If you've been following the MTV Buzzworthy Twitter for a while now, you know that I've become fixated on my obsessive hatred for all things Ed Hardy. And YES, I KNOW the Jonas Brothers and Tokio Hotel have indulged in Ed Hardy, but they're only human. (Tara Reid? Understandable. Madonna, however? No excuse.)
Presently, the world is divided into two camps: people who know better than to wear that tacky-ass crap -- which was created by Christian Audigier, the same guy responsible for the scourge of Von Dutch -- oh yeah, and the other camp is douchebags. I've said it before, and I'll say it again so there's NO confusion -- Ed Hardy stuff is so horrible to look at that it almost makes me wish I were born without eyes. How anyone could WILLINGLY dress themselves in Ed Hardy is so beyond me that I've been spending hours and hours of good time, time that I could be spending feeding the hungry or greening my apartment just trying to think of WHY ANYONE would subject themselves to this dreck. The only answer I've come up with is that there's no answer. Only darkness and sorrow. Speaking of sorrow, here are five of the saddest, most upsetting Ed Hardy products I've found.
1.) Ed Hardy Wine Glasses: Mmm. Nothing says "romantic night in" like Ed Hardy wine glasses! I'm pretty sure I'd rather drink out of a dirty old boot than touch one of these to my lips. Though they are dishwasher-safe...
2.) Ed Hardy Car Accessory Set: You certainly don't want your 1994 Pontiac Duster to look naked, do you? Plus, it might take more than just the prototypical Ed Hardy tee to reel in ladies of a certain ilk. Ladies with standards. The Ed Hardy car accessory set says you're SERIOUS about d-baggin' your look, from your tip to your whip.
3.) Ed Hardy Diaper Bag: Maybe you just shouldn't have a baby if you think utilizing a $289 Ed Hardy diaper bag is ok.
... More terrible Ed Hardy stuff after the jump...
4.) Ed Hardy Baby Onesie: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO A CHILD? HOW?
5.) Ed Hardy Shower Curtain: Many things concern me about the Ed Hardy shower curtain. For one, it's SOLD OUT. Now, the hopeful part of me wants to believe that's because it's so horrifying that it's been discontinued. The other, more realistic part of me fears that enough people out there have committed to Ed Hardy as decor, and it's sold out BECAUSE IT'S SOLD OUT! Fortunately I've never encountered the Ed Hardy shower curtain in real life, but if I came to your house, innocently asked to use your bathroom and then discovered THIS, I would do something really really rash. Like not flush the toilet. At the VERY least. You've been warned.
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