Did I miss a memo? Was there a meeting I wasn't invited to? A gathering of music video directors in which they decided most videos released in October 2009 MUST BE SET AT COSTUME BALLS?

Metro Station's "Kelsey," Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova," and now OneRepublic's "All The Right Moves." Is this a statement about our national identity? Is there an Eyes Wide Shut revival going on? Or are music video directors simply watching Panic! At The Disco's "It's Better If You Do" and then thinking, "I want that." Whatever the case, put a stamp on it and mail it to the Federal Department of Music Video Trends.

"All The RIght Moves" is the first single from OneRepublic's forthcoming Waking Up. It's an uptempo departure after "Apologize," with skittering jams and a huge chorus, wherein the group plays houseband for a party inappropriately hosted by an unsupervised child. I'm sure he'll be protected by Ryan Tedder's angelic vocals and genetic predisposition to crank out monster hits, but really, someone should read that kid a story or something. There are probably child labor laws being broken there.

Watch OneRepublic's brand-new "All The Right Moves" video, directed by Wayne Isham.

Costume ballers! I feel a motif blossoming. Hot on the heels of Carrie Underwood's brief flirtation with Eyes-Wide-Shut-erry Metro Station deliver their new clip for their old-ish song, "Kelsey," (off the Kelsey EP) featuring more masked hi-jinks than you can shake a monogrammed handkerchief at.

This emo-lectro jam is livened up by the appearance of Aimee Teegarden from the too-awesome-for-words Friday Night Lights. (Teegarden is no stranger to music vids, having appearing in Hinder's "Without You," previously.) In "Kelsey" Teegarden plays the apple of singer Mason Musso's eye, as he pursues her behind her date's back. There's dramz, tears, and more dramz. Not unlike an episode of Friday Night Lights, just with less football.

Props to Carrie Underwood for kind of taking it there. America's sweetheart; the darling of Nashville, the prom queen of the high school that is our national culture, Underwood didn't have to shake things up; and while she didn't break the rules of gravity and good taste in her new clip for "Cowboy Casanova," she still got a little brazen with it. I mean how often do you associate line-dancing with Stanley Kubrick's creepy erotic thriller, Eyes Wide Shut? Well, now you do!

Once the masks get thrown aside, Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova" video gets slightly more traditional, with Underwood (whose ankles are FROZE! Check those heels out!) singing in a sultry voice while flapper-style gals flap around on the sidelines. There seems to be some space-time-fluxing going down here, with the '20s Jazz Age blending into a glam take on Deadwood at some point. All this in service to a song about a dude whose love is like a disease. Honey, men are the worst.

I hope you ordered heavy-on-the-"whoas," with extra Ryan Cabrera hair, because that's what's on the menu in Push Play's new video, "Midnight Romeo." For the Long Island group's upcoming Found album, lead singer CJ Baran offers... well, I'm not going to call it a "serenade," despite the "Midnight Romeo" title. Why? "Tonight your dinner's free; what's in it for me?" hardly qualifies as "sweet nothings." By the way, Push Play's touring with Jessie James throughout October, so hopefully she'll keep 'em in line.

"Midnight Romeo" takes the garage band, and moves it up to the attic -- an attic that houses none other than Emily Osment, a.k.a. Lilly Truscott from Hannah Montana. The video's also directed by Roman White, who's behind Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me," (... oh yeah, that video), as well as some Carrie Underwood classics like "Before He Cheats." White also directed Osment's video for her upcoming All The Right Wrongs album.

+ Sad news at this hour: DJ AM was found dead in his NYC apartment this afternoon, apparently of a drug overdose. From everything we've heard, he was a really nice guy all around and will be sorely missed. (MTV News)

+ Country music darling Carrie Underwood reminded us all why we like her so much, donating hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of instruments to her high school alma mater. (People)

+ Pop star Miley Cyrus performed her new single "Party In The U.S.A." to a max-capacity crowd at the TODAY show in NYC this morning, holdin' on to those high notes for dear life (but managing to let go of the stripper pole this time around). (E! Online)

+ Weezer's Rivers Cuomo admitted to Rolling Stone this week that their debut single "Undone - The Sweater Song" was a complete rip-off (intentionally or otherwise) of a Metallica song. (Rolling Stone)

+ For those of us longing for the old Mariah Carey and wondering why she's been peddling s%*# for the last few years, lady is BACK with her new cover of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." (Neon Limelight)

+ What do you do if you're Lindsay Lohan and a store who loaned you two million dollars worth of jewelry comes a'knockin' for it? You say your safe was STOLEN, of course. HEY! It's a recession!! Gotta be frugal! (The Superficial)

+ Noel Gallagher quit Oasis last night? Via his blog? (NME)

When you first saw that Jessie James was opening for the Jonas Brothers, were you also like "WHY must I endure a motorcycle demo by the stony, tattooed Mr. Sandra Bullock while waiting to see the Jonas Brothers?" Was anyone else surprised to discover that this Jessie James is a five-foot, X-tina-gone-country knock-out. (And, yes, this 21-year-old singer is a JessIE, unlike the Celebrity Apprentice contestant or the Wild West bank robber.)

