Akon Has Two Tigers, And Apparently They Poop A Lot

Today in breaking celebrity news, Akon has two tigers, and apparently they like to poop a lot. You're welcome!

You’re gonna hear them tigers doing something, I tell you what…

You know how sometimes you’ll have neighbors who look the other way when their dog tromps over into your yard to take a massively uninvited dump on your lawn? Well, WALK IT OFF, because Akon has to deal with tiger sh**.

OK, so here’s a bit more context: When not crafting flawless senior year of high school breakup jams like “Don’t Matter,” Akon is often accosted by paparazzi. During one such encounter with some rando gadfly from TMZ, he revealed that he’s got two pet tigers named Simba and Tony.

Don’t “Awwww!” just yet, though! Remember, “Tigers” and “Poop” are, like, four words away from each other in the headline.

Yep, as Akon reveals in the clip, tigers unload about 15 pounds of poop on the weekly. COME ON, WE WERE ALL WONDERING.

Hmmm, maybe that’s why only crazy-rich celebrities and Disney princesses are able to keep them as pets? You know, only they can afford the yard space.

Oh, also probably ’cause these wild cats (#GOWILDCATS) will murder you if you try to raise ’em in an apartment. We learned that from “Law & Order: SVU,” and we have no reason to believe otherwise.

But, you know what? We’re just gonna self-induce some selective celebrity gossip amnesia on this whole mess and focus on the fact that Akon describes himself as “a real cat person” at the beginning of the video because #same.

+ Watch Akon talk about how his tigers won’t stop pooping in his backyard. Trigger warning for anyone with tiger poop-related trauma!

Photo credit: Getty Images