Say what you will about Kanye West‘s music. Obviously, it’s amazing. He’s on a level all his own. But it wasn’t beats and loops that made him an international superstar. It wasn’t anything that happened in the studio. It was his mouth. Sure College Dropout was a new level of hot, but it didn’t really HIT with full force until Kanye got up on TV with the whole world watching and said, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” It was a heroic moment.
All of a sudden, in one sentence, the little backpacker that could went from being one of those nobody wrestlers who use their real names to being The Ultimate Warrior. All of a sudden he was hip-hop’s Hulk Hogan. And, although he may not have reached that transcendent level of social significance since, Kanye West has come a long way as a source of immortal quotes. Whether he’s pumping himself up, cutting himself down or throwing his whole self into his mouth, foot first, Kanye’s always got all the best s— to say by far.
Kanye West, I mean you no disrespect. Don’t let South Park get you down. Don’t check that ego. No matter how much laughing comes back at you, you must know, that second to Barack, you are the great orator of our time. Yeezy, excluding your tweets, here are my top 10 favorite things you have ever said. Complete list after the jump!
10. “MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!”
This quote, which ‘capped’ off an anti-Twitter rant isn’t particularly profound, but it is useful foreshadowing for many fantastic capitalized things to come.
9. “I’m typing so f—ing hard I might break my f—ing Mac book Air!!!!!!!!”
Note the rare use of lower-case letters. This rager, also excerpted from Kanye’s blog, is directly followed by an all-caps tirade against the haters who tried to say Kanye didn’t give his all at Bonnaroo.
Also in this rant: “LET’S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!!”
8. “I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE.”
Aw man, take it back, Kanye. You kill me when you cut yourself down! Does Lebron apologize for outscoring the whole Knicks? No. He wins games. Does Vince Shlomi apologize for the volume of his voice? No, dude. Vince Shlomi sells Sham Wows. Being the Louis Vuitton Don is what you DO, baby. So go on and do it well!
Also in this downer: “I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS … THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!”
7. To a PETA VIP: “They need more fur in this show!”
Speaking of take it back … Kanye pissed a whole buncha people off with this one. The fashion show of an aggressive animal rights activist (Stella McCartney) is not exactly the place to start spouting off about your minks. Especially when Pink is there and tells the press! But Kanye, deep in my vegetarian heart, I know that you were only joking.
6. “I know I’ve been called the Louis Vuitton Don … I’ve been called a lot of names … Due to what happened, so severely, when the red shoes hit the runway, I was forced to change my name to Martin Louis Vuitton the King, Jr. Address me as such.”
Enough of the flubs and the self-deprecation. Let’s let the real Kanye speak. The visionary. The great thinker. The … great … fashion rights … leader? Hmmm. This quote was pulled from a video blog in which Kanye likened the success of his new line of Louis Vuitton shoes to Martin Luther King Jr.’s success as a civil rights leader. Bold.
5. “I WILL SPARK A GENERATION OF THINKERS WHO WILL QUESTION TRADITIONAL THOUGHT UNTIL THEY FIND THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH”
Another manic high from his Paris fashion week trip … Lead the way, Kanye Krishna.
4. “I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice … It’s one thing to say you want to do it, and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”
Man, if Kurt Cobain had known about this, things would’ve turned out a whole lot differently.
3. “Steppin’ outside of the game … If I was just a fan of music, I would think that I was the number one artist in the world.”
Whoa … he doesn’t even like music? So being a musician is the ultimate sacrifice? Let me be the first to say thank you Kanye.
2. “I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.”
Entertainment Weekly threw this cutesy little number at Kanye in January: “Do you ever allow yourself to just be dull and quiet? Just zone out with a good book?” Entertainment Weekly, let me ask you this: Have you ever touched the sky?
1. “I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”
Kanye 4 Prez. No. Strike that. AmeriKanye. Let it shine, Kanye … Let it shine.