(Credit: Ari Michelson)
As any Echelon member knows, today is FINALLY the day when 30 Seconds To Mars unveils the painfully long-awaited short film for the song "Hurricane" off of its This Is War album. And painful is the key word here, as the film is an exercise in pleasure versus pain. "Hurricane" is, as Jared Leto, the film's hero and one of its many tormentors, promised, "a surrealistic nightmare dream-fantasy." As the film's director Jared Leto (under the name Bartholomew Cubbins) told MTV News, "Hurricane" is "a meditation on the violence of sex, and the sex of violence."
And Jared Leto is clearly a man of his word as "Hurricane" is more than 13 minutes of graphic violence, sexual activity and sometimes both. "Hurricane" is so sexual it should come with a condom. I'm pretty sure it impregnated me as I watched it--so consider yourself warned, ladies!)
And speaking of sexual and graphic, some of "Hurricane"'s content was so steamy (G-string-clad ladies touching each other's... orifices) that Jared Leto himself blogged about the censored, NSFW content. But fear not. Despite "censored" slates, there's still PLENTY to see here, everyone! Plenty. And a shirtless Jared Leto is JUST the beginning of your trouble.
In the interest of not spoiling the entire thing, here are just a FEW of the many jarring visuals we picked up. Feel free to read it or skip below to watch "Hurricane."
A New York City which is NEVER that clean. Jared Leto in a bed, shirtless and restless. MORTIFYING GUY IN S&M mask! Jared pulls a Spider-Man! Tomo kisses a bunny lady and throws up something that's either a ribbon or a tendon. Jared gets into some real knky shiz. Shannon gets stabbed and then makes out with a chick who gives him the same ribbon Tomo barfed up. BEAST MOVE! A rabbi, a priest and a fire (is this a Gaga video), and something I pray isn't a bedbug. SERIOUS cleavage. More S&M stuff. I'm never going on a date with Jared Leto. American flags, coffins. OH NO! Jared! Twin naked ladies who are very flexible. Cue the evil bunnies. More SERIOUSLY naughty things happen that make me want to hide under a blanket and unsee them. My virginal eyes! A message on old-timey parchment. Apparently someone did get pregnant because there are a bunch of kids graffiting up New York. Return of the S&M people, kids exeunt, understandably. More sex, WOAH IS THAT TERRY RICHARDSON? A guy who looks like Christopher Walken, a cool Matrix fight, more banned stuff and then Jared just like SMASHES this dude's head.
And that's not even half of "Hurricane."
"Hurricane" is a freakishly fantastic, serious scintillating, highly detailed achievement by 30 Seconds To Mars. You could watch it 100 times and never catch everything that's happening, and you could debate the symbolism and meaning for hours. And you should. Just maybe not with your parents.