UPDATE: CHECK OUT PHOTOS OF THE ENGAGEMENT RING!!

It is with a heavy heart that I type the following words, which most of you probably already know: Kevin Jonas is engaged. But not to me. (Sadly...) Or to you. Kevin Jonas got engaged to his long-time girlfriend Danielle Deleasa. Kevin popped the question early this morning on Danielle's doorstep after flying into New Jersey on an overnight flight after the Jonas Brothers' concert in Vancouver.

The ring: a cushion-cut diamond ring that Kevin designed along with Jacob & Co.

Yes, you read that correctly. Kevin Jonas put a ring on it and is going to trade in his purity ring for a wedding ring. It's true, it's official, and it's happening. One Jonas down, two more to go. (Well, three if you count Frankie, but he's got a while.)

Anyway, congrats Kevin and Danielle. (Kevin, if things don't work out, caaaaaaaaawlllll me!!! Our kids would have SUCH fun curly hair!)

(Also, WHAT is the "Kevin Touched Me" girl gonna do when she finds out?)

Today's news that Jeff Archuleta -- father of Buzzworthy idol David Archuleta -- was arrested for soliciting a sex act at a not-really-focused-on-relieving-your-back-pain massage parlor was nothing short of completely shocking and extremely sad. We're extremely protective of our little Arch Angel and wish him lots of love and... whatever else you wish a person when they (and the whole world) find out that their Mormon dad got busted for a happy ending. By the cops.

With that, here are five more celebrity dads who will absolutely give me another heart attack if I find out they went to an "unlicensed spa."

KEVIN JONAS, SR.
Paul Kevin Jonas, Sr., father of Kevin, Joe, Nick, and Frankie is a former pastor and manages his sons' career (they're in a band called "the Jonas Brothers") which is a full-time job. Also, I've met the man, and he's a saint. I JUST KNOW in my happy little heart that Kevin Jonas, Sr. is just not capable of such indiscretions. It's just impossible.

BILLY RAY CYRUS
Miley's "Thrill Billy" daddy does have the whole out-of-wedlock thing on his side (come on! it was the free-wheelin' '90s!), and then there was the Vanity Fair/ almost-naked pix thing, but he's still a true family man who's biggest crime, in my opinion, is the highlights.

PETE WENTZ
Pete Wentz already aired all of his dirty laundry (and more!) before he settled down with Ashlee Simpson, who cranked out super-cuters Bronx. And even though he's hung with the occasional stripper, he's got a totally hot piece at home. Plus, they're one of those couples who sorta looks like they do it all the time. VIVA LA SIMPSON-WENTZES!

CLAY AIKEN
Clay Aiken is far too busy... wait, what's Clay Aiken doing these days? Oh, going to the airport! Anyway, yay! He has a cute baby! Yay!

CHARLIE SWAN
BELLA'S DAD commit a crime? PUH-LEASE! What crime could the CHIEF OF POLICE OF FORKS possibly commit? I mean, sure, he's sometimes a little emotionally unavailable, and he can't cook to save his life, and true, he's still a bit hung up on his ex-wife, but you CANNOT say that  Charlie Swan doesn't love his daughter. Probably the only crime Charlie Swan is guilty of is BEING BORN A HUMAN.

+ Now, speaking of fathers and crimes, watch George Michael's "Father Figure" video.

I know the point of this photo is that Kylie Minogue symbolically turned on the lights of the Empire State Building today in honor of the third annual Coty-DKMS Linked Against Leukemia Gala. (DKMS is the world’s largest non-profit bone marrow donor center.) But can we just discuss for a second how unbelievably radiant girlfriend looks?

Kylie Minogue -- who's touring the States this summer (!!!) -- is 40 years old, which is more than TWO Miley Cyruses and half a Frankie Jonas, and she's more stunning than famous females half her age. Madonna: you're officially on notice.

And because her "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" video, like Kylie herself, never gets old, let's...

