+ Exciting news about Madonna that has nothing to do with adoption and nannies! The Queen of Pop will be teaming up with none other than Paul Oakenfold for the U.K. and European legs of her "Sticky & Sweet" tour, as well as some new tracks on her September 2009 greatest hits album that will consist of "cutting edge sounds combined with classic Madonna."

+ Cher is finally speaking out about her daughter Chastity Bono's decision to transition from female to male. She seems to be pretty cool about the whole thing. OMG my mom would ground me for at LEAST three weeks. (Star Magazine)

+ After Whitney Houston turned down the part, rapper Eve has signed up for a two-episode story arc on the upcoming FOX series GLEE as a high school choir director. (EW.com)

+ Ooh! A new video from Ciara f. Missy Elliott where Ciara turns a construction site into a catwalk? We'll take two. (Rap-Up)

+ Geography is HARD y'all!  Britney Spears slipped up and said "What's up, London?!"at the only concert she did in the U.K. 200 miles outside of London (the show was in Manchester). Let's just say the fans were not amused. (CelebWarship)

+ Meanwhile, back in an Arkansas prison, T.I.'s got a rill RILL bad case of the squirts. (Bossip)

EW, NME SHOCKWAVES! YOU'RE BIG MEANIES for giving the Jonas Brothers the Worst Band Award at tonight's NME Shockwave Awards.

Also, BRITAIN, WHY IS YOUR ORANGE JUICE LIKE $7 USD, HUH? And why do you call lady parts "fannies"? THAT MEANS BUTT! And seriously, you think the Jonas Brothers are bad? Um, I'll see the Jonas Brothers (and Tokio Hotel, because they were nominated too and I AM very protective of them!) and raise you WESTLIFE, Lisa Scott-Lee, Paul Oakenfold, Victoria Beckham, and that dude from X-Factor. Also, with a movie and soundtrack out in the same week and a TV show and world tour coming up, Jonas Brothers are pretty much the Bill Gates of teen culture. They're everywhere. Get used to it.

I'll give you the Beatles, Britain, but first you need to take responsibility Blackout Crew. Put a donk on THAT, and then we'll talk.