But how did this self-proclaimed Army brat from Georgia score an opening gig on the Jonas Brother's summer tour? Here are five good reasons Jessie James should be on -- and stay on -- your radar.

1. The Girl Actually Writes Her Own Music And Actually Hustles
Jessie gets respect not just for co-writing tracks on her debut album (which comes out July 28), which includes the Carrie-Underwood-would-cut-a-b+tch-for-this number "Wanted," co-written by Kara DioGuardi (the OTHER Idol judge!). But Jessie's also been hard at work on a radio station tour... albeit a kinda D-list one, but that's how you make it, girl...

Jessie is an immediately competent singer (even in a T-shirt and Uggs), and as a career woman she's hungry; look for another single, "Bullet," co-written by one Katy Perry, on Jessie's horizon ... Wait, did Kelly Clarkson just call?

2. She's Hybrid Country
I need a chaser with my country music, and Jessie's sultry, Aguilera-esque belt goes beyond Reba and into dance and hip-hop territory, a hybrid Jessie lovingly dubs "hick-hop" (not kidding). Listen to "Blue Jeans" -- it was in Confessions of a Shopaholic, if it sounds familiar -- for some surprising funk... and fun zipper sound effects.

3. She's Got an Edge, And a Healthy Ego
She may not tune up motorcycles like Mr. Bullock, but Jessie has an intense Megan Fox moment in her "Wanted" music video. Someone turn the hose on her! Jessie also posed for a bomb spread in Maxim and admits she cleans her house "nekkid." Always on time for Sunday church, though!

Jessie will also be the first to tell you how talented she is -- and that "when she blows up," she'll be getting those "Blue Jeans" for free! Hey, it takes a certain confidence to pitch your songs to L.A. Reid as a teenager,  so again, don't hate her for hustling, because that's how you end hanging out backstage with Nick, Kevin, and Joe.

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It was either the French, the Afghans, Mario Puzo, or the Quentin Tarantino who said "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Were they right? Who knows? Everything I needed to know I learned from pop culture and music videos, which have taught me that when it comes to getting even, nothing beats the ass-kicking, window-smashing, good old-fashioned REVENGE video. (And leaving a horse head in someone's bed.)

Check out 10 classic videos where artists get mad, get even and get revenge by trashing their ex's place, taping themselves in naughty situations (right, Justin Timberlake?), putting the hurt on someone else's credit cards, or howling like a she-wolf in the middle of the desert like your name was Alanis Morissette. (Exactly like that, actually.)

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF REJECTION

Alanis Morissette -- "You Oughta Know"
Nothing says "woman scorned" like the wrath of Alanis Morissette and all. that. hair. Her 1995 video, "You Oughta Know," quickly became a b+tchfest manifesto for the maligned and scorned the world over. Thinking of getting "exploratory" in a movie theater? Um, yeah. Don't. Also, learning corner: Flea and Dave Navarro played on the original recording!
+ Watch "You Oughta Know"

BREAK STUFF!

Carrie Underwood -- "Before He Cheats"
If you cheat on Carrie Underwood, you've got an even bigger problem than the major hike in car insurance you're about to experience once you discover she's beat the LIVING S+++ out of your truck. In her 2006 "Before He Cheats" video, Carrie Underwood not only takes aim with a baseball bat, but she also BLOWS THINGS UP WITH HER MIND, bringing new meaning to "smash hit." Ever see Carrie the movie? Coincidence? I think not.
+ Watch "Before He Cheats"

Lily Allen -- "Smile"
Crafty Lily Allen recruits a band of local thugs and no-goodniks to mug her ex -- played by EastEnders' Elliott Jordan -- wreck his place, smash his records, and stuff his shirts in the toilet in her 2006 video, "Smile." Also he gets mugged and a horbs case of the Hershey squirts after Lily spikes his coffee with Ex-Lax. Smooth moves all around!
+ Watch "Smile"

