(Credit: Rene Cervantes)

THANK you, America. FINALLY we get to claim a real, honest-to-God, ripped-jeans-ratty-hair-we-drink-and-smoke-cuz-we-don't-care rock band as our own. Australia got The Vines, Arctic Monkeys are British, no one wants to claim Pete Doherty, The Strokes are almost all married and living in Brooklyn now, and Jack White could count, but I don't even think he's from this planet.

Billy Boy On Poison is from the place where America's dreams go to die... No, not Orlando. LOS ANGELES. And their balls-to-the-walls brand of gritty, all-American rock rebellion reeks of their Sunset Strip musical upbringing. In the good way. Appropriately, songs about sinnin' and sexin' are on the agenda of this band that takes their name from A Clockwork Orange.

You may already know that Kiefer Sutherland signed Billy Boy On Poison to his Ironworks Records label and that he co-directed their "On My Way" video -- their single that was also featured on Gossip Girl -- but there are a few more things you may not know about the band. Like did you know they're REALLY INTO HERBAL CIGARETTES? "Jazz cigarettes," I'm assuming. And finally, they're also REALLY into Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers. Harboring a secret soft spot for Disney artists? What's more American than that?

+ Watch "On My Way" after the jump, and check out their debut album, Drama Junkie Queen, out today.

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+ VH-1 reality star and Poison frontman Bret Michaels probably does NOT need to be reminded to "Open Up And Say... Ahh" for a Vicodin cocktail after getting pretty banged up at the Tony Awards last night. He suffered a broken nose and sundry other minor injuries when a piece of the set fell on top of him during the opening act. Get better, Bret! (MTV News)

+ Tons of stars like Rihanna, Adam Levine and his hot tattoos, Zac Efron (meh) and more turned out on Sunday, not just for the Tonys but for the Lakers vs. Magic game in L.A. (Neon Limelight)

+ A Jeff Buckley biopic may be in the works again, with James Franco among the brooding teen heartthrobs interested in the role. Franco is a dead ringer for Buckley, but can he sing?? (The Tripwire)

+ Possibly trying to make up for the debacle that was her Species-esque hairdo at the 2009 Movie Awards, Megan Fox moooooooore than redeemed herself at the premiere of the Transformers sequel in Japan. YOWZA! (Socialite Life)

+ Today's Twitter fight is brought to you by the picture of sobriety Lindsay Lohan and resident hottie Dr. Drew. (PopEater)

+ And speaking of sober sallies, Pete Doherty was holed up in a airplane restroom shooting smack like a pro. (Celebrity Smack)

+ Former Danity Kane member D. Woods provides some terribly blunt revelations about Making The Band and just exactly how real "reality" television is. We applaud her candor. We do not, however, support her new haircut. (Singersroom)

+ Now that Pete Doherty is a Sober Sally, the absolute LAST thing he needs is to be infected with the Swine Flu. NOW GO OUT AND BUY SOME HOG! THE INDUSTRY'S A SUFF'RIN! (Holy Moly)

+ You need to see the trailer for Eminem's new video "3 A.M." It looks like Silent Hill meets a Rob Zombie movie. Pretty creepy (and of course, Em is shirtless). (Rap-Up)

+ As if you needed another reason to head to Austin, TX this year, Pearl Jam and Beastie Boys (along with Dave Matthews Band - meh) are headlining the Austin City Limits Music Festival in October (tix are only $185 for three days.. pretty good for a recesh budgie). Other notables include Lily Allen and John Legend.

+ And here you have it, "the face of digital energy," the official album cover for Black Eyed Peas' "The E.N.D." It's supposed to be a blend of all four band members' faces, but I think it just looks like Fergie after a hard night of drinking, which could explain where her wig went. (Rap-Up)

+ If you're in the market for a creepy Patrick Swayze wax figure (that looks nothing like him but claims to "sport his famous flowing 1980's hairstyle" from Road House), then you have come to the right place! (Live Auctioneers)

The first-best part of Kelly Clarkson's new "I Do Not Hook Up" video? The hilarious country club "Mumsy/ Buffy/ Bitsy" send-off AND the guy who loves the strawberries and shoots the raunchy table-clearing scene on his iPhone.

