After a long week of smiley emoticons and exclamation points, it’s high time we talked about some stuff that just plain old sucks.
It’s not hard to make a good album cover. Pretty much all you need is an unassuming photo and an inoffensive font. If you’re an artist, all you have to do is draw a picture and put your name on it. That’s why it’s so hard to understand how these bands went so horribly wrong.
I won’t actually presume to call this the “Top 13 Worst Album Covers Ever” because, like most things, there are just too many bad ones out there to even bother rating. But I will confidently say that I have no idea what these bands were thinking when they sent their cover art to press. Feel free to add your own least favorites below. And tiny eyes, beware. There’s some slightly NSFW/ LIFE stuff in here too…
Kevin Rowland – My Beauty: Kevin Rowland, you of Dexys Midnight Runners/ “Come On Eileen” fame, I have never heard your music, and I think it’s safe to say that it’s because your album cover is offensive to women.
Boned – Up At The Crack: Really, Boned? If that’s your real name.Can I ask you a question? WHY?
Jim Post – I Love My Life: Jim Post, I don’t believe you. Look at your miserable face and creepster cop ‘stache.
Mike Bones – A Fool For Everyone: Apparently Mike Bones is such a fool (for everyone) that it put him in the hospital. I suppose that’s his excuse. That, or apparently basing the idea for his album cover off Kevin Rowland’s. (See above.)
+ MORE INCREDIBLY AWFUL ALBUM COVERS — SOME NSFW/ LIFE AFTER THE JUMP!
No Machine – A Terrible Thing: Thank you, No Machine, for making this one so incredibly easy.
Millie Jackson – Back In The S__t!: Where were you when we needed you, Tipper Gore? I’m calling the police. This is worse than that time I walked in on my mom on the john.