Who knew that Dame Helen Mirren was a professor of the Miley Cyrus Method of Interpretive Twerk? ICYDK, Dame Helen was the star of
our your grandmother’s favorite movie of 2006, “The Queen,” for which she won an Oscar playing our future in-law, Queen Elizabeth.
What? If Prince Harry would just meet us, we KNOW it would be love at first sight. Can anyone help a sister out?
Sorry. Where were we? Oh, right. Hailing the new Queen of Twerk! The actress displayed some decidedly Miley Cyrus at the VMAs-inspired moves at Harvard University of all places, where she was being honored with the 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year award.
Because it’s an Ivy League school ‘n’ stuff, we thought we should take this opportunity to learn from Dame Helen’s closed-captioned-for-the-hearing-impaired twerking photo. (#TheMoreYouKnow) Are you taking notes?
1. If pudding can indeed have the quality of haste, then ergo, OUR awards shall henceforth be named the “Sleepy Tater Tots.” (Spoiler: The only qualification for winning a Sleepy Tater Tot is not falling into a carb-induced coma after entire bag of Ore-Ida.)
2. Harvard couldn’t even spring for a foam finger. Dame Helen had to use that tragic pink loofah instead. How rude and un-befitting a newly-crowned queen!
3. We would never have guessed that such a prestigious bastion of education would invite their award recipients to twerk. We would have studied way harder for our SATs if we’d known that. Twerk, Miley, twerk! Er, we mean study.
Photo credit: Getty Images / GIF: MTV