AYO TECHNOLOGY

Justin Timberlake -- "Cry Me A River"
What happens when you cheat on Justin Timberlake? Nothing creepy or anything. Duder just pulls up to your driveway with Timbaland in the car, sneaks into your house when you leave, films himself banging an INCREDIBLY HOT CHICK, and leaves the evidence rolling and ready for you to watch when you step out of the shower. No big deal. (It's extra creepy if you happen to look like Britney Spears. ALSO: Fun fact -- the girl who plays Britney in the video is Lauren Hastings, who dated Shia LaBeouf. She also claimed that Lindsay Lohan stole an $11,000 coat from her.)
+ Watch "Cry Me A River"

Backstreet Boys -- "The Call"
Now pay attention because the Backstreet Boys' 2002 video for "The Call" may confuse people less intelligent than me. In the "The Call" video, one if not ALL of the BSBs are progressively cheating on their girlfriend/s, who MAY or may not have SET UP the guy/s to cheat on them in the first place. Total BSB sting operation! With a girl who may or may not be a transvestite. (Note: that's speculation on my part, but she kinda does look like a drag queen. Which is FINE if she were a tranners, but it'd take the video in a totally different direction.) Anyway, they're all cheating, or it's symbolic cheating or whatever, and the old-school 2002 cell phone (hence the phone sound effects!) becomes THE VESSEL through which the cheating travels. Symbolic BSB girlfriend however PWONES and sets up the whole operation to completely fail, thus flipping the script and using the cell phone and "the call that changed my destiny" as the vehicles that drive the whole sordid affair into the ground. Technology wins, cheaters lose! (Not-so-fun-fact: In 2003, AJ McLean revealed to Oprah that he first tried cocaine the night the "The Call" video was shot.)
+ Watch "The Call"

MURDER WAS THE CASE

Kanye West -- "Flashing Lights"
Spike Jonze directed Kanye West's 2008 "Flashing Lights" video, which is his most dramatic and definitely his most gruesome to date. While the song and lyrics are haunting, they completely belie the video's drastic measures: Playboy model Rita G shoves Kanye in a car, duct tapes his mouth shut (ahem!), and beats the life out of him with a shovel. All for the leaving the toilet seat up!
+ Watch "Flashing Lights"

+ Ashley Tisdale, Aerosmith, and credit card revenge after the jump!

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+ Katy Perry kissed a... boy! Paris Hilton's ex, Benji Madden. And according to everyone who was totally spying on them at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas on V-day, she liked it. Like, a lot. (People)

+ Carrie Underwood thinks every day should be Valentine's Day. (Celebuzz)

+ Valentine's Day was also pretty memorable for M.I.A. this year -- she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. (MTV News)

+ Dear Lily Allen: YES, we all know you have a third nipple. Any chance you might stop whipping it out anytime there is a camera around? No? Very well then. (Evil Beet)

+ 50 Cent attempted to clear up all matters of Kanye West's sexuality last week, however, 'Ye has now chimed in to confirm that he's not gay, just sensitive... and fashion forward... and VERY secure in his manhood, thank you very much. (MTV News)

+ After all of the alleged nastiness last week between Chris Brown and Rihanna, Brown finally piped up about the matter and released a statement. He's "saddened"...and, uhm, so are we. (Pop Culture Fix)

+ The Jonas Brothers hit Letterman last week and dropped their own Top 10 list --  The Top 10 Most Surprising Facts About the Jonas Brothers. Number 8? "Sometimes we lather, rinse, repeat... And then repeat again." (Socialite Life)

+ And then "K-2," "Danger" and "Mr. President" -- i.e. the Jonas Brothers -- performed on Saturday Night Live (epic recap here) and almost became the Donut Brothers. (Pop Crunch)

+ And then Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle hit up New York's Meatpacking District, wearing matching shoes. (Just Jared Jr.)

+ And then the Jo Bros showed up at Honor Society's sold-out gig at the Fillmore East. (And already, EW raises the question: Is Honor Society the next Jonas Brothers? Buzzworthy's answer: Honor Society's adorable, but no.) (HonorSocietyFan)

+ Have you heard? We've joined the Twitterverse! What up Tweeple! (ok, Twitter speak dunzo in 3...2...1) (MTV Buzzworthy)

Isn't it amazing how all it takes is one little scandal to make an artist look like a total psychic?? Obviously we're still speculating about what exactly went on between Chris Brown and Rihanna on Grammy night, but regardless, all of a sudden their catalogs have become totally cringe-worthy. "SOS?" "Final Goodbye?" "Break It Off?" Yikes! "Shut Up And Drive??" AHHH!

