You KNOW we had to GIF Ke$ha's new "Warrior" album.
It's been three long years since America's national trash-covered treasure dropped her supremely amazing, liquor-drenched party-pop collection, Animal. Since then, Ke$ha's stumbled out of Paris Hilton's closet, combed out all the glitter and vomit from her hair, and finally gotten serious.
LOLOL, J/K! She's still a hot mess.
Warrior is both musically and thematically more of the same as her 2009 debut (and her 2010 EP, Cannibal), featuring rowdy rager-ready anthems and swoon-filled love ditties backed by dependably solid (if not safe) production by the likes of Benny Blanco, Cirkut, and Dr. Luke. It's all about living it up ("Die Young") and partying all night long ("Crazy Kids"). And, like Gaga's Born This Way, K$'s in more of a motivational state of mind this time around, providing us with some self-empowerment anthems along the way ("Love Into The Light").
To help color up this review, we're going to review each song, track-by-track -- in GIFs, obviously! So grab your favorite bearded gentleman, put on your favorite tribal headdress, smear on the neon-colored war paint…and dance.
Check out our track-by-track review of Ke$ha's Warrior after the jump!
"We were born to break the doors down, fight until the end," K$ howls on top of the fuzzy synthesizers in the first few seconds of the album's opening/namesake. With a glitter-coated fist raised up toward the sky, the party-pop princess marches her animals into her new record with an anthem for rebels, freaks, and misfits alike. "Think it's time for a revolution!" she cries out. And so, it begins.
2.) "Die Young"
The song that kicked off the Warrior campaign fits right in among Ke$ha's krazy collection of carpe diem pop anthems. Now a certified radio smash, the sizzling ode to living in the moment and partying till the world ends plays like a mashup of Nicki's "Starships" and 1D's "Live While We're Young," plus some infectious hooks crafted by fun.'s lead singer, Nate Ruess. Drink, dance, repeat.
Sure to be a radio pleaser, "C'mon" is a dreamy moment of lovey-dovey, swooning, and power-pop production of Teenage Dream proportions. "We're laughing like kids, causin' trouble in the dark," Ke$ha croons on the sparkling anthem. And just in case you were worried that the dollar sign diva was tiptoeing too close to Katy Perry territory, fear not: "Feeling like a saber tooth ti-grr, sipping on a warm Budweiser." Yup, still a thoroughly K$ production.
4.) "Thinking of You"
And here comes the grunge: With jagged licks of electric guitar and an aggressive, punchy drum pulse, K$ conjures Animal's "Kiss & Tell" as she rails against her super skeevy ex who couldn't keep his hands to himself in the uptempo rocker. "Found out you're full of it, I'm over it, so suck my d***!" she roars. With a slightly reggae-tinged earworm of a chorus and that wicked, majorly '80s synthesized breakdown, breaking up has never felt so good. Do I smell an Adele duet in the works?
5.) "Crazy Kids"
From the very first second that innocent whistling comes creeping into the speakers, it's already over: "Crazy Kids" is easily one of the best cuts off of Warrior -- between the slick guitar-led pop production, the bratty rapped verses ("I'm fresher than that Gucci, the boys they want my coochie!"), the ruthlessly catchy chorus, and that unexpectedly delicious "Sleazy"-esque beat. Also, that gorgeously sung bridge? Solid. One whispered phrase serves as the entire record's theme: We are the crazy people.
6.) "Wherever You Are"
More swooning, more crooning: "Wherever you are, you are forever on my mind," Ke$ha declares, as the song suddenly breaks into some slamming house pulsations. It's nothing particularly memorable -- probably the album's weakest moment of all -- but it's still enough to tap a toe or two.
7.) "Dirty Love (featuring Iggy Pop)"
It's Iggy Pop!" yells Ke$ha -- and she's right! As promised many, many moons ago, K$ teamed up with Mr. Pop for a rowdy, rollicking explosion of chant-friendly rock fun on her latest outing. And how does the dumpster-pop princess profess her love for the rock legend? By getting unbelievably filthy! "All I need is to get in between your sheets!" K$ cries. "Cockroaches do it in garbage cans/ Rug merchants do it in Afghanistan," Pop yelps in return. Ew. Alright, someone grab the hose.
After seven straight songs full of bottle-poppin', fist-pumpin' reverie, "Wonderland" is a much-needed return trip to planet Earth -- or rather, Wonderland. "Back to Wonderland, where it all begin/ Everything was so simple then," K$ sings sweetly on the country-tinged power ballad, à la Gaga's "You & I." This is Ke$ha proving she's more than just a party-pop princess -- and even though she's got way better ballads in her back catalog ("The Harold Song," for instance), this is still a nice slowdown.
9.) "Only Wanna Dance With You"
Alright, time to kick it up a notch again: Colored by an irresistibly, nearly infuriatingly dance-y guitar riff, "Only Wanna Dance With You" sees our beloved Illuminaughty commander giving us all her luvin' on a hook-filled, crashing dance-rock romp: "You're all I wanna do/ I only wanna dance with you!" K$ cries out on one of the album's catchiest cuts.
You know when you're sitting there alone at night, minding your own business while leafing through your worn copy of A Mother's Gift, and all of a sudden, you're getting freaky with a ghost? Well, that's what "Supernatural" is about. No, really. "When you take my body to the stars, I believe it/ Boy this love is supernatural, can you feel it?" Ke$ha declares on the chorus of her soaring, chilly pop anthem. And as with every Luke production as of late, count on a dub-tastic breakdown to bring us right through to the end. It's another one of Warrior's highlight for sure. In fact, it's so good, it's spooky.
11.) "All That Matters (The Beautiful Life)"
Ke$ha already sang about her "Crazy Beautiful Life" on 2010's Cannibal, and lo and behold -- it's still beautiful! "Baby, all that matters is the beautiful life!" K$ declares on the storming club anthem, like a blistering 21st century update of Ace of Base's "Beautiful Life" (Max Martin produced both!). "Put your motherf***in' phones up," she declares on the bridge before a final, almighty chorus drop. If this one hits the clubs, prepare for total dance floor annihilation.
12.) "Love Into The Light"
Ke$ha knows that we're all unique little snowflakes, and she's here to tell you once again: We R Who We R. "I'm not a model, I'm not a saint/ I'm sorry but I am just not sorry because I swear and 'cause I drink," K$ declares on the sweeping, arena-size power ballad. That's right -- she's #Unapologetic, and she wants you to be too! "All of the s*** talk, yeah/ All the chatter/ Cuts like a knife, yeah/ Kills like a dagger," she later announces atop the gigantic, striding drum pulse. So go on, drop your weapons and start loving up on each other. Hug it out!
Photo credit: RCA