The subject of my girl Jessica Simpson is not the most cheery for me right now... That said, this vintage TRL video temporarily sent me to a happy place. First off, Jessica's outfit will put a smile on your face; I had to hit pause just to savor the image. I mean... just watch it. The glittery pink eye shadow, the crimped hair, the leather pants... what a difference nine years makes.

Yes, it was a simpler time, a happier time, when Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson were still together. While the duet of "Where You Are" from Jessica's 1999 debut, Sweet Kisses, showcases Jessica's fantastic voice (she also knows to turn her head before a belt, sparing Nick's eardrums), my happy moment was short-lived.

Why can't it just be like this again? Vanessa's gone; Tony's gone; John Mayer's gone (wait -- Mayer might not be gone; did you hear that rumor?), so couldn't Nick and Jessica offer each other the perfect comfort? So say her Tweets, Jessica's just sleeping with her mom and dogs and listening to Olivia Broadfield songs right now. Help her! Let the rumors of a reconciliation be true...

Watch the duet from the good ol' days below, intro-ed by a "lonely and untalented" Carson Daly.

What is it about rapcore/ nu-metal hybrids that make dudes wanna wear masks or do weird things to their eyeballs? Case in point: Slipknot, Insane Clown Posse, Wes Borland, Adam Siska once, and Marilyn Manson always (dude, remember his eyes in "The Beautiful People"? And his scary Saw dental work?)

Whatever it is, Hollywood Undead is keeping the traditional alive, and they're also one of the biggest things to hit the Internet since Google. Seriously. Dudes blew up on MySpace and quickly had people realizing that there were cooler people to be friends with on MySpace than just "Tom," and they're currently crossing the country on the Saints & Sinners tour.

In case you're keeping track, my favorite members are J-Dog and Deuce, but only because I like their masks the most.

+ Watch Hollywood Undead's interviews and favorite videos on MTV2's "You Rock the Deuce."

Be honest with yourself, TRL loyalists! Some of you dreamed of a Carson Daly-Damien Fahey sandwich (I MEAN YOU WANTED TO SHARE A QUIZNO'S SUB WITH THEM! GOD!!!), and some of you HATERS dreamed of a Carson-Damien smackdown, didn't you? I certainly didn't. Carson didn't, but I KNOW some of you did. BUT, who does Carson think would win in a battle of the boy band VJs?

"I'm just a much bigger guy. I think I would destroy him, actually," Carson told Details' Know + Tell blog.

DEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS! Actually, they're not. Because I took them out of context. But see what else he told Know + Tell about beating up Damien, potentially kissing -- and potentially getting punched by -- Katy Perry, and why he used to wear nail polish during his TRL days.

Tom Wolfe he ain't, and as fetching as that man looks in a white suit, Tom never wrote a verse like "Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over who she..." you get the point.

So, Eminem's book, The Way I Am, ($24-ish at Barnesandnoble.com or Amazon.com) is, uh, ... less an autobiography (like, we're not even talking Slash levels here) and more a glossy collection of production notes and mementos bound into a yearbook that showcases his preternatural collection of middle-finger photos.

The best quote of the book? "My old manager and I wound up falling out over a Whopper sandwich. Manager dude was going to Burger King, and he didn't ask me if I wanted anything to eat, knowing I had no money. I didn't have a dollar in my f-----g pocket. At that point I said, F--- it, you know? What kind of a f------g manager are you?" WORD LIFE!

There is also an amazing centerfold devoted to how intense Eminem feels about horses. ("Horses and me, we don't get on too well. I wouldn't f--- with a horse. If a horse dissed me, I wouldn't say anything back.") Not making that up either.

Anyway with quotes like that and photos of Eminem's pre-Taco Bell ass, it is a book that makes me thank GOD the printing press was invented. It won't fit into your stocking, but it should look lovely alongside most standard-issue menorahs. Enjoy!

+ Ho-ho-ho holiday-appropes Eminem video: "Just Lose It."

More Buzzworthy S*** We Wanna Get:
+ Katy Perry's 'Hot N Cold' Makeup
+ Kristen Stewart-Approved TOMS Shoes
+ Tokio Hotel Shoes & Programmable Watch
+ Jonas Brothers’ Plaid Vest
+ Britney’s “Circus” Necklace & Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” Robo Ring

I know, I know -- the end of the TRL era is pretty traumatizing, but perhaps this will help ease the blow -- an addition to the Buzzworthy family: Erica, who pledged her allegiance to Britney Spears years ago, and hasn't looked back since. She's written for the NY Observer, the NY Press, and is an expert celeb blogger. When she's not writing about all things buzzworthy, she can usually be found obsessively watching videos on mtvmusic.com, deconstructing episodes of The Hills or eating cupcakes (mostly eating cupcakes, actually). Check out her first post right here, and don't do something mean like try to sell her a pool pass when you know there's no pool at Buzzworthy High! Anyway, welcome, Erica!

