Question: Have you ever worn a harness and NOT gotten a wedgie?
Beyoncé doesn't need to prove that she always looks great on life-threatening apparatuses. After all, she's looked flawless (and decidedly unafraid) while riding not one, but TWO roller coasters. And now? Bey's miraculously avoiding looking like a total wedgie-prone geek while in a full body harness and helmet! Presumably pre-ziplining? Or perhaps climbing a mountain that we assume is called "Mount IAmAGoddess"?
In between flaunting her riDICK bikini body and hanging with Solange on a family trip to Jamaica, Bey posted photo of herself stylishly strapped into a harness and posing as if she were about to engage in some questionably daredevil behavior. Again, it's unclear exactly what kind of death-defying activity requires a harness and helmet for protection, but whatever it was, we're sure Bey looked like a graceful, lithe, angel while doing it.
Last thing: Can we give a round of props to Queen Bey for rocking red lips during a presumably sporty activity? Because the only thing I'd be rocking with my all-jean-everything/makeup in the warm Jamaican climate is a sweat moustache.
Photo credit: Beyonce's Tumblr
R. Kelly is literally playing a lady like a violin. We are NOT surprised.
We always knew R. Kelly was capable of playing a lady like an instrument (EUPHEMISM INTENDED). But, like, literally playing a real human lady like an instrument? As in, the cover of his Black Panties cover art? Yep, he can do that too!
That's right, R. Kelly Stans: Your boi just went and staged a full-scale, live reenactment of his epic Black Panties cover art last night on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." Like, he literally spent a good 15 seconds strumming a pretty lady's ribcage with a violin bow. That takes #TALENT.
Watch R. Kelly perform "Genius" and "My Story" on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" after the jump.
All dance moves look better when done shirtless, non?
UMMM, so we're noticing a trend here, guys? When Justin Bieber's about to do something difficult, he'll take off his shirt to distract himself -- and us! Remember Justin's shirtless tattoo endeavors? Well, now bro-bro is going sans top during an arduous dance rehearsal. (Fine, so lots of people go half-nakey when they're gettin' physical. But whatevs! We're bringing you legal, shirtless Bieber photos on the regs, so just be happy.)
Justin took to Instagram to share a video of himself nailing his very
sexual difficult dance routine, captioning: "#confident comes out Sunday at midnight." "Confident" featuring Chance The Rapper, BTW, is the final #MusicMondays installment, and this video is just part of a series of Instagram posts, revealing the new track.
Watch Justin Bieber's shirtless dance rehearsal video after the jump.
DJ Cassidy, Robin Thicke, and Jessie J's "Calling All Hearts" is about as disco as disco gets.
UMMM, can we take a second to give it up for DJ Cassidy, Jessie J, and Robin Thicke and their SUPER-throwback banger, "Calling All Hearts"? This is no vague retro pop song throwback; "Calling All Hearts" is a straight disco, all-'70s-everything jam that sounds like something Chloe Sevigny would've danced to in "The Last Days Of Disco." Or John Travolta pointing his finger at stuff in "Saturday Night Fever."
Listen to DJ Cassidy's "Calling All Hearts" featuring Jessie J and Robin Thicke after the jump.
If The Vamps' video doesn't make you smile, then you might need to go on life support.
Hooray, the Boy Band era has returned! I mean, the landscape is pretty full right now, what with The Wanted and One Direction exploding on both continents, but we urge you to make room in your heart for just one more British boy band: The Vamps.
And if you DO decide to take The Vamps under your boy-band wing, you'd better do it fast: Judging from the bros' hooky, stomp-clappy, vaguely Mumford-y new record, "Wild Heart," we wouldn't be surprised if they, too, exploded in, oh, the next week.
Watch The Vamps' "Wild Heart" video after the jump.
This preview of Justin Bieber as a daddy is TOO MUCH!!
We tend to feel mildly concerned when we post photos of Justin Bieber with babies. (Hell, we're terrified to even mention the word "daddy" in the same sentence as "The Biebs.")
