Fat Joe and 50 Cent's beef is approaching Montague vs. Capulet/Hatfield vs. McCoys territory now. Nobody remembers how it started, nobody remembers what it's about and nobody knows when it's going to end. These kind of sieges can be a real drag on the populace, so credit to 50 for having the consideration to at least take some comedic shots at the Terror Squad Don.

In two recent, frankly hilarious postings on ThisIs50.com, Curtis goes all funny-or-die on Fat Joe. In the first episode, 50 Cent is rushed to the hospital after listening to Fat Joe's new album, J.O.S.E. 2. If the overall concept isn't amusing enough, the interpolation of footage from E.R. (Sherry Stringfield!) certainly seals the deal.

In 50's follow-up clip (WARNING: F-BOMB!) a bandaged 50 advises viewers against listening to Fat Joe, lest they suffer a similar fate and/or die. 50 goes on to show a veritable greatest hits of YouTube fails -- including an amateur ninja hitting himself in the face and Young Buck falling off a motorcycle -- as examples of others feeling the effects of Joey Crack's tunes.

This conflict has long passed the point where someone should have stepped in and said, "girls, girls, you're both pretty." But if it keeps producing viral magic like this, then let the beef continue to cook.

The same West London scene that gave birth to Lily Allen, The Clash and pretty much everything British in between (not to mention Ealing, the hometown of Pete Townshend of The Who), has spit out another brilliant band of new-wave shoegazers called White Lies.

Formerly called Fear Of Flying, White Lies is made up of Harry McVeigh (vox, guitar), Charles Cave (bass) and Jack Lawrence-Brown (drums). The moody Brits have already been compared to The Killers, Interpol, Editors and others, but they name Talking Heads as their major influence. Despite all that, their nouveau '80s sound evokes adjectives more than it does band names. Adjectives like "spooky," "haunting" and "sinister." Like the soundtrack to a Donnie Darko sequel with vampires in it. And apparently we're not the only ones who think so, because White Lies just popped up on the massive and amazing Coachella schedule. Know what that means? It means start listening to White Lies NOW before you're officially the last to hear of them. Watch the video for "Death" below!

+ White Lies' self-titled major label debut is out March 23 on The Cure's Fiction Records (home of Kate Nash, Snow Patrol and Yeah Yeah Yeahs).

It is a testament to the power of video and triumphant melodies that it takes two or three listens to realize that Glasvegas' "Geraldine" is about the band's problems and the social worker who helps them deal. No, really. According to British rock journal NME, "Geraldine" is the true story of a big-hearted fan who ditched her do-gooder job to sell Glasvegas merch and offer the band professional mental help on the road. Crazy, huh?

But hey, wait, have you even heard of Glasvegas yet? Just in case: they're a Scottish (Glaswegian, to be exact) four-piece whose self-titled debut hit #2 on the UK charts within a week of its release. Now Glasvegas is up for Album Of The Year in Sweden and album of the moment in the states.

As far as sound goes, think Interpol meets Snow Patrol, and not just because it rhymes. Soaring, searing emotion meets walls of reverb and tidal choruses. Epic stuff. Wait'll you see the light show in the video!

If I had a buck for every time I saw that new "Wii Fit" commercial -- the one with the different people demonstrating all the things you can do when you actually make the quantum leap from sitting on your ass and playing video games to getting OFF your ass while still playing video games -- I'd have enough money to afford an actual "Wii Fit."

The song's called "On Board," and it's by British indie dance-pop outfit Friendly Fires (not to be confused with the Sean Lennon album, Friendly Fire) -- and they feel like the Rapture meets Junior Senior, they've opened for Interpol, and they keep company with labelmates M.I.A. and Radiohead.

Coincidentally, the actual "On Board" video features the band getting actual exercise while dressed like stand-ins from The Royal Tennenbaums and participating in some sort of Idiotarod. It's also basically an American Apparel commercial. They're Bono's favorite band, NME and DrownedInSound are all over them, and now you are too.

You puhrobably already know Tokio Hotel's (R)oc(k)tober mini-tour dates, you probably already have tickets, and those of you on the West Coast (how are things on the West Coast anyway?) probably already have plane tickets/ bus tickets/ new walking shoes for the long hike across the country.

October 24th // Orlando, FL // House of Blues
October 26th // Atlanta, GA // Tabernacle
October 29th // Philadelphia, PA // The Electric Factory
October 30th // New York City, NY // Roseland Ballroom

So, next question, since the shows are thisclose to Halloween (coincidence?), are you dressing up for the show, and if ja, what are you going as? A helicopter pilot? Meijer employee? Nicole Scherzinger?

AND how many bags of Skittles are you bringing? Toilet paper? Bathroom air freshener? A miniature bathtub? Work with me here...

