Rihanna Is Naked And Shiny On The Cover Of November’s Esquire Magazine (PHOTO)

Credit: Esquire magazine

Rihanna is buck-ass naked on the cover of November’s Esquire, and it seems rather fitting given that the magazine has named the “We Found Love” singer “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” Well, she’s not completely naked — she is sporting two pieces of wet lettuce. Or kale. Maybe it’s spinach. JK guys, I’m hungry — those are leaves. Rihanna is featured in the spread in various states one state of undress, with only earthly elements covering her bod: dirt, bark and other types of leaves. Regardless, did you read that title? Pretty sure the Sexiest Woman Alive is allowed to wear whatever the eff she wants at any given time, including things that grow out of the ground.

And isn’t that the the funny thing about men’s magazines? When a fashion magazine puts a pretty lady on the cover, they want her decked to the nines in the hautest of couture (see: Beyoncé‘s most recent Harper’s Bazaar covers). But men’s magazines are like, “How can we still sell this in the same aisle as Parenting and not get too many angry letters?” Boom, leaves. FCC approved.

Check out more photos and videos, and read an interview with Rihanna in Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” issue.