Haylor: Do us a solid, and DON’T sing these songs on your next karaoke date.
In case you’ve been totally removed from any and all pressing news over the past week, HAYLOR IS NOW A THING. As in, Taylor Swift and One Direction‘s Harry Styles dating. And what’s more, they’ve already gone karaokeing/ aka HARRYOKEING together. Legend has it, after Harry’s big gig at Madison Square Garden, the duo (along with the rest of 1D) hit up the Hudson Hotel for a hardcore karaoke sesh. What’s even more
vomit-inducing adorably cute, Harry and Taylor sang DUETS, namely the Bee Gees’ hit ”Islands in the Stream” and the “look at us we’re dating!!” classic, “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” Taylor and 1D also sang “Ice Ice Baby,” about which we have no comment.
Check out 13 songs Haylor definitely shouldn’t sing on their next karaoke date after the jump.
Now that Haylor doing karaoke is an official “thing,” you might expect us to save the happy couple from hours of flipping through the stained karaoke songbook by compiling a list of other couples duets they could perform. Kind of like, say, “A Whole New World”/the best duet of our time. But we’re jealous and feeling a little sad today, so instead here’s an ironic list of 13 songs Haylor should definitely SKIP the next time they have a karaoke date.
1.) “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift: Self-explanatory, don’t ya think? Also, a smidge tacky to sing one’s own No. 1 hit at a karaoke bar. It tends to make everyone else feel really bad about themselves.
2.) “Just In Love” by Joe Jonas: It’s never a cute moment when you sing a song written by your boy banded ex in front of your current beau who also happens to be in a boy band. Multiply that times 90,000 when the music video for said song consists mainly of shots of your ex-boyfriend taking a bath with a hot French model that is most definitely not you.
4.) “Cry Me A River” by Justin Timberlake: For obvious reasons, Justin’s famous breakup song dedicated to Britney Spears is probably better left alone. Especially when nobody present has a falsetto quite like Justin’s. Buuuuuurn.
5.) “Dear John” by Taylor Swift: Taylor’s song dedicated to John Mayer that she will never admit was dedicated to John Mayer should probably only be performed in the privacy of Taylor’s own home while she’s sticking pins in her custom-made John Mayer voodoo doll. Plus, it clearly states in the karaoke handbook that one should NEVER opt to sing a Debbie-downer ballad at a karaoke bar. No? Well, IT SHOULD.
6.) “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood: When Haylor inevitably breaks up due to “travel schedules,” it’s probably best that Taylor’s retaliation attempts are left a surprise. Harry probably doesn’t need to be reminded, via song no less, that Taylor is quite capable of digging her brokenhearted key into the side of his pretty little four-wheel drive.
7.) “My Favorite Mistake” by Sheryl Crow: We love this song so much, so we kind of wanna give it a free pass since it’s oddly sentimental and not that mean. We guess if you’re gonna write a breakup song, writing one like “My Favorite Mistake” is taking the classy route. But when has classy ever been fun?
9.) “Case Of The Ex” by Mya: Amazing song, and even more amazing to think of Taylor Swift accusing Harry Styles’s ex of turning tricks when “y’all broke up in ’96.” Especially since Harry was only 2 years old in ’96.
10.) “What’s Left Of Me” by Nick Lachey: Poor Nick! What a sweetie! Unfortch, we can see Harry Styles singing “What’s Left Of Me V. 2013″ when Haylor inevitably breaks up due to those aforementioned “scheduling conflicts.” Also, it’s probably a little scary for Harry to see “what’s left” of a washed-up boy bander! OK, that was a little rude — sorry.
12.) “Goodbye Earl” by The Dixie Chicks: Perhaps not the most sensitive move for Taylor to dedicate this song to Harry. Especially since it’s about some pretty blonde country artists murdering a bro named Earl. Rumor has it Earl was a total DB though, so he kinda had it coming. Watch yo back, Harry.
13.) “Half Of My Heart” by John Mayer + Taylor Swift: Again, it’s probably not polite to sing a duet you wrote with your ex with your current beau. Who is incidentally half your ex’s age.
In conclusion: Taylor’s got a lot of karaoke book landmines to avoid. We’d advise her to tread lightly on her next trip to the lounge, lest she break up with Harry for reasons OTHER than those darn “scheduling conflicts.”
Photo credit: INF