it, there's a lot to be learned from Saosin's (pronounced "say-o-sin") peculiar name. Adapted from Chinese, the first known appearance of the word is in an old proverb that cautions against becoming too attached to anything in this impermanent world. (Bummer, but probably for the best.) It translates literally as "little heart." And while little heart couldn't be any less accurate a description of the Newport Beach-based boys' pleading screamo assaults, they've faced more than their share of impermanence, undergoing three major lineup changes before they even put out their first full-length.

After losing original singer Anthony Green, drummer Pat McGrath and bassist Zach Kennedy, Saosin eventually settled into a more permanent roster of Cove Reber (vox), Beau Burchell (guitar, vox), Justin Shekoski (guitar, vox), Chris Sorenson (bass), and Alex Rodriguez (drums). That's a whole lotta vocals, right? I wasn't kidding when I said "assault." Lately, every Saosin song is a flag-waving, fist-pumping, eyes-clamped, teeth-bared battle cry. A rare quality that attracted the attention of Capitol Records and landed the band on tours with Avenged Sevenfold, Coheed And Cambria, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance and tons more. In fact, they're on the road right now with The Used. Here are some dates you can look at while Saosin emote us out with "You're Not Alone."

Tags Avenged Sevenfold, Circa Survive, Coheed And Cambria, linkin park, My-Chemical-Romance, Saosin, The Buzz On, The Used

(Credit: Brian Appio)

Before blistering the paint off of NYC's Highline Ballroom with Ludo, Sing It Loud and The Morning Light, This Providence dropped by MTV for a photo session and a quick interview. The Seattle boys with the Aussie accent (courtesy of frontman Dan Young) have been banging out noisy, emotional anthems since 2003, in one incarnation or another.

In 2006, Young and his high school buddy/guitarist Gavin Phillips picked up David Blaise on bass and got signed to Fueled By Ramen. In 2007, they added Andy Horst on drums, toured with Paramore and officially started having to fight off hordes of fans with sticks. Here's a little insight into why you need their Who Are You Now? record (out March 17) more than you need water or toilet paper.

Buzzworthy: Here's an easy one -- why are you called This Providence?
This Providence: Well, you know, the meaning. Divine intervention. We like the idea of that. Destiny. That kind of describes us as a band. We were called and destined to make music.

BW: Y'all are from Seattle. There's a lot of musical baggage there. What do you connect more with: grunge or emo?
TP: Well, a little bit of everything, really. We're fans of Death Cab, Sunny Day, Jeremy Enigk... We like Nirvana. Have you heard of them? Don't know when they're gonna go on tour again, though. We've just been waiting.

BW: Would you call yourselves an emo band?
TP: (Dan Young) Yeah, we're pretty emo. We have depth to our music, and that's one kind of depth we have.

(Andy Horst) I don't even know what emo is anymore.

(Dan Young) Emo is just crying because your heart's broken. That's what songs have always been about.

(Gavin Phillips) We won't be mad if someone calls us emo.

BW: Does "My Beautiful Rescue" have a backstory?
TP: It does have a backstory, but I don't wanna share it, really. It's just a song about falling in love with someone you don't deserve.

BW: You've done a lot of touring with Paramore. Any gnarly road stories?
TP: Paramore are awesome. There's a girl in that band. We've toured with them a lot.

BW: Any falling in love?
TP: Unfortunately, no. Well, with Josh (Farro) a little bit. He's a looker.

BW: I'm sure "That Girl's A Trick" is about falling in love, too, right?
TP: Ha, yeah. It's about falling for the wrong girl.

BW: So you are totally emo!
TP: Yeah, see!

Watch "My Beautiful Rescue" and check This Providence's tour schedule to see when they're coming to your venue of choice.

Tags Death Cab For Cutie, Jeremy Enigk, Ludo, Nirvana, Paramore, Sing It Loud, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Morning Light, This Providence

Kind of, actually, yes! Until Britney beat her to it, so All I Ever Wanted it is!

See what else Kelly Clarkson has to say about her upcoming album in this brand-new interview. And stay tuned for more Kelly Clarkson interviews! Also, if you haven't been busy being a naughty little Kelly fan, you can listen to the Kelly Clarkson album next Tuesday, March 3 on The Leak on MTV.com!

Tags Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson

+ This just in from left field: Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen's got a band?  What?! Who knew she could even sing?  (Teen Vogue)

+ The Hills resident hottie Audrina Patridge was robbed (and I don't just mean at the Oscars)!  She got burglarized for realz last night at her Hollywood Dell home. Hopefully they only got away with some scrunchies and a tube of Lip Venom. (E! Online)

+ Hilary Duff likes to sit in the stands (not up in VIP) and cheer on her New York Islander boyfriend Mike Comrie.  Hil girl -- pleeeease tell me that you wear a mouth guard (gotta protect the investments -- don't play!). (Us Magazine)

+ Our not-so-baby girl JoJo sings us a sweet bedtime lullaby from her forthcoming third studio album.  Don't you wish she and Joe Jonas were still hanging out??  How fun would THAT be?  Joe and JoJo Jonas.  i think I j-j-just pulled a muscle.  (PopDirt)

+ Tall glass of sweet tea Ciara popped over to our friends at 106th and Park to chat about, among other things, her upcoming single with Justin Timberlake.  Seriously -- they must be putting some Miracle-Gro in that sweet tea, y'all.  (Neon Limelight)

+ How do we feel about this snippet of PCD covering "Jai Ho," one of the songs from Oscar-winner "Slumdog Millionaire?"  I'm closing my eyes and picturing Britney's circus tent... and lots of midriff.  And sequins.  Ok it's kind of hot.  DO YOU HAVE YOUR TIX YET????? (People)

Tags Audrina Patridge, Ciara, Hilary Duff, Joe Jonas, JoJo, Justin Timberlake, mike comrie, taylor momsen

How long have we been waiting on Kid Sister to drop that debut LP?? Mmm... feels like just about forever and a day. A month and a half ago she told Pitchfork, "I work at a really comfortable pace. It'll be done in the next couple of months." She told us the same thing yesterday (and a year ago), but we're not mad at all. Dream Date will come, and it will own our lives, and it will have been worth the wait. I know because I heard the latest cut yesterday, and DAYUMN, Kid Sis. How much nasty does one album really need??

