The Top 5 Dumbest Ke$ha Quotes

(Credit: Liza Chrust)

When I saw Ke$ha perform last weekend at The Bamboozle in East Rutherford, New Jersey, my heart was totally beating like a native drum. Her set was bonkers, and I’m still picking the glitter out of my teeth. (Gross but true.)

Unfortunately, Ke$ha’s boozy onstage banter left something to be desired. Come to think of it, my favorite pop “Backstabber” has never really had the firmest grip on the English language. But that’s part of why I love her! Just when you think she’s reached the end of a verbal diarrhea-inspired tirade, she unleashes another nugget of “WTF?”-induced wisdom that manages to both stupefy and amaze. Check out the following gems.

Without further adieu, here are the our top 5 dumbest Ke$ha quotes.

1.) “Like, I have a belief that if I wear my placenta in a necklace there’s a possibility of me … being psychic.” (Interview magazine via Idolator)

2.) “I like to scuba dive, and I’ve done it all over the world. I’ve doven … Doven?Diven? I’ve been diving with whales and sharks and into shipwrecks and into caves. I’m pretty much a pirate.” (MTV Buzzworthy)

3.) “If you come to a live show, it’s a sensory assault. You will leave covered in sweat, beer, glitter, and, just maybe, you’ll get a special edition Ke$ha condom. If it breaks, you have to name your daughter or son after me.” (Billboard)

4.) “If I smear glitter on my face, you don’t have a choice — you will be more attracted to me.” (EW)

5.) “I actually don’t read anything, because I feel like the haters really like to hate out loud, [and] that people who love sometimes love quietly. So I don’t really listen or look at anything. [But] in general, f— the cynics. Go be cynical … I’m having a good time. Like, who would you rather hang out with? That cynical dude or, like, me with my laser beams?” (MTV News)