New Video: Rihanna, ‘We Found Love’

Credit: Photo Press Belfast/Splash News

Warning: DO NOT TRY ANY OF THE THINGS IN RIHANNA’S VIDEO AT HOME, EVER, EVERYONE!

So, Rihanna‘s new video for “We Found Love” documents a drug-fueled binge involving thievery, hitting, punching, crying, wearing red bandanna-inspired bikinis and not so subtly making out with Dudley O’Shaughnessy, who may or may not be her new boyfriend. It’s bleak stuff as evidenced by the crusty bathtub. (Any time you see a crusty bathtub in a movie or music video, it always portends a downfall — ask Britney, ask Pink. Mariah is the rare exception.)

In addition to offending Irish farmers, Rihanna’s new video is full of about a million reasons not to do drugs, and just as many reasons to get out of an abusive codependent, drug-dependent relationship. And it’s also full of pop culture references. Here are five of our favorites:

1.) “Black Swan”/”Requiem For A Dream”/ “Trainspotting”: All of these movies involve very bad drugs and — quelle surprise — really bad stuff happens after that, the least of which is a prison tat. Guess what! Turns out, Rihanna and her leading man took some highly illegal-looking substances. We’re quite relieved to see no one lost an arm, and there was no “dirty sheets” scene. (Spoiler.)

2.) Jay-Z and Kanye West: Reckless driving? That’s So “Otis.” And a little Steve McQueen in “The Hunter.” (Note: We mean Steve McQueen the guy, not the animated car.)

3.) American Apparel ads: Rihanna wears several leotards in the “We Found Love” video, and she did her best AA model impression by looking half sexy/half terrified.

4.) Steve McQueen in “The Hunter”/Kanye West’s and Jay-Z’s “Otis” video: Car donuts! Steve McQueen made them cool, and Yeezy and Jay-Z took it up a notch with their homemade Lambo in “Otis.” The “We Found Love” donuts are kind of a little scary, though.

5.) Joe Jonas‘ “See No More” video: Joe Jonas burned down his ex’s house in his “See No More” video, and lookie here, so did Rihanna. And both walked out there there without a scratch.

+ Watch Rihanna’s “We Found Love” video.