Britney Spears cements her place in "X Factor" history. (Ba-DUM)
Apparently, "The X Factor" is a talent competition in which singing hopefuls from across the country audition in front of judges in an effort to make their dreams come true.
But what I saw on my screen last night during the "X Factor" premiere was a no-holds-barred Stan session devoted to the pop industry's most free-of-all-flaw goddess of all time: the legendary Miss Britney Spears, who delivered sass, shade, sassy shade, shady sass, sympathetic sighs, side-claps, snackin' and bucket loads upon bucket loads of legendary Spearitual iconicness. (Also, there was some singing by other people or something.)
Obviously, every single moment that Britney appeared, mentioned, or merely could have appeared onscreen deserves a mention, but I've got to go with the very best of the B. And so, here's a little roundup of all of the deliciously memorable moments from Britney's first night on "The X Factor." That's right, y'all -- IT'S BRITNEY ON "THE X FACTOR," BITCH! (And Demi!)
1.) Ooh Ooh Baby: Britney, generally speaking, could not be bothered with approximately 97-100 percent of the contestants that walked onto that stage last night -- except during the first audition. When contestant Paige Thomas, a single mother, brought her adorable little girl Jade out onstage for her audition, Britney shot straight up into full-on mommy mode: WAVING. GIGGLING. BEAMING. COOING. And then -- Jade smiled and waved back! D'AWWWWW! By the end, the entire audience was on their feet cheering, while I was on the ground, melted into a puddle of rainbows, glitter and ponies. Cuteney. Overload.
2.) Oh, the Shadeney of it all!: No less than 20 minutes into the episode, and "X Factor" already serving us a healthy, heaving helping of brutally honest Critiqueney: "No." "No, sorry." "You're off-key." "That was bad." "I don't think you're right for this show." "No." "No." "No." "No." (It's Britney, bitch!) OUCH. Harsh? Maybe. But as any loyal Britney Stan would tell you, she's not being mean -- it's just constructive criticism!
Check out more of our favorite Britney moments from the premiere of "The X Factor" after the jump!