10 Things To Know Now: Madonna Gets Physical, Taylor Swift Backlash Begins

Hey guys, how was your Cyber Monday? While you were stocking up on awesome deals, my credit card remained sheathed as I frollicked ’round cyberspace compiling all the things I knew you couldn’t miss. Here’s what I found.

1.) A very pregnant Mariah Carey spent her Cyber Monday hocking some wares on HSN, including some rhinestone-encrusted stiletto stripper heels, perfect for the mother-to-be on your holiday shopping list. (Jezebel)

2.) To get kids to be all learned and stuff, a bunch of teachers have remade hit songs such as Lady Gaga‘s very academic “Bad Romance” into history lessons. Teachers, man. They really are the heroes of tomorrow. (YouTube)

3.) Because she doesn’t have enough money already, Madonna is opening a string of gyms worldwide. But it seems only already-sexy, beautiful people are allowed in. (New York Daily News)

4.) There is a faraway land called Tajikistan where the people worship unibrows. Yes, unibrows. Someone tell Amanda Peet we found a great spot for her new summer home. Oh snap. (Global Post)

5.) We love Taylor Swift, but this guy DOES NOT. Haters gonna hate. (Deadspin)

6.) Want to see something that will make you hungry? May I present you three squished-face cats contentedly eating a ginormous turkey leg. (Buzzfeed)

7.) Our girl Alexa Chung got a glowing profile in this week’s New York Times, because let’s face it, little miss knows how to wear the hell out of some clothes. We’re all about Alexa’s look book slide show. (NYTimes)

8.) Think Anne Hathaway and James Franco are weird picks for Oscar host? I posit Donald Duck is weirder. (nymag)

9.) Do you guys care about Prince William and Kate Middleton? Well, whatever. So the story goes, Will first spotted Kate as she tore up the runway at a student fashion show. Fast forward about 10 years, the couple is engaged, and the see-through lingerie Kate was modeling at the time is now worth $15,000. (PopEater)

10.) Speaking of engagements, here is an up-to-date list of every celebrity that’s engaged right now: Chad Ochocinco; Prince William and Kate Middleton; Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo; Jessica Simpson and whoever she’s with; Jason London (remember that guy?); Dancing With the StarsKarina Smirnoff; Niecy Nash; and me! Because I’m famous.