We HAVE To Say Something About This Gross Naked Photo Of Adam Levine

(Credit: Ben Riggot/Cosmopolitan magazine)

In the February issue of Cosmopolitan UK, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine takes it all off to help promote the Everyman Campaign, which raises awareness for prostate and testicular cancer. That’s great that you’re getting your humanitarian on, Adam, but we gotta say something about this photo.

Remember that one part in “Home Alone” when Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) is going through his brother Buzz’s bedroom after the family forgets to take him on vacation and he finds a picture of Buzz’s girlfriend and he’s like, “Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!” That’s exactly what I said when I saw this picture. Please, Adam Levine. You have a nice voice and all, but let’s leave the naked poses to actual good-looking men.

I mean, that flawlessly coiffed hair? Your piercing eyes and perfect jawline? The tattoos placed ever so strategically on that amazingly sculpted physique? Nice try, Adam Levine, but we’re just not feeling it. What do you do, like, 1,000 pull-ups a day? A million billion bicep curls? Pshhh. Junior league, bro. Slacker status.

OK, we’re completely 100 percent kidding. Adam Levine is a god among men, and we mere mortals feel lucky to even breathe the same air as him. If you let those perfect hands ever come near something as filthy as a cell phone, call us!