You know what sucks? When two talented rappers — women, no less, in a field that is often difficult for ladies to begin with — get into a fight. In case you guys haven’t heard, the feud between Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Kim is ramping up. It’s sad to witness two huge forces in the world of hip-hop go at each other, especially since they’re doing it on Twitter.
It’s an all-out war between the powerhouses: Lil’ Kim accuses Nicki Minaj of copying her style, and Nicki vehemently disagrees. Nicki tweeted an ominous message about Kim (“Lil’ Kim U Next“), and Kim’s been spitting nasty stuff back at her ever since. It’s some “Real Housewives”-meets-hip-hop ish, and we wish it would just end already.
To make this truce happen, here are five ways we think Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj could quash this quarrel once and for all:
+ A thumb war — You know what they say: You learn everything you need to know in kindergarten. Let’s see what kind of digits Kim and Nicki are working with and make them have at it, 5-year-old style.
+ Twister — The game Twister tests physical stamina, flexibility and coordination: three things all great rappers must possess. Last one standing wins… but are we the only ones who see this turning into a fistfight?
+ Jump rope — Rapping, schmapping — we all remember that the girl on the playground who got the most respect was the dopest jump roper in town. Hop to it, ladies.
+ Pillow fight — We’re not really sure how you go about actually winning one, but if a Lil’ Kim/Nicki Minaj pillow fight were caught on tape, they could both probably retire off of the money it would make. Win-win.
+ A rap battle — Why don’t Kim and Nicki finally put their money where their mouths are and just battle it out already? Missy Elliott shall preside as judge (as Missy Elliott should judge every competition), and they can even live-tweet it (since they both love Twitter so much).
Whoever is eventually declared the winner of this feud, however it’s settled, should invite the other one to Starbucks where they can both discuss their feelings over Venti lattes. Then will.i.am will swoop in, produce a No. 1 duet for Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj, and all will be right with the world. Yay!