To anyone who thinks 16 is too young to be writing your life memoirs, Miley Cyrus says: EFF OFF!
WE KID!
Miley, of course, didn't say that at all. In fact, Miley totally gets that she has way more of her life to live, more hit songs to write, loads more boys to date, and maybe even another scandal or five.
That's why she called her new memoir Miles To Go. GET IT??? (She's got miles to go in her own life people. Sheesh, do we have to do e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g around here??).
Anyway.
Here are the top 5 things you really need to know about Miley's new autobiography, lest you MORTIFY yourself by revealing you DIDN'T know that...
5. Miley has tachycardia: Don't be embarrassed... we had to look it up too. It's a heart condition that causes her heart rate to speed up. But not to worry! Miley is totally fine and she said it won't kill her (phew!). Just try not to make any sudden movements around her... or loud noises.
4. Miley's relationship with her dad is NOT weird: We covered this one already, but it does bear repeating. Miley + Billy Ray have a totally normal relationship.
3. Miley has been bullied: In case you're wondering who in their right mind would get into a schoolyard brawl with Miley, the book is packed with references to mean girls. (Rudeness!) We're guessing those girls feel pretty stupid these days, if not completely less successful and lame.
2. Nick Jonas: Yes people. There IS some Jonas Brothers dirt in the book. Miley discusses her romance with Nick and even refers to him as "Prince Charming" and goes into more detail about "7 Things" and how she was gonna be all like "I'm not gonna write you a love song" but she's not a hater. Swoon!
1.Miley HAS been spanked:Get your minds out of the gutter! She means by her parents.
Needless to say, we're already looking forward to Miley's next book, Mile High Club? (Again... kidding!)