Adam Levine Is Conflicted About Marriage. And We’re Here To Change That

Adam Levine might never get married. Not fair, ’cause we had other plans.

Maroon 5 crooner (Marooner?) and reason for our overstuffed DVR (seriously, “The Voice” is four hours a week, guys) Adam Levine just admitted that the endgame of all this crooning isn’t what we thought it’d be. In an interview with Paper magazine about marriage, he disclosed, “I want to figure out whether or not I want to do it… I’m not just going to leap into it, because that’s not good for anybody.”

Whether or not you want to do it?? That’s weird, Adam. That’s really ODD. Because we’ve already picked out the china pattern (Jonathan Adler Mod Dot), decor concept (Boca Bubby Chic meets Hollywood Regency, a nod to his California upbringing, to make him feel more AT HOME IN OUR HOME) and selected the glass he’ll stamp on at our nuptials. L’Chaim! See? This love has NOT taken its toll on you.

Oh and by the way, one of the household rules is no wearing shirts after 7 p.m. (Just you — we get cold sometimes.) It’s totally 2011 not to let your tatts, you know, BREATHE. It’s also the perfect way to showcase all your moves (like Jagger). We’ll meet you for topless cocktail hour (again, just you!) on the lanai we’ll have just like “The Golden Girls,” did, ‘K?  So in your best cursive, get started on Songs for Amber. Meet you under the chuppah. We’ll register at SEPHORA.

Photo credit: papermag.com