36 Things That Need to Happen In Music In 2014: Austin Mahone’s Debut Album, Christina & Adam Lambert Solo Albums, And Kimye’s Second Baby, South East

36 Things That Need To Happen In 2014

Whether they’re happening or not, we want ALL of these things in 2014.

Now that the holidays are over (goodbye to every Christmas cookie ever!), we can finally turn our attention to the new year! For 2014, we have preposterously long lists of alllll the things we want to accomplish, all the gym memberships we’re gonna get and never use, and all the cookies we are NOT gonna eat. (Just kidding — wherever the cookies go, there we’ll be.)

But we’re not so self-centered that we’re only thinking of what we want for ourselves this year — we’re also thinking about all the things we want for our favorite musicians!

Like new albums, We’re looking at YOU, Austin Mahone. And you, Robyn. And DEFINITELY you, Adele. And collaborations: Isn’t it high time Ariana Grande officially collaborated with Mariah Carey? And speaking of Ariana, shouldn’t Ariana marry her beau, Nathan Sykes, at Disneyland or something?? And speaking of getting married, shouldn’t lovebirds Jason Derulo and Jordin Sparks just tie the damn knot already?!

Well anyway, even though not all New Year’s resolutions are attainable (LOL at attempting no carbs again!), we can still have goals. For ourselves AND the celebs we stalk. (Because whether or not they’re personal goals has nothing to do with it.)

New Albums We Want To Hear In 2014

1.) A New Adam Lambert Album: When the clock strikes midnight on Jan. 1, 2014, it’ll have been approximately one and a half years since Adam Lambert last put out new music: 2012′s Trespassing. Sure, we love him on “Glee” and nearly passed out when he performed with rock legends Queen, but C’MON. Time for some new music, Adam! Your Glamily DEMANDS it.

2.) A New Adele Album: OK, so technically Adele has promised a new album when she “has something to sing about.” And even without a new album, 2013 was a great year for Adele — the new mom released her “James Bond” anthem, “Skyfall,” she earned a Grammy nod for “Skyfall” (Best Song Written for Visual Media), and she’s even reportedly in the planning stages for that elusive third album. Now all we need is to HEAR that third album, and we’ll stop bothering her. Promise.

3.) A New Against Me! Album: Now that frontwoman Laura Jane Grace has fully embraced her transgender status (and taken us on a “House Of Style” tour of her awesome closet), we’re living for Against Me!’s sixth studio album, Transgender Dysphoria Blues, set to drop on Jan. 21.

4.) A New André 3000 Solo Album: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, I say now ANDRE! (Yeahhhh.) WHEN ARE YOU GONNA PUT OUT A SOLO ALBUM? Just… JUST…. lend me some sugar. I AM YOUR NEIGHBOR AND I’M DESPERATE HERE!

5.) A New Austin Mahone Album: After releasing a string of uber-successful singles (“What About Love,” “Say You’re Just A Friend,” “Banga Banga“), the 17-year-old has YET to put out a debut full-length. But keep your cool, Mahomies. Austin recently told MTV News: “I would say [releasing a new album is] probably going to be sometime in the beginning of 2014 because I’m still working on it trying to get every little piece, every detail perfected.” See?? He’s a perfectionist! And you don’t mess with perfection!

6.) A New Christina Aguilera Album: Ledgentina’s legendary Lotus dropped in 2012. And Christina’s curently riding high on a successful collab with A Great Big World for “Say Something.” Plus, the 33-year-old looks lovelier than ever! Isn’t it time to top off all that success with, I don’t know, say, a brand-new album in 2014?? Survey says: YAAAS, CHRISTINA AGUILERA! YASSS! YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL!

7.) A New Gwen Stefani Solo Album: Ummmm, the last solo album the No Doubt frontwoman dropped was in 2006 (The Sweet Escape). JUST SAYIN’.

8.) A New Hilary Duff Album: Confirmed via tweet last November, this one’s actually HAPPENING!! YAYAYAYA.

 

9.) A New Evanescence Album: I know y’all still know the words to “Bring Me To Life.” Now it’s time to bring a new Evanescence album to life, amirite?? I’m right. Because they haven’t dropped a new disc since their 2011 self-titled, and we want MOAR Amy Lee.

10.) A New Tokio Hotel Album: Srsly, dudes. How long’s it been? Oh, no new album since 2009′s Humanoid? Yeah, nein. Es nützt nichts. 

