Buzzworthy’s All-Time Favorite Top 10 (No, 13!) Horrible Album Covers

After a long week of smiley emoticons and exclamation points, it’s high time we talked about some stuff that just plain old sucks.

It’s not hard to make a good album cover. Pretty much all you need is an unassuming photo and an inoffensive font. If you’re an artist, all you have to do is draw a picture and put your name on it. That’s why it’s so hard to understand how these bands went so horribly wrong.

I won’t actually presume to call this the “Top 13 Worst Album Covers Ever” because, like most things, there are just too many bad ones out there to even bother rating. But I will confidently say that I have no idea what these bands were thinking when they sent their cover art to press. Feel free to add your own least favorites below. And tiny eyes, beware. There’s some slightly NSFW/ LIFE stuff in here too…

Kevin RowlandMy Beauty: Kevin Rowland, you of Dexys Midnight Runners/ “Come On Eileen” fame, I have never heard your music, and I think it’s safe to say that it’s because your album cover is offensive to women.

BonedUp At The Crack: Really, Boned? If that’s your real name.Can I ask you a question? WHY?

Jim PostI Love My Life: Jim Post, I don’t believe you. Look at your miserable face and creepster cop ‘stache.

Mike BonesA Fool For Everyone: Apparently Mike Bones is such a fool (for everyone) that it put him in the hospital. I suppose that’s his excuse. That, or apparently basing the idea for his album cover off Kevin Rowland’s. (See above.)

Brad PaisleyPlay: I guess you sorta gotta hand it to whoever taught that stupid guitar how to ride a swing. That’s actually amazing, Brad Paisley.

Vanilla IceVanilla Ice Is Back: The only way this album cover could be worse is if it was true.

+ MORE INCREDIBLY AWFUL ALBUM COVERS — SOME NSFW/ LIFE AFTER THE JUMP!

The Black CrowesAmorica: Oh wait. No. I actually love this one.

MeshuggahobZen: MOMMMMMMMMM?!?

No MachineA Terrible Thing: Thank you, No Machine, for making this one so incredibly easy.

The GameLAX: How can we possibly win the war on terror with this on the shelves of all our Best Buys? (Love you, Jayceon!)

CherTake Me Home: No.

Millie JacksonBack In The S__t!: Where were you when we needed you, Tipper Gore? I’m calling the police. This is worse than that time I walked in on my mom on the john.

Tokio HotelScream: What in the hell were these weirdos thinki– Ahhh! OWW! I’m KIDDING! HEY! I WAS JOKING! STOP! DON’T! YOU’RE! AHH LET GO! IT WAS A JOKE! PUT THAT DOWN! NOOO!