Anyway, enter the T-Mobile Los Premios MTV 2008 Casting Call for a chance to see Tokio Hotel at Los Premios MTV 2008, and watch Tokio Hotel's brand-new tour video announcement, and then watch Interpol's "The Heinrich Maneuver" video (Interpol was one of my pre-Tokio Hotel loves), because I think it's no fairsies that the West Coast got the shaft, even though I know Tokio Hotel <3s L.A.

OMT! Bella! Edward! Jacob! Err... I mean... Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner, respectively, will all be presenting at the 2008 VMAs on Sunday, September 7 in Hollywood.

Now I'm more of a Jacob girl myself (and here's why), so I won't even touch the whole "anyone but him" anti-Robert Pattinson thing. Instead I'm committed to finishing Eclipse. (I'm picking up Breaking Dawn tonight from the bookstore where I dorkily reserved it -- though I guess that's not as dorky as the fact that I bought New Moon the day it came out, even though I was on vacation -- and I damn well aim to finish it on the plane out to L.A. this Tuesday.)

But I digress... The MTV Movies Blog does an Oscar-worthy (or at least Webby!) of covering all things Twilight, but from a musical perspective, I must say that one of my favorite things about author Stephenie Meyer and the pop culture phenomenon she's created is that she's completely into modern pop-rock and alt-rock, and indie.

On her Website, she includes a playlist of songs that inspired her through each novel of her vampire series. And she's even into Jack's Mannequin and very much into My Chemical Romance, Interpol, and Muse, which only results in me adoring her even more.

Anyway, won't you please refer back to the MTV Movies Blog for all of their amazing Twilight material, and then, to celebrate Bella, Edward, and Jacob's bewitching presence at the 2008 VMAs, check out my own personal Stephenie Meyer-sanctioned video from each book.

1.) Twilight, Radiohead, "Creep"

2.) New Moon, Armor For Sleep, "The Truth About Heaven"

3.) Eclipse, The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"

4.) Breaking Dawn, TV on the Radio, "Wolf Like Me"

"This Boy's in Love," by Sydney's the Presets is one of the summer's dirtiest videos for sure. But not dirty in the vintage X-tina-in-assless-chaps way. Just dirty in the "Good God you guys need the Axe effect something serious" way. Like they just dug through the mud from Brisbane to Boston. Like they picked up where the cover of the new Sigur Ros album left off. Or like Devendra Banhart.

But sonically, "This Boy's in Love" is all alarming synths and crisp, clean dance beats, backed by Paul Banks-style you're-yelling-at-me-but-I-like-it vocals. Like electo-indie outfits Cut Copy, the Faint, and M83, Presets play like the soundtrack to a lost John Hughes movie; call it "future retro" if you will. So grab your Ray Bans and tap your Santogold-sanctioned Chuck Taylors along to it since everything old is new again... the past is the future, and the future is now.

+ Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly seeing each other...naked. (E! Online)

+ Meanwhile, Mayer's ex Jessica Simpson may or may not have cheated on her boyfriend Tony Romo with effeminate Scrubs star Zach Braff. (Allie Is Wired)

+ Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz discovers a new way to cash in on his quickie-marriage to Ashlee Simpson. (Dlisted)

+ Franz Ferdinand, Blondie, Interpol and Death Cab for Cutie are among the talented headliners at Latitude, a first-rate music festival that's (sadly!) for U.K. fans only. (Virtual Festivals)

+ If you want to see Madonna in concert, you'd better hurry. Tickets are selling out faster than you can say "Four Minutes." And they wonder why she's called "The Material Girl." (Pollstar)

+ Excited for the 2008 MTV Movie Awards? You should be. Especially now that Coldplay and The Pussycat Dolls are both confirmed performers. (MTV)

The Beastie Boys were fighting for their right to throw down long before the Shop Boyz were partying like rock stars. As the godfathers of sampling, they were chopping and screwing while Pharrell Williams was still in diapers. Reversing drum loops before Timbaland got his first 808. Bigging it up to the booty before Lil Boosie was born; feelin' on females before Sean Kingston existed, and dropping rhymes about loose ladies decades before Nelly Furtado hit her hippie phase. They donned furry suits before Gym Class Heroes' entourage zipped up theirs. Experimented with anime style before Kanye West got "Stronger." Faced east spiritually before Madonna -- whose tour they opened back in 1985 (!!) -- rocked a kimono or started going by "Esther."

Their communication was ill before 50 Cent and Justin were over the games we play with gadgets. They were holdin' it and hittin' it before Jennifer Lopez commanded you to "Hold It, Don't Drop It." Shouting out Brass Monkey years before you ever heard the word "Cristal" pumping out of the windows of a boom car. Read more...