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NICK AND JOE JONAS SHOW OFF THEIR BEACH BODIES (OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!)

Posted 4/22/11 11:31 am EST by in Celebrity, Photos

There are clearly reasons we feel :O writing this. Maybe because we still think of Nick and Joe Jonas as kids (which they are not!). I don't know. But Joe and Nick Jonas were spotted on the beach in Hawaii, shirtless, and OMGGGGGGGGGGG YOU GUYYYYYYYZ!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1!  *Swoon* *pant* *faint* *THUD!*

(Just fainted.)

(...)

(...Ok, we're back!)

Usually, men take their shirts off at the beach, and onlookers are often pleased if those men are attractive or built nicely because, hey, good for you and everyone else, right? That's how the world works. But if you're international heartthrobs like the JoBros. are, and you are very, very, very attractive and SUPER buff, it's likely that mortals like us will temporarily go blind, lose our minds, pick up the pieces, lose our minds again and then try to momentarily decompress before we cast our eyes on such a beautiful sight once again. Granted, both brothers are absolutely legal young adults, so it's not like we're CREEPY or anything. We're just big fans. Big, big, big, big fans. You know, we wouldn't even protest if Nick was cast as Spider-Man or The Incredible Hulk or Superman. Sure, he may have only played himself in Disney movies, but we're sure he'd do a skintight bodysuit justice. He's already been in "Les Miserables." Why couldn't he conquer Broadway in the lead role of "Spider-Man"? Right? Just imagine that costume...

Uh oh, here it comes again...

*THUD!*

Credit: Splash News

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Star Spotting: Ke$ha Goes To Disney World, Too

Posted 4/22/11 10:01 am EST by in Celebrity, Photos

Credit: Splash News

First, Lady Gaga poses with the Evil Queen. Then, Beyoncé is spotted wearing a Goofy hat (with the floppy ears, buck teeth and the whole nine yards). And now we can include Ke$ha as the latest singer to show up to the Happiest Place on Earth, getting in some cuddle time with The White Rabbit from "Alice In Wonderland." She even dressed down for the occasion, trading in her signature facial glitter and tattered stockings everything for a black baby doll dress and hot pink kicks. She probably just didn't want to scare the kids -- there's already enough of that at the creepy Captain EO exhibit (R.I.P. M.J.).

What's up with all these famous singers visiting Disney? Is it possible that Mickey Mouse is trying to turn a corner by inviting some of the world's most colorful female performers to liven up the grounds a little bit? As much as we love to visit Disney, Epcot is essentially a peek into the future circa 1980 ("Buttons! Knobs! VIDEO TELEPHONES!"), and we doubt anyone is necessarily rushing to get their picture taken with Mulan. So it actually makes sense to bring in some new blood, especially when the blood is seasoned with chart-topping hits and a more loyal following than Donald Duck (although he tends to wear pants less often than Gaga, so go figure).

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Star Spotting: Beyonce Wears A Generally Unflattering Goofy Hat And Still Pulls It Off

Posted 4/21/11 5:03 pm EST by in Celebrity, Photos

It's not fair when people are so attractive that they can make stupid clothes look really nice. For example, Beyonce went to Disneyland in Paris, and she was photographed wearing not just a goofy hat, but a Goofy hat. With the floppy ears and everything! The thing even has two buck teeth hanging from the rim. And somehow, while it would look perfectly reasonable on the head of somebody's slovenly stepdad in camouflaged cargo shorts, it looks -- dare we say? -- hot on Beyonce. She makes a Goofy hat hot.

Maybe it's that element of ironic detachment that gives it a sort of hipster flair, or maybe we're just being apologetic for no reason. Because, seriously, she looks gorgeous. Like, how does she do that? Is Beyonce an alien? Is that how she does it? Do you guys think she has alien blood running through her alien veins, and that's why she can make THE GOOFY HAT look like a must-have accessory? Are fashion magazines going to start shilling high-end visors now because Beyonce is a perfect alien?

Just a theory.

Credit: Getty Images

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We HAVE To Say Something About Simon Van Kempen's 'Song'... Even If You Don't Know Who He Is

Posted 4/21/11 4:19 pm EST by in Celebrity, Music

Credit: Getty Images

Welcome to 2011. We live in a weird world now. Teenagers can pay people to pen entire songs and film music videos for them. Whether or not they have talent to acquire fame and your hard-earned money is officially irrelevant. There have always been people famous for things that shouldn't make someone famous. But because "The Real Housewives" is a successful reality TV franchise on Bravo, a lot of people are now familiar with ladies who are on TV because they are wealthy, wear jewel tones and jewels, and incite fights over, like, tablescapes. That's just how it is: If you are loud enough and can cause enough fights (or, in reality television's term of choice, "drama"), you, too, can become a "Bravolebrity," or a maniacally self-important person whose own maniacal self-importance can translate into good ratings and the chance to turn the clock back on feminism by about 30 years.