The next-best part of Kelly Clarkson's new video: The AMAZING Balmain crystal studded sandals, which are so mind-blowingly hot that they're like foreplay in the form of embellished strappy heels.

The actual factual Balmain studded heels that Kelly wears in "I Do Not Hook Up" have also graced the famous feet of Rihanna and Audrina Patridge. And they can grace yours for a breezy $1597.92.

Don't have the equivalent of a monthly mortgage laying around?

Well HELLO, Jeffrey Campbell's Balmain-inspired (wink-wink!) "Mel" heel! For the much-more-recession-friendly price of approximately $169, you can grab a highly similar pair, that is IF you can get your hands on them -- they've been going faster than bags of heroin at Pete Doherty's birthday party. You win at life on Whatapair.com if you're a size 6, 8, or 9. Or, check out Solestruck.com, where you can get on their waiting list. Look at you... All on a waiting list.

Plus:
+ Beyonce in Balmain!
+ Buzzworthy goes to Topshop!
+ See what's in Keri Hilson's handbag!

... And watch "I Do Not Hook Up" after the jump!

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It's all true. You saw it in the header. We are just obsessed with Band Of Skulls over here. Here's why: the Southampton U.K. rockers sound kinda like Blondie having a threesome with Flea and Tony Kiedis (no offense, Chad Smith and John Frusciante) in a White Stripes mosh pit. Whoa. Gross! Sorry! But no, for real, it sounds exactly like that, minus weird kissing noises.

Also heavily present in this snarling Brit rock snakepit is the steel-gargling spirit of Jimi Hendrix, adding a witchy wobble to the sunburnt Jack White guitar crunch. Or wait, do we owe that witchiness to Ms. Emma Richardson, whose throaty vocals make it easy to forget that she's holding the whole ramshackle rock show together on bass? In other words, holy s*** does she wail.

Can we also blame Emma for the album title, Baby Darling Doll Face Honey? Going only by the sound of her voice, I wouldn't be surprised if she was all four. Either way, that title tells me unequivocally that Band Of Skulls are some freewheeling badass joker punks. Right? These freaks are definitely in on Pete Doherty's mission to revive the careless f***-all attitude that Brit-rock lost when Oasis got "better than The Beatles." Listen. Get infected. Band Of Skulls.

+ Miley Cyrus got picked up by her hair extensions and hung out to dry by your friendly neighborhood killjoys Radiohead after some semi-self-important remarks she made at The Grammys.  It was funny when it happened to Kanye.  But Miley?  She's just a little girl!  Tryin' to make it in this world! (MTV News)

+ Most shocking news on this Freaky Friday:  Howard K. Stern was finally arrested for drugging up my personal guardian angel and muse Anna Nicole Smith with heaping gobs of methadone.  Finally -- from the dead, she's getting her sweet revenge for this!! (TMZ)

+ Queen Madge paid Brit-Brit a surprise visit at Nassau Coliseum last night for the fifth stop on her current Circus tour. I'm going to the show in Newark, NJ tonight so... deep breath and fingers crossed that Rev. Run will stop by. (Rock & Roll Daily)

+ P.S. is Britney back to dating white guys??? (Pink Is The New Blog)

+ J.Lo channels Nancy Drew?  What happened??? (D Listed)

+ Just because Kelly Clarkson miiiiight need a little styling assistance does NOT mean she is prego.  She doesn't have anything on me after I hit up a Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme! And if it's a Taco Bell/KFC Combo store, forgetaboutit. (NY Daily News)

+ I have just been completely sidelined with the news that Pete Doherty "plans to stay single." (Gabby Babble)

+ Beyonce's still trying to convince everyone that Jay-Z was the first guy who got her feeling all "Crazy In Love." (HipHopRX)

+ Kelly Clarkson pees in the shower. And so do you. (Blender)

+ Why (the hell?) did Diddy host Rihanna and Chris Brown at his place in Miami? Because he's all "Wah! It's my house and I can have whoever I want over! I can do what I want when I want! It's my house! Because I said so! That's why!" Well, that's not exactly a direct quote, but that's basically what he told Ellen. (Radar)

+ More Chris Brown (boooo!) news: Despite his nominations, sources say he does not plan to attend the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards on March 28. (People)

+ Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams got married! Sorry ladies! (Hollyscoop)