+ OK, I know that we're all in devastation mode re: TRL, and I hear ya. The next few days are gonna be rough. However, I'm positive I have a solution that will help us all pick up the shattered pieces of our lives and move on dot org with grace and dignity: Justin Timberlake in a leotard; Srsly please tell me you watched Saturday Night Live. Our boy (well, mine ...) Justin Timberlake brought some hardcore funny as a male back-up dancer in Beyonce's "Single Ladies" music video, and then absolutely killed during a special appearance on Weekend Update. Trust me: if you watch nothing else on the Internet ever again, you must not miss Timberlake in his Danskins. (Buzzfeed)

+ Beyonce was pretty darn hilars herself on SNL AND she performed two songs off her new album, I Am... Sasha Fierce: "If I Were A Boy" and "Single Ladies (Put A Ring on It)." (Concrete Loop)

+ Oh no she di-int: Ashlee Simpson checked into the hospital on Saturday, leading us all to believe that baby Wentz had finally arrived. But, alas, bump watch '08 is back on after Ashlee checked out a short time later. (Life & Style)

+ Modern love is so adorbs: Kelly Osbourne and 18-year-old male model Luke Worrall apparently announced to the world that they were getting hitched ... via Luke's Facebook status. Upcoming plans for the wedding will be posted on their MySpace pages, with honeymoon scoop going straight to their Twitter feeds. Ahhh, love 2.0! (Evil Beet)

+ Dear Everyone: pls just leave Miley Cyrus alone already; i.e. stop hacking into all her stuff! Kthxz0rzbye!!!1! (MTV News)

+ Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey plan to share in a Christmas tradition that has nothing to do with sugarplums OR mistletoe; apparently in the Cannon household, it's all about the bikinis (duh). Mariah and all her besties like to get into their suits, roll around in the snow and finish off the night in the hot tub. Gawd bless us ... everyone. (The Superficial)

+ Cute Overload much? The P.S. 22 Children's Choir in NYC does a fab cover of Tori Amos' "1,000 Oceans." Kids sing the darndest things! (Perez Hilton)

+ Oh yeah ... almost forgot: Did you guys hear that TRL's over? 3:30's never gonna be the same again.

He wasn't using it at the time, so Fall Out Boy and I comandeered Carson Daly's dressing room backstage at Total Finale Live.

Watch Patrick Stump, Joe Trohman, Andy Hurley, and "Pete Wentz" (who mysteriously grew a few inches and started to embody a strange Wes Borland look), talk Tool, Britney Spears, Stephen Colbert, opening up a Times Square Angels & Kings offshoot, and, most importantly, *NSYNC.

Then see The Academy Is...'s Sisky lob the love back to Fall Out Boy and Pete and Ashlee.

Here on the main floor of 1515 Broadway, producers, equipment guys and camera people who've worked on the show since day one are hugging, taking photos, and taking advantage of their last night together. The PA system's going off every few seconds with sound checks and show clips, while back-up dancers and stylists rush in and out of dressing rooms and producers with clipboards race by. Carson Daly just came through the production hall in a suit and wished everyone good luck.

The audience is filing in through the back hallway, and the crowd jamming up the streets of Times Square is getting bigger and bigger every time I go and look outside the picture windows as the countdown ticks nearer and nearer to the beginning of Total Finale Live -- and the end of 10 years of TRL.

So far, I haven't espied your Justin Timberlake, but I HAVE seen Beyonce -- from my seat in the control room, where we're watching her and her band rehearse live. I don't even think she has any makeup on, and she looks Be-yond Be-autiful, and sounds like a house on fire, put out with a bucket of honey. In the words of the emaciated Rachel Zoe, I DIE! See it for yourself in MINUTES when Beyonce performs live on Total Finale Live!

** UPDATE: Watch Fall Out Boy's exclusive backstage interview here! **

Times Square's rarely an "easy" place to navigate. Couple that with Fall Out Boy sound checking on a flatbed on Broadway and 44th Street on Sunday afternoon, a handful of cameras on cranes, and rows of hundred-pound rotating lights illuminating the whole scene, and you've basically got a no-bake recipe for what I can refer to as ... a congested situation that starts with the word "cluster" and ends with the first word of Andy Hurley's clothing line.

After Fall Out Boy finished their sound check, I squeezed my way out of the crushing throng of confused tourists, which was only slightly more difficult than pushing through a brick wall, made my way back into the MTV building, pulled Fall Out Boy out of the TRL green room -- where everyone was watching the Giants' game -- and into a slightly quieter venue suitable for a Buzzworthy interview -- Carson Daly's dressing room!

Stay tuned for an exclusive backstage interview with Patrick, Andy, Joe, and... um ... "Pete!"

Format meetings -- usually a staid affair where everyone involved in putting together a live MTV show runs down the minute-by-minute show schedule, production notes and needs, and lots of logistics, and techy camera stuff, except this meeting included Damien (who was catching lots of the backstage stuff on a Flipcam) and Lyndsey -- both sharing a chair, as you do with your work bestie -- and TRL alum and ex-officio like Hilarie Burton, Quddus, Carson Daly, La La Vasquez (everyone cheered when she walked in) and a super smiley Dave Holmes. Everyone was hugging, reminiscing with producers and camera dudes, and generally looking happy to be back together. It's like a high school reunion, except famouser!

I'm off to go see who's in hair and makeup! I'll keep keeping you posted on more BTS Total Finale Live stuff all night!

Total Finale Live doesn't start until 8pm TONIGHT, but I've been here at MTV HQ in Times Square since 10am, type type typing away, mainlining coffee (yet again), and keeping my eyes apeeled for my first Carson Daly spotting in preparation for tonight's teary TRL farewell.

See who else will be arriving in just a matter of hours to help close out 10 years of screaming fandemonium on Total Finale Live -- tonight at 8pm ET -- and come back to Buzzworthy for the total behind-the-scene report!