Chris Brown: Skillfully not avoiding Twitter trouble since 2009!
Maybe Chris Brown is the type of dude who comes to terms with things slowly. Very sllowwwwly. Like, maybe it took him a few months to figure out the f*** was going on after he saw “Inception.” (I get it — I still don’t really get “The Matrix.”) Maybe “Forever” really does mean forever in his case. In fact, Chris Brown admitted that “Twitter gets me in trouble” all the way back in 2009.
A Chris Brown Twitter feud erupted Thanksgiving weekend after a verbal joust with comedienne Jenny Johnson, which had the side benefit for introducing me to the concept of defecating “right on your retina.’ (Ill as hell, but also fascinating on the level of putting the p**** in a sarcophagus in the words of Kanye West.) Johnson ultimately had the final say in the matter, tweeting, “Okay. I’m done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to s*** and fart on me,” making her one of my new personal Twitter heroes.
But if you crank open the MTV vault, you can look inside and see that Chris Brown sat down with MTV News three years ago and admitted that Twitter’s gotten him into trouble, ostensibly referencing his December 2009 Twitter rant against major retailers that didn’t carry his album. (I was similarly chagrined when Target was out of my PUR faucet replacement filter! WTH!?)
Watch Chris Brown admit “Twitter gets me in trouble” after the jump.
Two things happened after both his 2009 Twitter rant and his recent sparring with Jenny Johnson: Team Breezy came to Chris Brown’s defense (and issued death threats to Jenny Johnson — not cool, guys!), and Chris Brown quit Twitter altogether, though probably not for good (it’s a process), leading me to believe that if Dr. Seuss were to somehow posthumously write a “Star Trek”-reference book about his relationship with the microblogging site, it’d be called Chris Brown And The Trouble With Twitter.
But until that happens (I’m putting my bets on Dec. 21 if the Mayan calendar is anything to go by!), let’s watch Chris Brown play Nostradamus and predict his future Twitter provocations while we wait for him to resurrect his account and begin the cycle anew!
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