With the super-duper mega anticipated premiere of the Jonas Brothers' new Disney Channel TV show, JONAS, premiere barely 24 hours away, let's look at five ways you can celebrate the premiere of the JBs' very own TV show.

1.) Order SEVERAL pizzas! The idea here's twofold because pizzas are both delicious (doy!), AND, you can use them as play-along-at-home props for that pizza storyline. Just don't try to eat and sing "Pizza Girl" at the same time. Also, you get bonus points if you live in Miami and order from Jonas Pizza. Also-also, the Domino's Pizza Tracker pones. (No, Domino's didn't pay me to plug that. I KNOW from personal Panormous experience.)

2.) Make a JONAS milkshake! It's called the The JoBroChoco (That’s Just the Way They) Shake. Get the recipe, go shopping for ingredients, and watch the step-by-step video. Serves three! (Four if you make a little mini one for Frankie.)

3.) Leading Ladies: Know your JONAS girls! See why Buzzworthy loves (and envies) JONAS co-starlet Nicole Anderson. And, I think Chelsea Staub has a secret twin or an identity crisis.

4.) Know Your Lucases! In the Jonas show, Kevin, Joe, and Nick play guys named Kevin, Joe, and Nick, except their last name is Lucas, their BAND name is JONAS, and they LIVE on Jonas Street. So, other Lucases you should know are Lucas Grabeel, who was in High School Musical(s) and Milk, but you probably already know him. Lucas Cruikshank -- he's the real guy behind YouTube's Fred Figglehorn. (He also had a guest spot on iCarly -- remember the cabbages video?)... And Lucas Secon from "Lucas With the Lid Off." Oh yeah, Jessica Lucas, who's on the new Melrose Place. Oddly, she sorta looks like Nicole Anderson. Full circle, people!

5.) FRANKIE! Bonus Jonas in the HOUSE!... The firehouse! Frankie's going to be co-starring in JONAS, but the Jonas Brothers have freely admitted that Frankie basically steals the show. Do you think Nick is still Frankie's favorite brother? Check out this awww-dorable photo of Frankie and his big brothers at TRL last August if you need a little scoop of BoJo before the show.

... And there you have it -- the five ways I'm celebrating the premiere of JONAS. What kind of Jonas party are you throwing? Besides one that involves Jonas balloons, obviously...

Today there was a big Jonas Brothers press call (how else do you think all magazines and Websites get the same celebrity news on the same day at the same time? Press calls!) where the guys, who I assume are very tan from their trip to the Bahamas, got on the horn and revealed some news about their upcoming world tour and their upcoming album. The most important Jonas Brothers new you need to know...

+ The Jonas Brothers' new album and the follow-up to A Little Bit Longer, will most likely be out June 15! The album title is still under wraps. (Until it isn't.) As Diddy likes to say, GET READY!

+ The Jonas Brothers 2009 world tour's gonna be in the round, which means every seat's gonna rule! No word on whether or not foam will be involved.

+ The Jonas Brothers aren't on Twitter (yet... BOO!), but... Garbo, John Taylor, and Jack Lawless are. Frankie Jonas = probably not on Twitter. (Yet!)

+ Nick said he wants to go to college some day, maybe at Northwestern. (This just in: Northwestern apps increased by 17 billion!) But we already knew that Nick Jonas <3s Chicago. Refer back to August 9, 2008, Day 2 of MTV's "Jonas Brothers: Live & Mobile," when the Jonas Brothers were driving to Madison Square Garden with their parents, and Nick told us he wants to live in Chicago someday. See people? I am A WALKING ENCYCLOPEDIA OF JONAS BROTHERS KNOWLEDGE!

So I was washing my hands in the bathroom right after a private screening of Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience, (side note: I just DO NOT understand why people don't wash their hands after peeing. There is NOTHING grosser, and I feel like if I see you skip the sink after the stall, then I'm well within my rights to judge you. [Side note to the side note, I once saw Duffy in the women's bathroom here on the 17th floor, and she absolutely, positively washed her hands. Now, I liked her a lot to begin with, but having that hygienic  confirmation only made me like her more.]) and I was thinking how in their 3D glasses, everyone kinda looked like Robert Pattinson.