11.) A New JoJo Album: Girl’s been trying to release her third studio album for seven years! And while we’ve gotten two mixtapes in the interim (2010′s Can’t Take That Away From Me and last year’s Agápe), JoJo’s reportedly working hard to make that new album happen sooner rather than later.

12.) A New Robyn Album: Last summer, the Swede-pop chanteuse revealed that “it’s probably going to be a while before you hear anything new from me.” But just this past month, however, she tweeted a pic from a studio session with Norwegian electronic duo Röyksopp, with the caption, “We are making music again.” So… WHEE!

13.) A Lil Bub Album: Sure, this perma-kitten already has “Lil BUB’s Big SHOW,” but… WE NEEDS MOAR CUTE. Preferably in the form of Lady Gaga covers.

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Fantasy Collaborations We Want In 2014:

14.) An Ariana Grande And Mariah Carey Christmas Album: Just think of all the multi-octave, whistle tone possibilities!!

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15.) A Full-Length Lady Gaga And R. Kelly Album:Do What U Want” is just the beginning. And because one can never do enough sex push-ups. #Exercise

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16.) A Full-Length Katy Perry And John Mayer Love Song Duet Album: Because “Who You Love” didn’t make us barf enough in 2013!

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17.) An *NSYNC And Backstreet Boys Collaboration Album: Put aside your pride and your early aughts warmongering, guys, and think of your FANS. I mean, New Kids On The Block toured with 98 Degrees this year, right? This could be like “The Package Tour” x100,000,000,000,000!

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18.) A Rihanna And Katy Perry BFF Tour: I mean, they’re already thigh-slapping besties. And what’s the best way to keep in touch with your bestie? By going on tour with them!

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19.) A Rihanna 777 Space Shuttle Mission: Gotta keep raising the bar, especially after Ri’s 2012 “777″ Tour.

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20.) A Destiny’s Child Reunion Tour: Welcome to ’90s pop paradise.

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21.) Justin Timberlake Touring WITH Justin Bieber: So what if Justin Bieber claims to be retiring from music? Give him the opportunity to tour with the great Justin Timberlake, and we think Biebs will change his tune, like, IMMEDIATELY. #DoubleYourJustin #DoubleYourFun

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22.) An *NSYNC Reunion Tour: C’monnnnn — the reunion fun shouldn’t stop at the 2013 VMAs! When will we ever tire of the “bye-bye-bye” arm dance? Oh right. NEVER.

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23.) A Full Lorde U.S. Tour: Girl had the No. 1 single in the country (“Royals” peaked atop the Billboard Hot 100 chart for nine weeks) and she STILL has yet to schedule an American tour. Let’s change that in 2014, yes?

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24.) A N.E.R.D. Reunion: Pharrell, quit assisting Daft Punk, Miley Cyrus, and Robin Thicke, and give us the N.E.R.D. reunion we so deserve.

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25.) An OutKast Reunion: Please let this be true? PLEASE??

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Love We Want To See In 2014:

26.) Kim and Kanye Have A Second Child And They Name It “South East.”:  Isn’t that clever?!

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27.) Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes get married at Disneyland: It’s just too adorable (and princessy) for words. *Starts singing “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes*

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28.) Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Get pregnant With The Most Goth-Canadian Baby Ever. They could call it Loki!

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29.) Say It With Me – Jason Derulo And Jordin Sparks Need To Get Married: STOP TORTURING US.

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30.) Justin and Selena Gomez Get Back Together For The 1,000th Time: KEEP torturing us!

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31.) Taylor Swift Finally Finds Lasting Love: She just has so much love to give, y’know?

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32.) Miley And Mike WiLL Made It Make It Official: I mean, just LOOK at the level of spoon in that photo. LOOK AT IT.

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MISC. Things We Want In 2014:

33.) Adam Lambert Gets A Permanent Spot On “Glee”: Actually, just give him his own show.

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34.) Lady Gaga Gets Her Very Own Muppet: Like, what if she covered her body in felt versions of HERSELF?

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35.) Austin Mahone And Justin Bieber’s Hair Develop An Epic Twitter Beef: Down. No, UP! No, DOWN! UP!! DOWN. Oh, eff this, let’s just go to the gym.

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36.) "Getting Jiggy Wit It Part 2": Because that song still bumps!

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Photo credit: RCA, UMG, Republic Records, Total Treble Music, Getty, GIFs: MTV, Giphy, College Candy, PerezHilton, singingitoutloud, gifsoup, crushable, hellobeautiful, Glee, quickmeme, psychekb, rebloggy, random-ness