Sultry pose, Selena, but WHO TOOK THIS PHOTO?!
Gather ’round, ye internet investigators. We have a new case. The client? Selena Gomez. The “Slow Down” singer posted a very spiritual, very naked-looking moment on Instagram, where she’s seen twirling underneath some see-through fabric like the little girl in “The Others.” #AreYouMad #IAmYourDaughter
Coupla things. We spent literally many seconds examining this photo, and based on our extremely scientific findings, we can deduce that Sel is very likely only wearing undies. Trust us. We watch “CSI.”
The time we’ve spent
napping through watching procedural reruns also tells us that this photo had to have been taken by another person, someone who knows her intimately. Say, someone who grinds up on her in dance studios? Say, someone who’s rumored to be collaborating on a duet with her? Say, someone who might call her an elegant princess?
What? Justin Bieber? Where in the last paragraph did we ever say that Justin is the one who took this pic? I mean, sure, he’d obviously want to take a photo to capture the smize queen’s beauty and preserve it for posterity via Instagram like any sane person, but don’t put words in our mouth!
Besides, this could always just be from, IDK, a photo shoot or something. #ChungChung #WhoopsWrongCrimeProcedural