And THAT'S when it hit me: Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience was better than Twilight the movie.

Sure, comparing Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience to Twilight is sorta apples to oranges, but considering the hot dude(s) factor, the fanatical following, and the insane anticipation and build-up to both, (plus, both involve magic!) it becomes McIntoshes to Macouns. (Oooh! There's also Twilight's whole apple-as-symbol-of-forbidden-fruit theme! I'M A GENIUS!)

But back to Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience, also known as JB3D. I absolutely never wanted the movie to end, and I had pouty sad face when it did. Twilight, on the other hand, couldn't have ended fast enough. (Don't get me wrong, I loved the books, but the movie was a total letdown.)

Coming from someone who spent two days on tour with the Jonas Brothers (and some of the movie footage was filmed then! I was standing right outside when they came out of the Highline Ballroom, for instance), I can honestly assure you that Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience will be one of the greatest, if not THE greatest Jonas experience of your Jonas journey -- possibly even better than seeing them live because you get a front-row seat, and you get to experience the show from the perspective of the Jonas Brothers. If the movie was made for fans who didn't get a chance to see the Jonas Brothers live, then seriously, not even a spot smack in front of the stage can top the view that Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience provides.

I don't want to give too much more away because really, you should go into the movie with a clean slate, and ultimately it doesn't really matter what I think, AND you're going to love it no matter what. But I will share a few more observations...

STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ANY JONAS SPOILERS!

Read more...

I'm not sure where Miley World is exactly, or how one might go visit (is it like Dollywood?), but I've pretty much decided that I would live there if I could.

Apparently, Miley World is the place where all things Miley Cyrus are revealed, discussed, debated, and, occasionally, playa hated. It's the place My CY goes to get real, and confront, as Miley says, the "people who are tryin' to dis... cause they are on [her] list."

In a recent video, in fact, Miley debunked five crazy/mixed-up rumors that have been flying around the Internet as of L8. Let's go through them again in case you're still unclear:

5. Tween Feuds: YOU GUYS! LISTEN TO ME! Miley is NOT feuding with: Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Frankie Jonas, Denise, or any other as yet unnamed JoBro or Jonas BFF. Also, she is soooo not feuding with Selena Gomez OR Demi Lovato. She was actually on her way over to Demi's to eat meatloaf that very night, and as we all know, you don't eat meatloaf with peeps you are feuding with. It's simply not done.

4. She's A Poseur: Yet again, WRONG. Yes, she was wearing an Iron Maiden tee recently, but that's because she LOVES Iron Maiden! Just to prove it, she even named her fave Maiden songs: "Fear of the Dark" and "Running Free." TREATED!

3. Worst Dressed Tween Queen? Uhm, she likes ripped tights... What's the big deal?

2. She Rides Her Bike Cause... It's For A Good Cause! Miley is green, y'all! She cares about the enviro-ment! She traded her Porsche for a Prius! Oh, also she bikes cause it's good for you... and "it's really fun."

1. Miley's Fat/Skinny/Body Obsessed: GAWD! Haters, you guys are pretty much oh for five... she loves her bod! She thinks real ladiez have got some curves and she doesn't think she's too fat OR too skinny. We totes agree.

Phew... glad we got all that cleared up! Now go watch Iron Maiden's "The Number of the Beast," which features a creepy voiceover by a guy who apparently isn't Vincent Price -- the guy who does the scary voiceover in the "Thriller" video -- but just sounds like him.

