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If you follow Buzzworthy even semi-regularly (or don't willfully live in a cave-like prison of your own design), you know that Watch the Throne, the collaborative effort between Kanye West and Jay-Z, was released earlier this week to deafening -- and quite merited -- hype. But because we always have you in mind, dear reader, we got to thinking -- maybe you're one of the few that didn't stay up till 12:01 to download it (also, are you CRAZY?) but you still don't want to be left out of the cultural zeitgeist that is Watch The Throne. Please understand that failure to comprehend the nuances, samples, production credits, complexities and wordplay of Watch The Throne could result in depression and/or isolation (which is very Watch The Throne in and of itself), ostracism, your son becoming a Republican and even loss of Twitter followers. But it's OK! We're here to help!
In honor of tonight's premiere of Jay-Z and Kanye West's (aka "Throne") "Otis" video at 8:56 p.m. ET/PT on MTV and MTV.com, we created a track-by-track Watch the Throne cheat sheet below to get you up to speed. Study it. Memorize it. Preach it.
1. "No Church In The Wild" -- Odd Future's R&B crooner Frank Ocean joins the elite over a West and 88-Keys production. "What's a king to a god? What's a god to a nonbeliever?" sings Ocean, while the rappers get meditative and pensive on spirituality and religion.
2. "Lift Off" -- What's basically an extended intro sees Beyoncé singing "We gon' take it to the moon, take it to the stars" repeatedly as horn blasts and martial drums anchor the track. But anything with Jay-Z, Kanye and B on the same track is worthy of a couple dozen plays in a row.
3. "N***as In Paris" -- Punishing drums, ominous synths and a "Blades of Glory" reference (FTW!) make up the album's first club song, with Jay-Z rhyming in double time over G.O.O.D. Music producer Hit-Boy's jittery, uptempo beat.
4. "Otis" -- Revered soul singer Otis Redding provides the title and sample (1966's "Try a Little Tenderness") on the album's single. It's a minimal track focusing on the two rappers' penchant for extravagance and watches you can't afford.
+ Read more about Watch The Throne and watch a sneak peek of "Otis" after the jump.
5. "Gotta Have It" -- Kanye and Jay go back and forth every four bars as The Neptunes chop up a flute melody and James Brown vocal sample. The best example of each rapper pushing the other to new heights.
6. "New Day" -- One of Throne's standout tracks, a RZA beat provides the backdrop for West and Jay to rhyme to their unborn sons, with the former telling him not to follow the road he took and the latter apologizing for a future life of paparazzi and unique challenges.
7. "That's My B****" -- Former A Tribe Called Quest honcho and master producer Q-Tip teams up with West, flipping the hip-hop classic "Apache" into dance-rap. Justin Vernon, aka singer-songwriter Bon Iver, who last showed up on West's "Monster" and "Lost in the World," provides vocals.
8. "Welcome To The Jungle" -- Jay-Z calling himself the "black Axl Rose" is the closest you get to a Guns N' Roses reference. Still, the menacing Swizz Beatz-produced track showcases Jay's mastery of braggadocio.
9. "Who Gon Stop Me" -- The most experimental song for either rapper, "Who Gon Stop Me" finds the emcees rhyming over a dubstep sample of Flux Pavillion's "I Can't Stop." West's repeated barks of the title display a newfound confidence.
10. "Murder To Excellence" -- Swizz Beatz and S1 produce Throne's lushest track, which sees the rappers transitioning from verses on black-on-black crime to a celebration of black culture. This is the one West fans will call the "epic track."
11. "Made In America" - Frank Ocean appears again to sing praise to Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus on this reflective track. Kanye looks back on the past decade, while Jay focuses on lessons learned from a troubled upbringing.
12. "Why I Love You" - Kanye and Mike Dean flip French house group Cassius' "I Love You So" into this anthemic power ballad with an assist from UK pop singer Mr. Hudson. The '80s vibe coupled with Jay-Z's double-time rhymes make this one of the catchiest tracks.
+ Watch a sneak peek of Jay-Z and Kanye West's "Otis" video before it premieres tonight at 8:56 on MTV and MTV.com.