5 Ke$ha-Related Mysteries We Hope To Solve By Watching ‘Ke$ha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life’ MTV Documentary Series (VIDEO)

Ke$ha will appear in a six-part documentary on MTV.

We’re hoping to find out a LOT more about Ke$ha from her new MTV documentary.

As long as we’ve been Ke$ha fans, we’ve been addled with some seemingly unsolvable questions about the pop singer. For one, how does one just up and join the Illuminati like it’s NBD? And how does someone just join a furry club, for that matter? (One word: Craigslist.) And how does someone who likes trash that much still end up still looking SO good? Well, we’re fully prepared to have all of our questions answered (and probably have about 10 billion more crop up) after watching Ke$ha’s upcoming docu-series titled “Ke$ha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life,” which is slated to premiere this April on MTV (no exact dates yet, but we’ll keep you posted).

The “Tik Tok” singer talked about her documentary during her recent guest appearance on “Nikki & Sara Live,” saying, “It’s everything. It’s the highs, it’s the lows, it’s the wasted in Vegas, it’s the hung over the next day. It’s crying, tears — blood, sweat, tears.” ORLY? Now we’re super speculating. Not sure we can wait till APRIL to solve them, but here are the top Ke$ha Kwanderies we’re hoping to unearth from watching “My Crazy, Beautiful Life”:

1.) What it’s like to be Ke$ha’s brother: In our universe, Ke$ha isn’t really a human with a, you know, normal human family. She’s a space goddess sent down to us from planet Glitterati, who requires a special diet of beards to survive. OK, in actuality, Ke$ha DOES have a family — in fact, her brother, Lagan Sebert, is a real-life filmmaker, who, as the project’s executive producer, followed her around for two years documenting her personal, behind-the-scenes, IRL moments for “My Crazy, Beautiful Life.” But more important, how much do you hope that there will be some on-camera sibling wrestling matches? I mean, they ARE brother and sister, right?

2.) What it’s like to be in a relationship with Ke$ha: Right now, the most we know about Ke$ha’s love life is that she once claimed to have had… relations… with a ghost (later discussed in her song “Supernatural“). Like, someone not living. We’re already dying (lol, puns) to know where that whole thing came from, but what we’re even more curious about is Ke$ha’s search for the ultimate trash-mate — we know it can’t be easy when you’re that famous (and admittedly a little fetishy).

Check out more Ke$ha mysteries we want solved in her “My Crazy, Beautiful Life” MTV docu-series after the jump.

3.) What it’s like to PARTAAYYY for a living (and not die): If you know Ke$ha, you know girl likes to get FREAKY. As in, brush her teeth with Jack Daniels, eat beards for fun, act like an “animal” AND a “warrior,” and she’s probably amassed a major number of decorative/barely there going-out bodysuits at this point. We love you, Ke$ha, but you are a little nutso. And that’s exactly why we can’t wait to see you party your a$$ off in this doc — we’re gonna be taking notes on your “don’t fall asleep/pass out before midnight” strategy. Er, not that we would know anything about falling asleep before midnight…

4.) Where Ke$ha’s never-ending supply of glitter comes from: Like we mentioned earlier, Ke$ha has a serious THING for the sparkly stuff. This is no early ’00s body glitter throwback either — that’s child’s play compared with the layers of glitter Ke$ha has been known to slather on. Just look at this, this, this, and this. See what we mean? She doesn’t mess around (though we imagine that things do literally get messy after a while — thank God for personal assistants, right?). So, we are HOPING against hope that “My Crazy, Beautiful Life” includes some glitter tutorials, because we simply cannot watch another YouTube how-to video. Those never work.

5.) If Ke$ha’s really in the Illuminati: Ah, the Great Illuminati Question. This is perhaps the No. 1 thing we wanna know about Ke$ha’s crazy, beautiful life. Like, is she actually in the Illuminati? Why all the upside-down crosses, animal horns, pyramids, all-seeing eyes, sexy sacrifices and other devil-worshiping doings, huh?! Why give herself an eyeball Illuminati-looking mani? We are STILL trying to process her Illuminati-heavy “Die Young” video, so maybe if we’re lucky, Ke$ha will, er, ILLUMINATE us about the meaning behind her Satanic hobbies/decor.

+ Watch a preview of MTV’s upcoming docu-series, “Ke$ha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life.”

Photo credit: RCA Records