Seriously, this Furby shirt is flawless, Azealia.
I can’t with this photo of Azealia Banks wearing a Furby tank top. I SAYS I CAN’T! It’s just, like, too perfect. The “Count Contessa” rapper’s perfectly formed punim. The lashes. The overwhelming ’90s nostalgia I’m getting from that decal of the classic must-have toy (you know we have a thing for Furbys, right?) — that LBR, was definitely responsible for at least a couple thousand desperate parents’ trampling-related injuries back in Christmas ’98. The only thing I take umbrage with is the Yankees cap, because #GoSox. FINE, FINE, IT’S GREAT. THE HAT IS GREAT.
Posting the photo to Instagram, Azealia captioned: “I’m out here.” Yep, you sure are, if by “here” you mean living inside of my birthday wish list from years and years ago. Oh no, the nostalgia tears, they’re coming… first-generation Tamagotchis, pre-recall choking hazard Nestlé
Wonder Magic Balls, and mini flecks of Floam are streaming out of my eyes. Do not help me, for I am at peace.
I do have one question for the “ATM Jam” rapper, however: How much for the shirt? C’mon, Azealia, you know I’ve gotta at least try to buy that tank off of you. So what’s your price? One? Two? OK, fine, three holofoil Charizard Pokémon Trading Cards, but that’s my final offer.
Photo credit: Azealia Banks’ Instagram