If you're Simon Van Kempen, you're a hotelier turned social media guy, whose wife Alex is on the show "The Real Housewives of New York City"/ Brooklyn. You don't mind wearing sequined rainbow shrugs or striped pants.

Also, If you're Simon Van Kampen, you take a cue from your wife's castmate, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, who recorded a "song" in which she "sang" about having class, which is a theme that runs through every "Housewives" franchise. The Countess took it seriously, thinking she was a real singer, which is unfortunate, not just because it perpetuates terrible things for terrible people (and further curbs our chance to discover musicians with actual talent), but because it made Simon think that he, too, could -- and should -- record a song.

That song is now a reality. It's called "I Am Real," and in it, Simon opines about "being a celebrity," name-checks Twitter and uses catchphrases that haven't even aired on the show yet do appear on his T-shirt. Simon sings, "I am real, I ain't gonna change/I am real, I am who I am, and that's the deal." OK, we get it, dude. You're doing you. Cool. However, exactly who is trying to "change" you? Why do you defending your authenticity? That's something that Destiny's Child did, like, 11 years ago. You don't need to do that. Give your stripy pants back to Jamiroquai, and maybe... stop making songs.

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WATCH Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo, Blake Shelton And Adam Levine Go 'Crazy'

Posted 4/21/11 2:45 pm EST by in Celebrity, Music, Videos

Credit: NBC

If you're going to judge a vocal competition like "The Voice," you'd better be good at your job. Needless to say, Adam Levine, Cee Lo, Blake Shelton and Christina Aguilera are all pretty good at what they do. And now they're all laying their cards out as judges on the new NBC show "The Voice," where they'll coach singers and crown a talented contestant with the ultimate title of The Voice (not to mention a whopping $100,000). The catch here, however, is that, initially, their backs will be turned to contestants, so their votes will be based solely on vocal prowess.

Of course, Christina, Blake, Adam and Cee Lo all look extremely different from one another (what we would give to see Christina and Cee Lo exchange wardrobe, just for a day), but each has one thing in common (aside from being famous): voice. (Get it??) This preview of the motley crue joining forces to cover "Crazy" (which Cee Lo originated with Danger Mouse as half of the pop outfit Gnarls Barkley) is nothing short of... well... weird. It's weird. And yet... we can't stop watching.

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PHOTO: Adam Lambert Has A Goatee (Holy S***!)

Posted 4/21/11 12:45 pm EST by in Celebrity, Photos

Credit: Getty Images

*Rubs eyes*
*Stares*
*Rubs eyes again*

Um, so this is happening: Adam Lambert has grown a goatee? And it looks... huh??? This is a very, very rare sartorial misstep for "Glambert," as he has been called for "coming out of the gate" -- as Randy Jackson surely put it at one time or another on "American Idol" -- a sort of sexual unicorn prince, all big hair, platform boots and black eyeliner (oh, and killer pipes, too). And even if he hadn't looked like the lovechild of Lady Gaga and Steven Tyler, his voice, alone, could pierce your TV screen in two.

But wha' happened? Dude showed up at opening night of the new Broadway musical Sister Act sporting a beard that seems really out of bounds for a dude who has -- until now -- wowed his fans with a sort of goth-goes-motocross vibe that matches his equally flamboyant Scissor Sisters-meets-Judas Priest sound. But all of a sudden, there's this weird patch of hair on his chin that makes 100 percent no sense whatsoever. Maybe he, like, lost a bet or something? Whaddawe want from you, Adam? Maybe your old face back!!?

Oh, actually, you know what? Although the subject in the photo is listed as "Adam Lambert," we're just going to pretend it's Siegfried. Or Roy. Yeah, it's one of them. There we go. That feels better. FETCH THE TIGERS! Adam! ARE YOU UNDER THERE? UNDER THAT BEARD SOMEWHERE?

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Star Spotting: Mandy Moore Is The Hottest Cat Lady We've Ever Seen

Posted 4/21/11 10:12 am EST by in Celebrity, Photos

Credit: Getty Images

Mandy Moore is perfect. Here's why: She initially blossomed as a pop singer during the same time as Britney, Christina and Jessica Simpson. And while her music was good (the Wade Robson remix of "Candy" is an iPod staple), it never necessarily made a dent the way Britney and Christina did. So Mandy, in moving on from her moderately successful bubblegum pop career followed her own path, so to speak, eventually releasing an album called Coverage, in which she covered classic songs by singer/songwriters (i.e. Joni Mitchell, Carole King) and groups you would never expect to hear Mandy sing (i.e. XTC, Blondie), but she did because she's very smart and has excellent taste (and is also married to Ryan Adams, who is awesome). Also, if you meant to buy any album today, it should be her Amanda Leigh album. Simply gorgeous. She also revved up her acting career by carving out a niche as an equally talented actress, finding enormous success in movies like A Walk To Remember and -- most recently -- Tangled.

