Rihanna’s ‘Pour It Up’ Video: Water Twerking, Bejeweled Nipples, Denim Thongs + Zero Effs Whatsoever

Watch Rihanna's new video for "Pour It Up."

Ohhhhh, so THAT’S how she balls out.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Rihanna‘s been stealth promoting her “Pour It Up” video HARD (“Aw yeah, yeah, yeah!”) for the past four days. After posting first one and then two groups of on-set photos to Instagram and then a behind-the-scenes clip on YouTube last night, She of the Zero Effs Given has finally released the long-awaited, Othan “Otheezy” Burnside-choreographed stripper limbo epic.

Watch Rihanna’s “Pour It Up” video after the jump.

Remember that scene in “Beetlejuice” where Alec Baldwin and Gina Davis’ characters enter a bizarro world between the living and the dead? Rihanna’s video is kinda like that — but for pole dancers and exotic dancers. Really, it’s such a visual feast for your after-hours-inclined eyes.

From Nicole “The Pole” Williams’ jaw-dropping, aerial pole work (serious question, IS SHE MADE OF MAGNETS?!) to the singer’s alternating blinged-out Marilyn Monroe and ’80s Cher lewks, “Pour It Up” is a strict “NO BASIC ZONE” if we’ve ever seen one — not that that’s ever stopped us before from trying to hang out with Rihanna before!

(P.S., Rihanna, if you’re reading this, I’m the guy who screamed your name from the back row of one of your Barclays Center “Diamonds” Tour performances in May. Do you remember me? Are we friends? Circle one:  Y  /  N  /  M  )

Above all, we’re loving the pure Rihanna visual flooding our eyes. Like Beyoncé in “Video Phone” before her, RiRi really seems like she’s nailed down her non-narrative aesthetic — i.e., if Rihanna were a iTunes visualizer, what would she look like? This, everybody, THIS is your answer! Now if you’ll excuse us, we have some dangerously high stripper poles to fall from. #PracticeMakesPerfect

+ Watch Rihanna’s “Pour It Up” video.

Photo credit: Def Jam