Holy Disturbia! Now again, Viacom Legal squad, if you're reading this, WE'RE NOT SAYING WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OR THAT TWO WRONGS MAKE A RIGHT, but because Rihanna's songs are basically all now loaded with double-entendres (don't even get me started on Chris Brown's!), let's do a playlist of female revenge fantasy videos!

+ Lily Allen, "Smile": Doesn't this lil' reggae-fied Brit make heartbreak sound like so much fun? Lily Allen's apartment-trashing revenge, though sloppy, feels like the first day of spring! Not a bad place to start.

+ Blu Cantrell, "Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops)": Somewhere out there, a 30-year-old is saying "Ooooh that was my JAAAM!" This scorned woman gets even by stealing her man's credit card and going on a shopping spree.

+ Frankee, "F.U.R.B.": Somewhere out there, someone's about to get fired for playing this at work. It's dirty! A foul-mouthed response to Eamon's equally vulgar "I Don't Want You Back," this is one of those "throw everything out the window" type of revenges. NSFW, 'kay?

+ The Dixie Chicks, "Goodbye Earl": WARNING: Definitely do NOT try this variety of revenge at home. SERIOUS.

+ Carrie Underwood, "Before He Cheats": As long as we're already out in the country, let's watch Carrie Underwood smash up her no-good-dude's car with a Louisville slugger!

+ Beyonce, "Irreplaceable": As Beyonce clearly knows, no man's worth all that drama. In this monster jam, she beats her man to the punch (:-/) and sends his bunk ass packing before he even has time to screw up.

Check out this Chris Brown and Rihanna photo timeline, and submit your own ideas for falsely-accused man-on-the-run videos (search every outhouse, henhouse and dog house!) in the comments!

Perhaps I should've attempted to adjust my TV, but aside from that T.I., M.I.A., Jay-Z, Wayne hip-hop all-stars performance and Coldplay's ongoing Fisher-Price-meets-Sgt. Pepper troop trope (yaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnn... and I DID NOT need to see that much of Chris Martin's treasure trail!) the 2009 Grammys might as well have been broadcast in black and white.

From the Jonas Brothers, to Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift and even Kid Rock (who usually doesn't leave the house unless it's in something that demonstrates his affinity for a BeDazzler and a pound or two of rhinestones) kept it a funereal black and white, though they all pulled it off with elegant panache. In short, aside from the few mod metallics, and Katy Perry, the 2009 Grammys were all about sobering, somber chic! For real, I thought I was going temporarily colorblind.

Anyway, let's get to it!

Jonas Brothers: True, the Jonas Brothers didn't win the Grammy they were up for, but getting to share a stage with Stevie Wonder was prize enough, IMO. Fashion-wise, their red carpet tuxedo trio was pretty much what you'd expect from the capable hands of stylist Michelle Tomaszewski. My favorite was Nick Jonas' head-to-toe black Burberry suit. Kevin Jonas' Versace suit subtly set him apart as the elder statesmen of the three. Joe's metallic Versace jacket was a little too Vegasy for my tastes, but I always appreciate that he takes fashion risks. Also, BTW, did you see Denise? WOAH, mama, she looked amazing! As for the Jonas Brothers' performance looks: Nick was in Dior, and I LOVED that his look was a little bit Danny Zucko in Grease, less the schmaltz, a little bit James Dean, a tiny bit old-school Faith-era George Michael, and a WHOLE LOT grown up. Honestly, Joe's performance look wasn't doing THAT much for me. Don't get me wrong -- he looked perfect as always, but Nick really stood out so much that he overshadowed Joe, who could've gone a little farther than just the ripped Requel Allegra tee and Dior vest and jeans. By the way, that eye-popping necklace was by Swiss designer Avakian, and while I'm sure it was stunning in person, it distracted on screen (Was it a cassette tape? A jeweled cracker? Bingo card? Billion-dollar iPod? No clue!) and took away from his Mick Jagger swagger. It would've made more sense for Joe to wear a fitted jacket, especially with Kevin all like "Oh hai, I'm just over here nailing this performance and coming out with a 3D movie and a TV show and we're gonna be on Saturday Night Live and everything" in a swish Versace suit. But back to the Jonas Brothers' performance: Not just ANYBODY gets to cover "Superstition," and this performance completely put the Jonas Brothers on the map... for the two people whose maps the Jonas Brothers weren't already on. Seriously though, that performance was icon-status-sealing and could finalize their move out of the teen-pop mold; it showed skeptics that the Jonas Brothers aren't just bubblegum, they can (for the trilllionth time!) play their own instruments, command a stage, and extend their reach beyond a youth-only audience.

Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift: Miley wore an original Herve Leger by Max Azria dress on the red carpet. Had it been just plain black, it would've been a bit boring, but the bejeweled bodice, criss-cross straps and stacks of bangles kept it fresh, and the massive rosette kept it from being "just another black dress," and though the length was a little overwhelming, the shape was amazingly flattering. Taylor Swift drove home the "we're besties" message in a Kaufman Franco black jersey dress with patent leather detailing. Gotta say: both dresses were way too long. Take a cue from Carrie Underwood and show a little leg while they're still amazing! You can't fault Miley or Taylor for appearing adult while playing the good role model role, but I wouldn't have minded either dress in a more youthful color, like a jewel tone. Also, I can't say I loved either's performance outfit, Miley's especially. Jeans at the Grammys? I know it's not the Oscars, but it's not the CMAs either. (Sorry, CMT!) That top looked like Liza Minnelli's cast-off. Bring back the cute!

Katy Perry: I liked that Katy Perry was strictly business on the red carpet -- her pink dress was by Lebanese designer Basil Soda -- and party on stage, where she chose to wear every color ever in her salute to Carmen Miranda. Her costume was by The Blonds, and her "I Kissed a Girl" performance made me feel like I was trapped inside a pachinko machine. And I kinda liked it.

Jennifer Hudson: Okay, I just need to say it: That white asymmetrical bib on Jennifer Hudon's color-blocked sculptural RM by Roland Mouret Trenet dress made her look like she had an emergency pre-Grammy root canal and forgot to take off the bib. However, I loved her midnight blue shoes. Also, Jennifer Hudson can do whatever she wants because she had the worst year ever and her talent knows know bounds. The black sequined dress she wore during her performance of "You Pulled Me Through" was stellar stuff, and the flamenco-style hair and earrings were really all she needed to complete the portrait-of-the-young-woman-as-a-pure-powerhouse look.

Sara Bareilles: Speaking of pink, Sara Bareilles was totally pretty in pink in her Louisa Beccaria strapless ruffled dress with matching (but not too matchy-matchy!) accents. I wanna write her a love song and thank her for wearing something so sugary sweet.

Audrina Patridge: Audrina usually looks sexy or hot or amazing but "cute" is not usually the first word that comes to mind. But last night, Audrina looked absolutely adorable in teal Tadashi. Her hair and bright lips were also perfection. Yay, color! Finally!

M.I.A.: We get it. You and your boyfriend got bored and decided to act out Juno. But were you hitting the labor drugs early? You do NOT need to dress like a bloated ladybug. Don't get me wrong -- I love House of Holland (who designed her black-and-white performance outfit). I just love Agyness Deyn in it more. And I'm fine with you wearing Golas when you're playing human hotel. But did you really need to go the Dorothy Zbornak route? I'm still not convinced you weren't hiding all FOUR Golden Girls underneath that Manish Arora tarp.

Jordin Sparks: You are SO SO SO cute and SO not an old lady. But that rose-printed Debra Davenport dress was SO not cute and SO old lady!

Carrie Underwood: That performance pantsuit was a little June Carter Cash with those OOC chiffon bell sleeves, but who cares? She's got legs for miles! And was it just me, or did her female guitarist look like Paris Hilton? Speaking of...

Paris Hilton: Yes, Paris. Less is still less. Please send that Versace Spring 2003 mini back to 2003 where it should stay.

LeAnn Rimes: i'm a huge fan of stone embellishments, but LeAnn's cerulean Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti outfit looked like Star Trek Voyager made its maiden voyage to Cyprus. And taupe? Really? You don't wear taupe on a red carpet unless you're going to the pantyhose awards. Or you're Leona Lewis. And speaking of...

Leona Lewis: Leona is such a gorgeous girl, but her tan Randi Rahm gown bleeding bored me.

Duffy: I've read some negatory reactions toward Duffy's Alberta Ferretti jeweled chiffon cocktail dress, but I really loved that she took an ordinary style and made it her own with an asymmetrical cut. It was super glam but subdued and fit her soulful, old-school style perfectly.

Kanye West: Mazel tov! Your transformation into '80s television star Meshach Taylor is now complete!

Estelle: Call us when Kanye's spaceship lands.

++ MORE GRAMMYS PHOTOS AFTER THE JUMP! ++

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