Who killed J.T.?!
In Justin Timberlake‘s new video for “TKO,” the noted bringer of sexy back awakens to find himself being dragged through the desert strapped to a beat-up old pickup truck. The driver (played by Riley Keough, aka Elvis Presley‘s granddaughter)? Through flashbacks, we learn that she is none other than JT’s ladyfriend/ partner rough, on-the-counter kitchen sex.
Ohhhhhhh, the Ryan Reichenfeld-directed clip for the 20/20 Experience — 2 of 2 track is a murder mystery — just like “Clue“! Mrs. Peacock in the conservatory with the wrench, oi say oi say! Colonel Mustard in the — uh oh… Oh god, we need to sit down. All this potential super sleuthing has got us a little too excited, basically paralyzed by our levels of nerding out, just like…
Deep breaths, aaaaaaaaand we’re back! Now, stand back and be amazed as we break down every inch of this crime scene like some kinda cray-cray detective Voltron constructed out of the assembled parts of Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Mary-Kate & Ashley, and Shelby Woo. *Raises magnifying glass to eye* CATCHPHRASE PENDING!
I. THE CRIME!
The murder of Justin Timberlake!
Other casualties of this senseless act include this poor, unsuspecting salad…
And JT’s hair. C’mon, Riley, boyfriend JUST got that ish chemically straightened!
Watch Justin Timberlake’s “TKO” video after the jump.
II. THE MURDER WEAPON!
Was it the rope… attached to this truck driving full-speed toward a cliff?
Or perhaps the glacier that formed said cliff in the first place thousands of years ago?! #LongCon
But, what if the cast-iron frying pan caused internal bleeding? #LessInterestingCon
III. THE SUSPECT!
DUH, it’s Riley Keough.
…OR IS IT?!?! What if she’s just a front for the real perpetrator: Mr. Body — er, Justin Bieber!
If the “Recovery” singer can get the original Justin heartthrob outta the way, then the world is his! IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
Wait, no it doesn’t. Riley Keough murdered Justin Timberlake, with pickup truck, in our worst nightmare.
+ Watch Justin Timberlake’s “TKO” video.
Photo credit: RCA, Getty Images / GIF: Strong Salmon