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Justin Bieber stopped by Power 106 to promote his new Christmas album Under The Mistletoe, but in between talking about songs like “Fa La La” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” Justin took a quick repose to basically BLOW OUR MINDS. Look, we’ve gushed over Justin’s rapping alter ego Shawty Mane before but like, OMFG this takes everything to a whole new level.
Requesting the instrumental track to Jay-Z and Kanye West‘s “Otis,” Justin hopped on the freestyle LIKE A BOSS. No, like YOUR BOSS’ BOSS: “Damn, damn JB/Where the hell you been?/Yeah I got a new necklace, diamonds/Two big face Rolies/No, I ain’t lying.” Despite the showy display of materialism, remember this is a Bieber rap, so we’ve gotta have some of that “Never Say Never” positivity thrown in for good measure: “Making mama so proud that she crying/Yeah, you say I’m crazy/Guess that makes two/But I never knew that dreams really came true/Started playing drums when I was only two.” Well, Justin, when I was 2, I was still drooling mashed sweet potatoes down the corner of my mouth, SO THERE.
At the risk of overstating this, we’re just gonna do it anyway: It must suck to be any 17-year-old dude NOT named Justin Bieber right now. He wins at everything.