+ Pop quiz: Is this Agatha Ruiz de La Prada's Fall 2009 Milan Fashion Week show, or Katy Perry's closet on parade? (Coutorture)

+ Starving yourself is SOOOO passe. So here's an easier, less taxing way you can look like Lindsay Lohan. (Pretty Boring)

+ Speaking of, Nicole Scherzinger, ZOMG! What happened, girlfriend? (ONTD)

+ Pete Doherty took a trip. This time on a bus! (The Rad Report)

+ Happy (/sad) Nick Jonas diabetes day. :<  (JonasHQ)

+ It looks like Sublime... It sounds like Sublime... But is it the wrong way? (Tripwire)

+ If you seek photos of Britney in her blue bikini, then here they are. (JustJared)

The cops are after A Day To Remember, and if that's not enough to make you wanna listen to them, then how in the world is Pete Doherty so famous? Because Babyshambles is really good? Errrm...

Based out of Ocala, Florida, A Day To Remember play a mash of metal, hardcore, emo and whatever else you got. They call it "pop mosh." Catchy, eh? They built their traveling riot from the ground up, financing their first EP themselves, grabbing strangers by their collars and screaming in their faces until those strangers became fans. Now they're on the road with The Devil Wears Prada and Sky Eats Airplane, among many others, gearing up for a summer on the Warped Tour.

In the brand-new video for "The Downfall Of Us All," A Day To Remember rub a squad of om-nomming donut-loving cops the wrong way and spend a good chunk of the video running their asses off. See how it all goes down -- so conveniently! -- right here:

+ A Charlie's Angels 3 producer says she'd love for Rihanna to join the feathered-hair trio this time around. Meanwhile, Drew Barrymore claims she's more interested in having a foursome with Penelope Cruz. (Wambie)

+ Paris Hilton and Scarlett Johansson aren't the only celebs who decided to try their hand at "singing." Relive the train wreck-y amazingness of Eddie Murphy's high-pitched warbling with this collection of actors who shouldn't quit their day jobs. (Details Blog)

+ And speaking of crossover ventures, singer/ glittery princess Taylor Swift has announced that she'll be launching her own Wal-Mart clothing line (a la Olsens!). (LimeLife)

+ Audrina Patridge says she and Justin Bobby have called it quits! Again! Hey, wonder if this means she's taken off that saliva-drenched promise ring once and for all... (Remote Control)

+ Biggie Smalls' mom refuses to let her feud with Lil' Kim die down. Her latest message for the once-incarcerated rapper? "Tell [Kim] to find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life." (MTV News)

+ Since getting dumped by Kate Moss, Pete Doherty has stayed true to himself and his goals of going through life... as a crazy cat person who enjoys writing on the walls (like Will Hunting, except in blood!) and long walks on the beach drinking. (Scandalist)

+ President Barack Obama busts a move to Beyonce's "Single Ladies," but refuses to don Justin Timberlake's stretch leotard. (MTV News)

+ Meanwhile, Macy Gray denies (self-perpetuated?) rumors that she is in love with Barack and wants to go all Single Black Female on Michelle. (OMG! Yahoo)

+ Jessica Simpson steps out in public, pretends Everyone In The World isn't mentally obsessing about her BMI. (Usmagazine)

+ Although tabloid talking heads continue to cite irrefutable evidence of a Madonna/A-Rod affair (She's attended baseball games! They've occasionally been in the same room!) the Material Girl denies that she's been rounding the bases with the Yankees' slugger. Or having any marital problems whatsoever. (The Today Show via Red Lasso)

+ 50 Cent totally underplays the projected success of his next solo album. (MTV)

+ Usually, when people say they put his own sweat, blood in tears into their work, they're being metaphorical. But not Pete Doherty! (NME)

+ And speaking of crazy, it's official: Amy Winehouse's North London flat is as dirty as her unwashed beehive. (Rolling Stone)

+ Phish sort-of reunites, much to the delight of their Birkenstock-wearing, hashish-smoking, Visine-dropping fans. And their kids. (Billboard)

+ Meanwhile, Jay-Z says he's be willing to work with...anyone. "Even Oasis." Which is sort of like saying he's as likely to collaborate with Noel Gallagher as he is with Celine Dion. (MTV)

+ Perez celebrated his independence with a body-pos video in which he dances to the Jonas Brothers. (Perez Hilton)