+ The (real) NYPD has reportedly beefed up security here in Times Square to prevent a scheduled Jonas Brothers appearance from turning into a veritable "tween mob scene." Ha! Good luck with THAT, coppahs. (Gothamist)

+ And speaking of Jonas Fever, here's a totally tween-mobworthy interview with Frankie (a.k.a. Bonus Jonas) himself! OMFJ, right!? (Jonas Brothers Fan)

+ Fresh of the heels of (false!) rumors that Katy Perry and Travis McCoy are wedding-bound come (true!) reports that Katy's twinsie, Zooey Deschanel, is engaged to Death Cab's Ben Gibbard. (MTV News)

+ One-time Shot at Love star Tila Tequila wages one-sided war against Rihanna. Discuss. (Remote Control)

+ Meanwhile, Beyonce inadvertently(?) picks a fight with Janet Jackson, calling her family upbringing a "bad situation." Yep, it's about to get Nasty, folks. (National Enquirer)

+ Britney Spears tops USA Today's annual "Celebrity Heat Index" (a.k.a. list of Most Overexposed Celebs) for the second straight year. And they said this was a comeback! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Fact: Bjork to singlehandedly save Iceland from total financial ruin. (Scandalist)

+ American Idol rewind! MTV's resident recapper, Jim Cantiello, recounts the best moments of '08. (MTV News)

Well well well! Look what the Chanukkah Stork deposited on my desk with a little help from his good friend, Fed Ex Fairy! It's the Jonas Brothers book, Burning Up: On Tour With the Jonas Brothers, written by Joe, Kevin, and Nick Jonas their very selves.

SO! Is the book AS GOOD as going on tour with the Jonas Brothers for TWO DAYS STRAIGHT like I DID BACK IN AUGUST? OF COURSE not! DUHR! Is it better than Eminem's book? CLEARLY!

You'd think that after two days on the road with the Jonases (and Denise AND Frankie), I'd know ALL there is to know about the Brothers Jonas. BUT, turns out there are STILL a few things I didn't know! Like...

Thing 1: Nick loves John Lobb shoes. I DID NOT KNOW THAT! (page 47)

Thing 2: Joe loves BrickBreaker -- no longer am I alone in my obsession! (page 30)

Thing 3: I already know everything there is to know about Kevin!

Thing 4: Joe learned his higher-than-the-Rockettes kicks from Japanese stuntman Koichi Sakamoto, who trained the Power Rangers! (page 38)

Thing 5: Trampoline dodgeball looks amazing and just may be the new Twitter! (page 83)

Oh yeah -- the detail shot of Joe's bloody pants from the AMAs, as well as the very iPod-y stylized graphic in the beginning of the book (I took some iPod-y liberties) are aces!

Find out more about Burning Up, and check out a few choice shots from within the book's hallowed covers after the jump!

AND did YOU get the Jonas Brothers' Burning Up book for your seasonal holiday celebration? Or the day it came out? What's your favorite page/ part/ passage/ pic? DISCUSS!
+ Plus: "Lovebug" is my second-fave video of all of 2008! Read more...

JoBromance Magazine (not to be confused with the LOLs-a-lot book Brocabulary, which could've been based soley on Doug and Brody alone on this week's episode of The Hills, though I digress) -- a superbly crafted free online fanzine devoted to the Jonas Brothers -- wrote an amazing article on "Jonas Brothers: Live & Mobile," this summer's MTV Jonastravaganza, in which I followed the Jonas Brothers (and Kevin Sr. and Denise, and Frankie Jonas, and Big Rob, and even Demi Lovato, plus a zillion screaming fans) around New York for two days.

Check out the article (just click le pic below) for more insider info on what it was really like to spend two straight days talking to the Jonas Brothers, hanging out on their tourbus, chasing them on their Segways, eating their food (thanks, guys!), waking them up in the morning, and invading their dressing room.

Then download the entire Fall 2008 issue. Also, extra <3s to editor Kimberly Carrera for putting together this most excellent JB fanzine and to the rest of the Jonas Brothers fans who contribute to the online mag. Seriously, I've seen less-professional for-pay publications on newsstands, but I guess that's my fault for paging through Cat Fancy.