+ We’ll bypass the low-hanging fruit that is the “no, no, no,” intro and go straight for the drug jokes — San Francisco, fire up your bong/pipe/t-shirt gun filled with grain alcohol, and gird your loins, because Amy Winehouse is coming to town. (Hollywood Backwash)

+ Britney forgets she’s famous and roams Bally’s in a towel. Oddly enough, she’s almost completely covered. Progress! (Seriously OMG!)

+ Did Lucy Walsh out Ashlee Simpson? (Remote Control)

+ Hilary Duff goes goth for her new movie, War Inc. and passes on that 90210 remake. (Popoholic)

+ Nick Cannon has no idea what you’re talking about. Or why Mariah’s got a new rock the size of a tractor wheel. (MTV News)

+ Rihanna even looks hot standing on a pile of dead sea grass. (The Blemish)

+ Chris Crocker has a speshul message for Perez. Now you girls play nice! (Evil Beet)

+ Vampire Weekend has unofficially graduated from buzz band to “normal band.” (AP)

+ Coldplay makes like RHCP (and Miley Cyrus!) and gives it away — their first single, that is. (Mr. Paparazzi)

… Speaking of which… Anthony Kiedis painted Tin Man-silver is the heat.

+ Madonna broke her own record when “4 Minutes” became her 13th No. 1 hit in the UK. Unfortunately that accent persists. (Times Online)

+ Clay Aiken broke his personal own record for worst hair ever. Please, Claymates, ban together to stop the travesty that is butt-cut blow out! (TMZ)

+ Heathens, the Pope was in New York this past weekend, and Kelly Clarkson sang like an angel. Pope was moved. In his own way. (Pop on the Pop)

+ Amy Winehouse’s incarcerated husband is apparently trading nekkid pics of Amy for drugs. Silly Blake. Don’t you know those photos probably contain as much trace crack as the crack you’re trading them for? (Fametastic)

+ Are Kanye and Alexis over? Celebitchy and MTV Newsroom blog think so.

+ Danity Kane’s Aubrey O’Day appears to be rising out of a giant cupcake. Awesome. (Us)

+ Are Diddy and Kim back on? Again?? (Lainey Gossip)

+ Miley Cyrus took off most of her clothes. (Again??) We are bored. (MTV)

+ Concreteloop previews hipster-pop soloist/Fader fave/ Bud shiller Santogold’s self-titled album, which drops April 29th. Watch Santogold here.

+ Pregnancy(or not) aside, Ashlee Simpson likes barbecue. OMG! WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON! (We are not pregnant, however, in case you’re reading this, Mom. We do love barbecue, though.) (People)

+ Amy Winehouse’s next album may be on hold. Which would probably be the least of her problems. (Dlisted)

+ Speaking of Amy Winehouse, Duffy is Dolce & Gabanna’s new muse, dahling. Next stop — PEOPLE’S REVOLUTION! (Mirror)

+ Hi! We’re t.A.T.u! Remember us? Here’s what we look like now! Next stop: SOFT-CORE PORN! (ONTD)

+ Hi! I’m Bill Cosby! (Remember me?) I’m 70 years old. I used to be cool and wear Coogi and push Pudding Pops, but these days I’m pretty pissed. Anyway, I’m purportedly releasing a hip-hop album. Because I’m the Mack Granddaddy. Flismflasm! (Holy Moly)

+ Is Beyonce retiring from recording to scout talent for her husband? Wait, Beyonce and Jay-Z are a couple, right? (NY Daily News)

+ OHHHHH my blog. Pretty On the Outside reimagines Pete Wentz as The Pregnant Man.

+ Is Britney releasing “explosive” home videos chronicling the past six months of her life? We hope not. (And we also hope YES!) (Female First)

+ Amy Winehouse is not Met material. (NY Mag)

+ Christina Milian is “overexposed.” (The Bastardly)

+ Perez sez: Mariah and… Nick Cannon??? Uhh… Really?

+ Miley Cyrus and her dad are BFFFAE. (ICYDK)

+ Someone on Rock the Cradle put the hurt on their dressing room. Tsk tsk! (Remote Control)

+ Got four, if not more, minutes? Write a four-line poem for a chance to win two tickets to see Madonna from VH1. Here’s ours:

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

(Don’t steal that!)

+ Relevant video we just remembered: Christina Milian, “Dip It Low.”

+ We care about who wins American Idol, but we really care about who wins the Edy’s American Idol competition. (Seriously. No one even gave us free s— to write that.) Our vote: Mint Karaoke Cookie. If only they’d do a total-stoner mash-up with Breyers Bubble Yum Ice Cream.