BUT Mandy Moore is also perfect because she loves kittens, evidenced by her appearance at the animal health care awareness program launch for the ASPCA in New York City on Wednesday. Literally, she can do anything she wants. It's almost unfair that one person should be so blessed with both looks and talent, but whateverrrr. Mandy has earned it (as would anyone who managed to crawl out of her teenybopper superstardom unscathed and better for it).

You just keep doing you, Mandy! Hold more kittens!

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Star Spotting: Willow Smith Visits Hawaii, Whips Hair Back And Forth

Posted 4/20/11 6:30 pm EST by in Celebrity, Photos

Credit: Splash News

Willow Smith was spotted in Hawaii doing -- what else? -- whipping her hair back and forth. Will and Jada's pint-sized singer and rapper (and brother to "Karate Kid" Jaden) wore a wetsuit (a cute one, of course) on a beach in Oahu, where she kept her promise about how she treats her braided hair, while simultaneously remaining an adorable "21st Century Girl."

Willow could stand to take a break on the sandy white beaches since she just wrapped up a gig opening for old-timer Justin Bieber, who was probably able to show Willow a thing or two about the music biz, considering he's got almost eight years on her. That's an entire Paula Cole in Music Industry Years.

The tiniest Smith's got bigger fish to fry, of course, as she's headed to The White House (the real thing, not a club) to perform at the annual Easter Egg Roll. According to Celebuzz, Willow Smith was personally invited by President Obama and the First Lady (alongside Colbie Caillat and Greyson Chance). Our invite must've gotten lost in the mail.

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New Song: David Cook, 'The Last Goodbye'

Posted 4/20/11 5:42 pm EST by in Celebrity, Music

Credit: Getty Images

When he beat out the precious David Archuleta to win the seventh season of "American Idol," David Cook momentarily proved that the show isn't necessarily fueled exclusively by puppy-dog-cute pop singers (although Cook isn't necessarily hard on the eyes, either). Unlike some other Idols, David has fared quite well as a rock singer -- his last album went platinum, and he's toured steadily -- even coming out of the same show that begat Sanjaya.

Now David Cook's returned with a second major-label album, This Loud Morning, featuring a new song called "The Last Goodbye." It's an instantly catchy, guitar-driven lamentation on love lost, with a drop of ornamental electro elements thrown in for good measure. And oh those "woah oh ohs." For the most part, though, the up-tempo slice of Americana brings to mind Angels & Airwaves and fellow "Idol" Kelly Clarkson.

We're used to "David Cook: Rock Star" sounding a bit more brooding with slower songs that fall into the soft rock arena, so it's pretty cool to hear something a little more fast-paced from the guy. It's definitely a contender for being one of the biggest rock songs of the summer, perfect for riding around with the top down.

What do you think of David's new song? Let us know in the comments!

+ Listen to David Cook's new song, "The Last Goodbye."

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Russell Brand And Katy Perry Are The OTHER Royal Couple

Posted 4/20/11 2:03 pm EST by in Celebrity, Music, Photos

Credit: Getty Images

In a few days, Prince William will be marrying Kate Middleton, and the world is really excited about that. Not just because they're royals, but because PEOPLE LOVE FANCY WEDDINGS! We get it: How often in our lifetime do we get to witness the nuptials of people who are actual royalty? Bows and curtsies and crowns and all.

Meanwhile, we like to think there's another royal couple across the pond, but only one-half is a native of England. British comic/actor Russell Brand and California "gurl" Katy Perry are basically a sort of bizarro version of William and Kate. In one sense, they're more secretive, considering we only heard about Russell and Katy's wedding, which took place in Northern India (it included a "Bollywood-themed bash"). Nary an image of their wedding was released to the world, save for the projection Katy revealed at the Grammys. Whereas... the entire world will be watching William and Kate tie the knot, so consider that a point for Katy and Russell in the privacy department.

Also, William and Kate are always dressed up casual-fancy because, you know, they probably wear crowns and tiaras and fascinators and khakis as a rule. Russell, however, tends to dress like a hyperactive extra from the set of "A Clockwork Orange" crossed with a yogi, and Katy's usually dressed like a vintage pinup or basically in any outfit that includes every single color of the rainbow.

Last night, however, Katy and Russell showed up in London at the premiere of Russell's newest movie, Arthur. He looked unusually tame in a super-stylish suit and skinny tie, as did Katy Perry, who wore an understated flesh-toned, sheer sheath. Russell and Katy can seamlessly "class it up" like the real royal couple whenever they want. That said, we still love Katy and Russell in lollipops, cupcakes and swearwords.

Related Content PHOTO GALLERY: Katy Perry's Best Costumes!, Watch Katy Perry Videos

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