Kanye West And Kim Kardashian’s ‘Bound 2′ Video: A Guide To Bored Motorcycle Sex… In GIFs! (NSFW)

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

Kimye had jaded sex on a hog, and so can you!

After what’s felt like “Sandlot” levels of FOR-EV-ER, Kanye West returns to the music video game with the Nick Knight-directed “Bound 2.” In it, we see Yeezy get down to making sweet, sweet, kinda disaffected love to his fianceée , Kim Kardashian.

Additionally, we may have learned the true reason behind ‘Ye’s delay in releasing his second Yeezus single’s clip: bored motorcycle sex mastery. Yes, after watching the “BLKKK SKKKN HEAD” follow-up video, which transports Kimye from the heavily wooded forests of Canada’s Yukon Territory to the driest heats of the American Southwest, we have every reason to believe that he wasn’t turning his back on us, so much as he was turning inward to achieve perhaps his ultimate life goal.

Now, not to get all “Jackass” disclaimer on you, but you PROBABLY shouldn’t try this at home. (Or, in someone else’s home, unless you’ve gotten their expressed written consent, but that’s beside the point.) That said, if you ARE dead-set on having the bored-est, jaded-est, cross country-est, motorcycle-inest sex imaginable, then you should probably at least heed these handy dos and don’ts.

1.) Don’t make too much noise, or really emote at all.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

You don’t want your partner to think you’re some kinda motorcycle sex newb, do you?

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

Remember: You’re, like, totally over this.

Watch Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video, a.k.a., a how-to on bored motorcycle sex.

2.) Keep your eyes on the road! A pothole doesn’t care if you’re boning Kim Kardashian or Kim Jong-un…

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

… So always keep your eyes on the road.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

Watch Kanye West’s “Bound 2″ video after the jump.

3.) Similarly, HANDS ON THE HANDLEBARS.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

This only applies to the driver. Obviously.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

4.) Is your partner a spring? Then have your sexual moto-relations up north in the forests of Canada.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

Are they more of an summer? Then the American Southwest it is!

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

Oh, look! A coyote!

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

5.) Don’t forget to stretch first!

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

6.) Above all, remember to keep all your easy-riding confined to a stationary motorcycle in front of a greenscreen.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's "Bound 2" video is basically a motorcycle sex safety tips clip.

+ Watch Kanye West’s “Bound 2″ video.

Photo credit: Def Jam Recordings / GIFs: MTV