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GOD! Ciara's new "Love Sex Magic" video reminds me of like EVERY NIGHT in my bedroom. I mean, like EVERY single night it's like me and Justin Timberlake slapping skins, Justin all over the place, Justin sneakin' a peek inside mah shorts, I'm whispering naughty little things in his face, then me and some of my super-hot friends put on some wigs and do sexy-time ballet to a funky Janet Jackson-meets-Prince beat, against a backdrop of disco lights. Oh, and I TOTALLY have not one but TWO of those zebra body suits! Coincidence? IT'S LIKE CIARA SECRETLY RECORDED MY LIFE AND THEN SHE AND DIANE MARTEL TOTALLY PARLAYED IT INTO THE CONCEPT FOR HER VIDEO! I should sue. As soon as I'm done watching this again... and again...

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Does it mean I'm a real adult if the name "Rock The Deuce" has stopped making me giggle but continues to take my mind to the gutter, calmly and objectively? "Rock The Deuce," my inner monologue goes, "I guess that means 'Poop... Awesomely.' Okay." Am I a grown-up? Probably not. There's no way this tangent will make it past Tamar.

Something tells me that the humor in that title -- "Rock The Deuce" -- isn't lost on New Found Glory, who recently hosted the show. Among other things, the chronically self-deprecating smart-asses declare themselves superheroes, show off a customized Snuggie that Haley from Paramore sent them and go on about the hotness of her bandmate Josh (sound familiar?). How can a band so sarcastic not be thinking to themselves, "Hmmm... deuce...?"

But it's not all jokes. There comes a time in every episode of "Rock The Deuce" when a band gets down to business. In this edition, New Found Glory get serious about the literal physical pain of shooting their most recent video, "Listen To Your Friends." They also take a moment to show off their ringtones and list a few of their favorite new bands (e.g. Trapped Under Ice, Fireworks, Wolves In The Throne Room, Tombs and Matt & Kim).

Finally, New Found Glory get down to what "Rock The Deuce" is all about and play their favorite new videos. Among them: Rise Against, My Chemical Romance, Lil Wayne, Mastodon and -- don't judge -- New Found Glory! Stream the entire New Found Glory episode of "Rock The Deuce" below. And please, don't think too much about what it might mean.

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+ Much to her record label's chagrin, Island girl Amy Winehouse has sworn off her trademark sultry soul sound for her next album and has instead adopted a more doob-friendly Reggae flavor. As long as it doesn't have the meth-y fresh tingle, who cares? (The Sun)

+ The Lonely Island boys (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone) were recently named to Details' list of "mavericks." And no. Sarah Palin had nothing to do with it. Thank God. (Details)

+ Hollywood darling Anne Hathaway has been tapped to bring Judy Garland's life to the big screen.  (Pop Crunch)

+ Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan is busy crashing her brand-new Maserati into something stationary. (Radar Online)

+ Fergie's keeping her lady lumps and her baby bumps separate, at least until after her tour with the Black Eyed Peas. (Us Magazine)

+ Speaking of lady lumps and taking dumps, can anyone remember a time ever when Scarlett Johansson wasn't pushing those things in our face? Whatever happened to actually putting models on the cover of Vogue?? (Pretty Boring)

+ Have you seen this sneak peek of The Hills Season Five and all the gloriousness that is Audrina and Brody kind of macking it?? (Remote Control)

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Holy underwater Motown magic fireworks. The Dashing Suns. I'll be damned. This seductively sunny little intersection of every band the '60s and '70s ever loved is really making my morning with its scratchy guitars, ooh-ahh Caramello vocals and vintage head cold production value. Monkees, Modern Lovers and Troggs! Definitely sounds more like something you'd discover in your mom's leftover Creedence records than on the Internet.

The Dashing Suns are a four-piece out of Oakland, California, and they certainly deliver on all that West Coast promise laid out by The Beach Boys, The Mamas & Papas and so on and so forth. Jangly and irresistible, their fuzzy pop fantasies reek of post-prom oceanside campfires. A fact which, in combination with their recent run at SXSW, all but guarantees that they won't go unsigned much longer.

For more on The Dashing Suns at SXSW, keep an eye on Jansport -- the classic backpack company is using The Dashing Suns' "Future Thunder" to promote their insanely cool new Heritage Series. As part of the promotion, they followed the band on a road-trip/mini-tour from Oakland to Austin, filming concerts, car drama and everything in between. When that goes live, we'll be sure to share it with you here. I'm expecting plenty of solar flare and sepia tone. Definitely something to look forward to!