Let's step back a minute now. I stumbled on a private photo shoot for the Reebok Classic Remix collection, starring Ms. Melisa Young, aka Kid Sister, herself. When she wasn't on stage twerkin' those knees for the cameras, it was a mellow time consisting mostly of make-up application and casual celebrity gossip (Onlooker: "I don't trust celebrities with three names." Kid Sister: "Sarah Michelle Gellar... she looks weird."), with Kid Sister's eight-pound Shetland furball Betsy scampering between our feet.

Buzzworthy: Dream Date... What's taking so long?
Kid Sister: Right now we're adding some songs and taking some other songs off. There were just a couple things on it that irked me. That I didn't feel all that comfortable with. So I was just like lemme take this back a minute because if i can't sleep at night... you know. You only get one first album. So we got some new songs and some new producers. Swedish House Mafia, A-Trak, Flosstradamus. And they are so nasty with it! You ain't ready, America, YOU AIN'T REH-DAY!

BW: Is there any end to that self-editing process?
KS: You know Matthew Santos? He's doing an album right now. Matt's very much like, 'Let's change this, let's change that.' Your perception [of what's good] changes everyday and, in a way, I guess you could never be done. But I'm ready to be done (laughs).

BW: How long have you been working on Dream Date now?
KS: It's been about a year. But before a year ago I wasn't even really sure that I was a real artist. I didn't think of what I was doing as an album. It was just silly drunken dirty party stuff. I worked three jobs. How do you call yourself a musician when you work at Bath & Body Works? It's just something you do at a party to have fun. But getting signed felt like it legitimized... well, let's just say that they PAIIIIID me, baby!

BW: What was the first thing you bought?
KS: A van! It's a baby mama van, and it's real old, but I like it a lot.

BW: You ever go back into Bath & Body Works?
KS: Yeah I go back in there like (singing) "I used to work here, nah nah nah nah nah nah." Naw. Really I'm like, "can I get a discount?" I'm a cheap-ass.

+ Check out exclusive photos of Kid Sister's Reebok Classic Remix (@Foot Locker March 10) shoot below.

photos by Daniel Arnold

Tags A-Trak, Flosstradamus, Kid Sister, Matthew Santos, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Swedish House Mafia

You can't really hate on Barbara Walters (okay, so you basically can, because it's hilarious), but lady's done paid her dues. She's sat down with Fidel Castro, gone face-to-face with Muammar Qaddafi, asked Katharine Hepburn what type of tree she'd be, and got a lap dance from Hugh Jackman, and truly, I'd probably rather be straddled by Castro.

So interviewing the Jonas Brothers would pretty much seem like cake next to chatting up deranged dictators, you know? But Jonases TOTALLY stonewalled Babs -- Nick and Joe especially -- and meanwhile, Kevin looked like he may or may not have been counting ceiling tiles.

But the best part of the whole thing happened last night, when Joe told Jimmy Kimmel that the Barbara Walters interview felt like it lasted three hours. The next best part -- their impression of Joaquin Phoenix -- seriously, you KNOW it's bad when the Jonas Brothers, who are the nicest dudes ever, are making fun of you! Time to give up the Mountain Man schtick already, bro.

Anyway, Jonases on Kimmel = Total LOLs. Now, back to listening to Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience soundtrack! (My favorite tracks is "Love Is On Its Way," followed by the Taylor Swift song "Should've Said No." What's yours?)

Tags Jimmy Kimmel, Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift

The Jonas Brothers Experience: You've seen the photos. You've read my squeeeeeeetastic live Tweets. You saw the MTV special yesterday.

Now watch it a million trillion more times in its official, non-pirated version! (Seriously, who wants to watch something taped off your dad's crappy TV anyway?)

Watch The Jonas Brothers Experience now, and tell us if you think the best BFFs won.

Read more...

Tags Jonas Brothers

I stopped into the Times Square Virgin Megastore this morning on my way to work to pick up the Incredibad album (yes, I actually still buy albums and still call them "albums" too), and aside from the fact that this location -- the one where the Jonas Brothers fought their way through massive midnight crowds to buy A Little Bit Longer this past August -- a scene you'll see AND LOVE in Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience -- is closing (thanks, INTERNET!) to make way for a MASSIVE Forever 21.

Anyway, EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE STORE IS PRICED TO MOVE, PEOPLE, as the garish orange signs will not allow you to forget for a second. But propped up against the wall in the very back of the store I found the saddest for-sale item -- this $29.00 Notorious B.I.G. doll, marked down an additional 20% off.

Seriously, buy the jokey penis books and "Guitar Hero" keychains and stuff, but not taking Biggie and leaving him here all by himself like this is like killing him all over again. Biggie, Mama's comin' for you! We're still missing you!

+ Vintage video: Diddy, Faith Evans, 112 & Sting remember Biggie at the 1997 VMAs with "Mo Money, Mo Problems / I'll Be Missing You (Live)." (This is one of all-time favorite VMA moments.)

Tags 112, Diddy, Faith Evans, Jonas Brothers, Notorious B.I.G., Sting, The Lonely Island