+ Jordin Sparks might not care who wins Idol. (Pop Justice)

+ Amy Winehouse: boozin’ with baby! (A Socialite’s Life)

+ John Mayer, your body may indeed be a wonderland, but that sleeve has Punk’d Pop Fiction inked all over it. (Try JM)

+ Sara Bareilles outshines Justin Timberlake at the 2008 ASCAP Pop Awards. (MTV)

+ Pete Doherty does drag. Unfortunately. (Agent Bedhead)

+ Avril gets a front massage. Also unfortunately. (Webster’s Is My Bitch)

+ Jermaine Dupri’s new record label will smell like Axe Body Spray. (Also also unfortunately.) (Hip-Hop Music)

+ $56 will get you a year-long subscription to All Mariah magazine.

+ Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are still together. (Jessica and Nick are not.)

+ Pete Wentz is denying that Ashlee’s pregnant. Though… he never really DID deny it when we talked to him about it. (Side note: why does no one seem to care about Jody Sweetin’s new baby?) Meanwhile, is it weird that if we had to pick a celebrity to knock us up, we’d choose Russell Brand? (Celeblite)

We’re about to bizounce, but before we go, check up on some Friday night pop bites — it’s like those 100-calorie packages of chips, except it’s gossip! And way more satisfying!

+ Does Amy Winehouse really still look like this? (Seriously? OMG)

+ ElleGirl.com hooked up with Cobra Starship backstage at TRL.

+ MTV News Idol recap: Michael Johns gets served, American Idol style!

+ Devendra Banhart and (next-gen Winona Ryder) Natalie Portman look uncomfortably comfortable. (I Guess I’m Floating)

+ Jonas Brothers continue to look simultaneously cute. Internet continues to take note. (Fred Flare)

+ Papa Joe Simpson welcomes Pete Wentz into the fam with matching slatted Kanye glasses. (Evil Beet)

+ Chris Brown and Rihanna continue to deny, deny, deny. (Page Six)

+ Se habla Español, Coldplay? (Pop On the Pop)

+ Fergie en Español? ¡Claro! (Blogamole)

+ Ne-Yo should probably spray that table down before dinner. (Webster’s Is My Bitch)

+ We saw Gnarls Barkley last night at Highline Ballroom and took the crappiest photo ever (thanks, Razr). If you squint, you can almost tell that’s them:

… Fortunately RollingStone.com took much better photos and reviewed the show too.

Comparisons between Amy Winehouse and 24-year-old Welsh singer-songwriter Duffy go together like Velveeta and shell mac. But Amy Winehouse’s horn-flanked Mark Ronson productions are intentionally post-modern. However, watch Duffy’s “Mercy” video with your eyes closed, and you might actually mistake that voice for Aretha Franklin’s. Open them, and you’ve got a Dusty Springfield dead ringer. We’re hooked.

Watch her brand-new “Mercy” video, and check out an exclusive Buzzworthy clip of Duffy discussing the inspiration behind the video.

Audrina Patridge isn’t the only one with naked photos floating around. Amy Winehouse also has some skin pix making the inbox rounds, but relax… It’s not like she’s wearing electrical tape on her … Oh. Wait…

But the good thing: the nudity is intentional, and it’s nudity for a good cause — it’s a part of a breast cancer awareness piece in the April issue of British magazine Easy Living.

Also nekkid in the issue: singer Sade and Helena Bonham Carter, and we’ll take naked photos of Amy any day over photos of Helena Bonham Carter, even with her clothes on.

(Credit: Carolyn Djanogly, via Radarmagazine.com)

And in unrelated Amy Winehouse “news,” (as in, not really news at all), check out these photos of Amy — avec clothes — after a few sessions of celebrity hair rehab.

First Lily Allen allegedly gets dropped from her Agent Provocateur gig. Now Amy Winehouse may be negotiating a line of her own apparel and beauty products, including hairspray and perfume. So, not only can you look like an “after” photo from “Faces of Meth,” but you can smell like one too!

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s crack and syrup!

Well, she at least showed up to last night’s 2008 Brit Awards. And at this point, showing up is half the battle. She didn’t walk away with any awards, but she did perform two songs — “Love Is a Losing Game” and “Valerie” — with Mark Ronson, who picked up an award for Best Male Solo Artist (an award second in importance only to the unofficial MTV Buzzworthy Obsession of the Year award), but unfortunately he did not strip on stage to celebrate his win. (Boo!) Instead, he accepted the award by saying “I’ve never felt so British or so male before in my life.”

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