Listen to The Dashing Suns here. "I Wanna Run" is getting all the attention, but I'm a pretty big fan of "When I First Met Ya" and "Future Thunder." Highly recommended for fans of The Black Lips, The Strokes and summertime.

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Recently in the Twitterverse, Spectacular star Simon Curtis (@simoncurtis) showed Avan Jogia (BOTH Buzzworthy crushes!) how to use Twitter! @MTVBuzzworthy teaching Avan how to Twitter -- Simon is totally Web 2.0, and Avan is totally 2.NO! Avan, get ON THE TWITTER TRAIN! CHEW CHEW!

Ashlee Simpson (@ashwentz) is mesmerized by baby Bronx: i wish i could record every amazing thing bronx does, and watch it over, and over.

Meanwhile Pete Wentz (@ztnewetep) wants to fly to the Congo and see what's up for himself.

Oh, and the INTERNET thinks that Twitter caused Jennifer Aniston to dump John Mayer (@johncmayer). Picky, aren't we?

Furthermore, Dave Navarro (@davenavarro6767) is drinking coffee and is either bored or on a message bored: Having coffee, lurking on the bored, up WAY too early

... And if this is really Dave Grohl (@davidgrohl), then I wish he'd Twitter more.

Also, if you too send me this albeit hilarious (and painfully true) Current TV Twitter video today, you will be the 123848b'thousandth person to do so, mkay?

+ Follow Buzzworthy on Twitter: @MTVBuzzworthy
+ Buzzworthy's Ultimate Guide Twitter Celebrities!

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I just shot a piece with Keri Hilson, whose new album, In A Perfect World, is out today. She showed me the contents of her ridiculously overstuffed, impossibly heavy studded handbag. I'll have the video for you soon, but I'll share a few items with you now: Keri Hilson carries enough hotel room keys to open her own chain of Westins, an airplane-ready beauty bag, and she also pulled out a really cute hot-pink Baby-G watch that Angela and Vanessa Simmons gave her!

Buzzworthy shows you what's in Keri Hilson's bag -- video coming soon! Until then, check out this cute pic of Keri, and see what Lily Allen had her in her bag!

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In part one of Buzzworthy's Hollywood Undead interview, we learned why it'd be a really really terrible idea for a girl to join the group. (Unless she wanted to become the next Octomom.)

In part two of Buzzworthy's Hollywood Undead interview, open the gateways of learning, why doncha, and discovery who has the most tattoos, what Hollywood Undead does before each show, whether or not Charlie Scene will go to Del Taco with you and find out WHAT exactly happened to his previous Del Taco bag-mask thing. Plus, see whether or not Deuce accepts a heartwarming marriage proposal from a fan. Oh yeah, and find out if it's REALLY true that Hollywood Undead made a pact with the devil himself. Like little lambs, they are! Potty-mouthed, tatted-up fluffy little lambs in creepy, creepy masks.

+ Watch part 1 of Buzzworthy's Hollywood Undead interview here.

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Recently I was sent some super-duper posh and shmancy soaps by Venezuelan artist/ filmmaker David Foote. Foote, who directed A.R.E. Weapons' "Weakest Ones" video and also lives under the immense burden of having been named one of the 50 most stylish people in the WORLD (In the WORLD!) by Fashion Week Daily, recently collaborated with a handful of lifestyle brands to launch a pop-up shop where you can buy all sorts of luxury products, all of which benefit St. Jude Children's Hospital.

Anyway, as I said, I get the Jaboneria Marianella soaps (he and his mother own the small boutique company) in the mail, and they're an intoxicating all-natural combination of almond, coconut, sandalwood, and fig, the latter two give it an extra sexy zing. Seriously, the ish smells like sweet, sweet sexy time. I keep one at my desk at work. Not because I'm a pre-vert, but because they smell like some kind of naughty-and-nice heaven. Like Madonna's "Human Nature" video, but not as raunch. Anyway, they're $20 each (the soap, not the sexy time or Madonna's "Human Nature" video), and they're totally NOT your dad's soap. Unless your dad's really effing hot.

So I open the box, and after nearly having a SENSUAL SEDUCTION moment on account of the sexy-time smell, my TOKIO HOTEL RADAR starts blipping and bleeping off the charts, because I immedes notice the packaging they're wrapped in -- David Foote's "New Girls" black ink and white paint series (warning: don't click if you can't handle a few boobies) -- looks like it's covered in countless little Tim Burton-esque Bill Kaulitzes! (!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!)