So just to clarify, the baby Justin is lovingly cradling in the above photo is NOT HIS OWN! The only reason we're even using the word "daddy" in this context is because Justin holding a baby is giving us some major daddy vibes!
Posing with an adorable newborn like a successful politician does on the campaign trail, Justin took to Instagram to share the above photo with his Instagram followers, captioning: "Innocence."
Anyway, fine -- we know Justin's still in his youthful prime, and he's not even thinking about daddy-hood. Like, to even CONSIDER becoming a dad when he's knee-deep in those "All That Matters" make-outs and the PDA-filled "PYD" just seems plain irresponsible!
That said, we're still allowed to gush over the Biebs posing as a future daddy, right? I mean, the man's got "cradling arms" if we've ever seen 'em.
Photo credit: Justin Bieber's Instagram
A man and his grill, a romance for the ages...
If only a man and his grill could truly fall in love, we think that Macklemore and his sparkly new mouthpiece miiiiiight just be in the running for most romantic man-on-metal partnership of all time!
The Seattle-based rapper recently took to Instagram to show the #SharkFaceGang his new grill, and, well, we'll let the emotional caption speak for itself: "Shout out to my H-Town connect @tvjohnny & @cstonethebreadwinner for my new teef! I've lost many grills in the past 8 years. Not loosing these." Awww, that's like the equivalent of that tragically beautiful scene in "Titanic" where Rose whispers to a freezing cold Leo: "I'll never let go, Jack." #TEARS
But wait, considering this isn't Mack's first time at the mouth candy rodeo -- remember the "White Walls" rapper's other grill in November -- does that mean that the others got lost somewhere between Macklemore's fully "West Wing"-style blackout at the White House and winning the 2013 AMA for Favorite Rap/ Hip-Hop Album? Ungh, that just makes his affection for this NEW grill all the more emotional! NEVER LET GO, MACK!! NEVER LET GO.
Photo credit: Macklemore's Instagram
DJ Earworm's mashup is literally the mixtape of our wildest dreams!
Thanksgivvukah has come and gone, Hanukkah is in full swing, and Christmas is right around the corner. So, aside from the "holiday 15" weight gain, useless gift socks, and super-trashy New Year's Eve plans, that means it's also time for the annual end-of-the-year mashups! You know, that special time when the world's top DJs release massive musical Frankensteins composed of the year's most impressive pop tracks!
So, who's killing the mashup game this year? As you might've suspected, the absurdly talented DJ Earworm (he brought us this piece of pop music gold around this time last year) is currently in full mashup slay-age mode. Plus, there's also Daniel Kim, whose "Pop Danthology" includes a whopping 68 (!) of the best and brightest pop songs of 2013. Oh, and let's not forget about Mashup-Germany, who miraculously found a way to mix Katy Perry's "Roar" with Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty To Me." CONSIDER OUR MINDS BLOWN!
Listen to DJ Earworm's "United State Of Pop 2013 (Living The Fantasy)," Daniel Kim's "Pop Danthology," and Mashup-Germany's year-end mix after the jump.
Lorde pals around with a bunch of rowdy teens in her new clip.
Like something out of our wildest, most hauntingly non-narrative teenage dreams, Lorde's "Team" video is rife with the Kiwi queen prodigy's favorite subject: YOUTH REBELLION!!!! There's also a lot of thematic imagery related to "supporting the underdog." Oh, and wearing vintage clothes, gothic updos, and dark lipstick.
Watch Lorde's "Team" video after the jump.
John and Katy win at coupledom at the "Who You Love" cover shoot.
UMMMM, is this even real? Isn't there some law of physics that states that if two people in a relationship are too attractive and have too much chemistry, they might spontaneously combust? Because if so, then we all need to pray for the safety of Katy Perry and John Mayer -- aka #JATY! I mean, would you just look at the million degrees of SMOLDER happening in the pair's "Who You Love" single cover art? Just like, we cannot. We are OVER. BYE!!!!
Go behind-the-scenes of Katy Perry and John Mayer's single cover shoot, and listen to "Who You Love" after the jump.