The rumor mill is going crazy with whisperings that Lady Gaga is engaged–though, technically, she didn’t get a ring put on it. Word on the street is the “Bad Romance” singer has plans to marry her on-again/off-again boyfriend, Luc Carl, who she started dating back in 2006 and who, uh, reportedly couldn’t afford a diamond. And I think I speak for everyone when I scream, “NOOOO!!!!”
Lady Gaga can’t get married! She’s like, not even human. Lady Gaga sleeps in a cryogenic chamber and is woken up every morning by gold-plated robot iguanas or something. Lady Gaga probably eats bone marrow and peyote for lunch (followed by a fresh sprig of mint). So can you even imagine Lady Gaga performing such pedestrian tasks as registering for fine china or sending out “Save The Date” cards? Ick! Commoners’ stuff.
But fine. Your decision, Gaga. And if it really is happening, we will gladly toast you and Luc. But what does this mean for the future? Will you change your name to Lady Carl? What will the vows say? Who will perform at the ceremony? TOO MANY QUESTIONS!
At least we know one thing–Lady Gaga’s wedding dress will be “the most amazing thing ever.”