Now, I doubt that David Foote was inspired by Bill Kaulitz or Tokio Hotel when he crafted his astoundingly intricate "New Girls" series or his soaps. But you can't help but notice the similarities: The ringed cat eyes, heavy brows, the intense jet-black hair, the razor-sharp cheekbones! IT'S SO BK! AND, the soap is striated into beautiful black-and-cream lines. (Think old-fashioned ribbon candy... old-fashioned ribbon candy INSPIRED BY Bill Kaulitz?) Also, I don't really recall Bill Kaulitz smelling like much of anything -- no nasty cologne, and I don't remember him smelling like candy or anything, but if I could attribute a scent to Bill, I'd have to say that the earthy-sexy, gender-bending (you reading this, Travis McCoy?) combination of sandalwood and fig do the job.

If you're busy living every moment until the new Tokio album finally comes out, you've got $20 to spare, and you're in the market to take a shower and make a charitable donation, check out David Foote's "sehr" Bill Kaulitz soap. Stay clean, Tokio fans!

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MTV News Segment Producer Christopher "CJ" Smith was one of a handful of MTV News staffers who headed down to Austin this past week for barbecue, beer, and bands, while we stayed back at MTV HQ in New York City with our cafeteria sandwiches, Coke Zero, and good old-fashioned CDs. Here's CJ's wrap-up of his favorite bands from SXSW.

You could probably stick a fork in me from all the sun (and delicious BBQ) I got down in Austin. So thankfully, South By Southwest is done and over. Let me run you through my top 5 sets from SXSW.

1. Metallica -- I really didn't expect the hard rockin' legends to blow me away like they did; but I couldn't help pointing out to my friends that even at their worst, they're still more talented, tighter, better songwriters than 95% of the bands that litter the indie landscape today. 'Nuff said.

2. Dirty Projectors -- I've been a fan since the release of the terrific "Rise Above" back in 2007; lucky for me, SXSW marked the premiere of material from their forthcoming effort, Bitte Orca (along with their newly expanded lineup), that quite simply, sounded monstrous. They're sort of in the same vein as Vampire Weekend, but with much much more musicality and depth (Ezra Koenig of VW actually even toured with the DPs at one point). The group received deafening applause from the packed house at the Press Here garden party, and I've seen reports that this was true of all the sets they played at SXSW (frontman Dave Longstreth even had to cover his ears at the Pitchfork/Windish party as the crowd was so uproarious). They're in for a heck of a ride this year -- well-deserved after what I witnessed -- and are not to be missed.

3. Little Boots -- Lady Gaga watch out, Victorai Hesketh (aka Little Boots) is coming. She's already been heavily written about in the English press getting called "the savior of pop music" by some excitable journalists and is most certainly going to take both sides of the Atlantic by storm this year; she's got a ton of talent, is classically trained, extremely passionate about making music and, if her set at Emo's is any indication, knows how to work a stage. She appeared over at the Perez Hilton party and took the stage with Kid Cudi to perform her cover of his track "Day 'N' Nite" alongside the rapper. She's just wrapping up her debut LP, so be sure to watch out with this one in '09.

4. Woods -- Tons of great acts played the Woodsist/Todd P. showcase at Mrs. Beas (Wavves, No Age, Crystal Stilts, Blank Dogs, Los Llamarada, Thee Oh Sees, just to name a few), but the one that struck the biggest chord with me was this Brooklyn group. Crafting tight and beautifully lighthearted ghostly folkish songs -- they are one of the finest bands playing in the unbelievably deep Brooklyn scene. I've seen them a bunch, and each time I get more excited about their sound. They're pretty hard to Google, so be sure check out their MySpace.

5. Tyvek -- Tyvek was featured last year in my piece looking at some of the modern purveyors of lo-fi. This year, Tyvek managed to surprise me with how good they sounded as a three-piece. Kevin Boyer can definitely hold his own on guitar in the stripped-down line-up. They had the crowd of weirdo (and weirdo lovers) rockin' out during their afternoon Beerland set, and you can look for their debut LP to finally drop sometime this year.

Enough of me, our whole MTV News team saw a slew of shows between us, and we put together a video explaining each of our faves from the fest; check that out here.

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As the old saying goes, out of the Bat Mitzvah, into the bowling alley. V Factory is back with the latest edition of their mostly shouted tour vlog, and you guessed it, they're bowling. From what I can make out over the shouting, Nicky and Nathaniel have ducked out of this video session because they're "old." Can anybody confirm that? And what does that mean, exactly? Over 20? Regardless, it looks like they're missing a good time. Or anyway it sounds like it. The volume of these dudes' voices says it all! Check in with V Factory and their glowing lanes below. Don't count on any spares!

+ Watch more V Factory Vlogs here!

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