Happy 26th Birthday Ke$ha! We Got You 7 Crazy, Exotic Animals For Your Crazy, Exotic Life! (PHOTOS)

Happy 26th Birthday Ke$ha! Here are few exotic animals you could have as pets.

Happy birthday, Ke$ha! We got you some exotic animals as presents!

Ke$ha, it’s your 26th birthday!! And you really can’t imagine how good this makes us feel. That’s 26 years of Illuminati and furry imagery, sparkles, and trash?! Basically we want to douse you in glitter and Jack Daniels, grab some beards for dinner, then maybe take you out to “Live Like We’re Gonna Die Young.” We’ll wear bodysuits, get impromptu piercings/tattoos, and maybe pass out in a dumpster somewhere. (And then if we’re lucky, that party footage will make it on to your upcoming docuseries, “Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life.”) But before ANY of that can take place, we feel like you deserve a present — nay, SEVEN presents. We know how much you love wildlife, lady — don’t think we weren’t “awww”-ing all over the place at your Seventeen magazine cover and that time “Nikki & Saragave you a kitten. That’s why we’ve scoured the Earth (OK, the internet) to find you seven of the most amazing, rare, and exotic animals known to man. And now we’re GIVING THEM TO YOU! Enjoy!

786px-Phidippus_audax_male

Meet “Phidippus audax,” aka the Male Jumping Spider. It’s gross, it’s colorful, it’s surprising, and it doesn’t bite.

714px-Cheetah_cub_close-up_edit2

Gurl, we know how much you dig cats. So we got you a cheetah cub! It’ll run where you run!

750px-Neophema_chrysogaster_female_2_-_Melaleuca

Can you picture this orange-bellied parrot on your shoulder, Ke$ha? Because we can.

Check out more exotic animal presents for Ke$ha’s birthday after the jump.

800px-Bufo_periglenes2

This Bufo periglenes (Latin for exotic orange froggie) can live in your pocket (or your hair)!

471px-Colonial_anemone_zebra

Meet the Gorgonian wrapper: a cool glowing deep sea creature that doubles as a decent night light.

800px-Morpho_peleides_2

Duh.

789px-Spanish_shawl

We’re not entirely sure what this is. It might be a mollusk, but it might also be… perfect for you.

bearded_dragon

BONUS GIFT! It’s a bearded dragon!!

Photo credit: Splash News/Wiki Pics