The Queen of Pop is back, you guys! No, I'm not talking about Madonna or Gaga -- I'm talking about the real Queen of Pop. The artist whose immaculate vocals and innovative musicianship have always set her a cut above the competition. That's right: Paris Freaking Hilton.
The heiress-turned-reality-TV-pioneer-turned-recording artist is out with "Drunk Text," a new track she's cut with Colorado-based DJ duo Manufactured Superstars, and it's... Well, it's actually the best thing I've ever heard. A glacial house track provides the backdrop for Paris' spoken-word performance, which describes the Renaissance woman's antics during a wild night out at a nightclub. "I went out to the club the other night to, y'know... dance with my bitches," Paris explains, cleverly prepping us for a song about frivolous dipsomaniacal foolery.
Find out more about Manufactured Superstars' "Drunk Text" video, featuring Paris Hilton, after the jump.
Please, put your drink and/or phone down and stay with me. The song is actually a wildly brilliant juxtaposition of high and low art. (Maybe... I think.) "It was just a drunk text," Paris keeps insisting throughout the song, but then she drops lyrical gems like, "In my head, I was writing a fiction of us/Behind my eyes, I was begging for things my lips would never ask/My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent." Um, one time I heard something very similar to that at a suburban poetry slam and I burst into tears. F'reals.
In all seriousness, there's at least a 50 percent chance that this is an astonishingly self-aware post-Dadaist sonic masterpiece that satirizes identity politics and modes of expression in the digital era, and a 50 percent chance that it's just Paris being Paris and talking about what she actually did the other night. Either way, though, it's (for lack of a better word) hot.
Sadly, the "Drunk Text" video has pulled down from most *legit* sources, hopefully only because they're somehow going back to the editing bay to make it EVEN MORE PERFECT THAN IT ALREADY IS IF THAT'S SOMEHOW POSSIBLE. (Also, if you read between the lines, you MIGHT be able to find it in certain more mysterious corners of the internet.) Until then, you may be interested in electropop singer NNXT's own drunken tale called "Drunk Texting." It's ironic that NNXT's name (her real name is Jessica Gore) sounds like "next" considering her song came out a month ago, though Manufactured Superstars' original "Drunk Text" with Lea Luna came out late last year, so this is becoming a recursive loop of drunk texting insanity. Oh well. I guess drunk texting is the great equalizer.
Photo credit: Getty Images