(Credit: Andy Ryan)

Did you see The Hills last night? Holy ship. Is there a better show? I know this is neither the time nor the place, but I'm pretty sure Spencer Pratt is the most interesting person who has ever been alive. No offense, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but homeboy went to therapy and became a different person. A sensitive person who is also a rapper. WHAT THE HELL?

Not only that, but as a barely-recovering Laguna Beach junkie, I am SO psyched for the return of Kristin Cavallari. Did you see her go straight for Justin Bobby?? What I wouldn't give to go to bed tonight and wake up in next year so all of my unanswered Hills questions would be answered already!

But enough about my "problem." Aside from Spencer's emergence from his cocoon of cruelty as a gentle butterfly, last night's big story was Lauren Conrad's departure. What was originally her spin-off, officially entered a new life of its own as she rode away from K-Cav and the Speidi extravaganza alone.

To mark the beginning of a whole new era, Hills producers brought in a whole new voice. They very wisely landed on young buck Tamar Kaprelian, whose fresh and honest single "New Day" has enough emotion in every note to knock the grass off The Hills. Look out, "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield! It's a new day.

In the great tradition of reality TV, I'm gonna let Tamar Kaprelian introduce herself. Here are a couple highlights from her hand-written bio:

I am 22. Songwriting is the most sacred thing in my life. Classic Disney films influenced me as a kid, but my true love of music came about when I discovered Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. In love I fell.

My music chronicles my life, my relationships, my basket-case-ness, and my utter determination and drive to create an album that is real and true to me both personally and artistically.

I hope you enjoy my little musical offerings and songs.

Peace & love.

What a sweetheart, eh? Plays a mean piano, too. Keep an eye out for Tamar Kaprelian and catch her first single "New Day" in The Hills' Season 5 finale, starting tonight!

+ TONS More Brilliant Hills Coverage On Remote Control Blog

(Credit: Miranda Penn Turin)

Heidi Montag's pregnancy was just an April Fool's joke (ha ha?), but her new song, "Look How I'm Doin'," is no laughing matter. (Though others might disagree.)

If you've been following Heidi on Twitter, you know that, when not eating In-N-Out Burger or making out with Spencer at Lakers games, Heidi's been spending ample amounts of time in the studio with the help of Jesus and songwriter Cathy Dennis -- she wrote the American Idol theme song, Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" AND "Touch Me (All Night Long)" which should not be taken lightly!

Listen to the fruits of Heidi's labors, if you will -- it's feels a little like Britney's "Break The Ice," but the ultimate test will be whether it plays Le Deux... actually, make that Don Antonio's.

+ Plus: Don't miss the premiere of The Hills this Monday, April 6 at 10pm ET!

+ Sure, you (and SJP!) admired Michelle Obama's one-shouldered, Swarovski crystal-covered Jason Wu ball gown -- but did you know the bride-like frock was supposed to be a symbol of hope and feminine empowerment? If not, join the club! (MTV News)

+ And since we're on the subject of fashion, let's talk gowns! First topic: Did Jill Biden *borrow* Miley's 'Kids' Inaugural getup? Also: Could someone tell Rihanna that mustard yellow is NOT the new black? Thanxsomuch! (Scandalist)

+ Crybaby alert! Beyonce admits she came thisclose to bawling while serenading President Obama and the First Lady. Thisclose! (MTV News)

+ 'Course, she wasn't the only one. Ordinarily stoic City star Whitney Port admits even she shed a few tears while watching Barack's inauguration. (Remote Control)

+ Presumably while looking at Aretha Franklin's hat ... Yowzahs. (OMG! Yahoo)

+ OK, fine, so we ALL got a little choked up. Even Diddy was giddy! (E! Online)

+ Meanwhile, ABDC judge Shane Sparks took the opportunity to rate the Obamas' dancing: "On technique, I would give them an 8." Sheez, these days everyone's a critic. (MTV News)

+ Not everyone's eyes were glued on the Prez, however. After their duet at the Western Ball, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony spent the evening "gaz[ing] into each other's eyes" and PDA-ing like teenagers. Awww/ewww. (Usmagazine)

+ And after the party comes the afterparty! Celebs like Pete Wentz, Rosario Dawson and Usher kept the good times rollin' past 4am. It's what Obama would've wanted. (MTV News)

+ Courtney Love, who's possibly nuts, reaches a new Embarrassing Mom Milestone by literally begging Twilight star Robert Pattinson to take her 16-year-old daughter Frances Bean out on her "first-ever date." MAHHHHHHHMMMM!!! (OK!)

+ A pissed-off priest gave Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston a "verbal spanking" after catching them "giggling" and "texting" throughout his sermon. (Star)

+ What's black and white and red all over? Pink, after a sunscreen-less day on the beach! Oh, and did we mention she's also rocking some "cheeky" new tattoos? (The Sun - UK)

+ Amy Winehouse's crazy, crawling-on-hands-and-knees pics, explained! "[S]he was just having fun, pretending to be a horse," clarifies Amy's sad, deluded dad, Mitch. (Telegraph - UK)

+ We know, we know, you're already over the whole inauguration thing, but we just realized we left one of the most important deets out of our inaugural highlights reel: MILEY CYRUS AND NICK JONAS WERE SPOTTED HUGGING AFTER THE INAUGURAL YOUTH BALL. That is all. (Popstar! Magazine)

+ Note to Kelly Osbourne: if a gossip reporter calls you -- or your fiance -- stupid, slugging her in the face generally isn't the best way to prove her wrong. Now she's NEVER gonna get you that fancy-pants sugar bowl off your registry! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Hot off the (tabloid) press! Britney Spears is reportedly getting paid $20 million to write her memoirs. Yeah, it's like THAT. (Hollyscoop)

+ Coming up on The City: Jay asks Whitney to "trust" him -- then totally hits on some random club skank! Reason 139 why you should never, ever date an Australian. (Remote Control)

(Credit: Jeremy Cowart)

Ever heard of Safetysuit? We're not sure where the name comes from (or what, exactly, it means) but around here, it's another word for "breakup music." That's cuz the angsty alt-rockers -- who hit harmonies like Last Goodnight and write hooks like Coldplay -- are simultaneously angry, soulful, gentle, passionate and loud. In other words? The perfect backdrop for any sit-down, stand-up, or door-slamming fight.

Which is precisely why the Tulsa, Oklahoma foursome has already seen FOUR songs off their 2008 release, Life Left to Go, show up on The Hills. (Presumably during the ep where LC and her pals sipped champagne at Crown Bar and got into some sort of intense, awkward-pause-filled staredown.)

Start your weekend off right by sampling "Someone Like You" -- Safetysuit's biggest hit to date -- then adding it to your "Wallowing In My Own Self-Pity" playlist for the next time you're feeling sadsies.

Remember that one episode of The Hills where everyone met up a swish hotel bar and did shots? Wait... let me elaborate -- recall, please, The Hills, Season 3, Episode 6 (air date 9/15/2008, for those of you keeping track), when Audrina organized a super-massive party featuring a performance by The White Tie Affair. (And Justin Bobby NEVER SHOWED, natch.) Nowww it's all coming back, right?

Anyway, The White Tie Affair falls under the tutelage of Audrina at Epic Records, and Audrina herself was on hand on the tres L.A. set of their new-new video, "Candle (Sick and Tired)." Also there: superfan Stephanie Pratt, and Good Charlotte's Joel and Benji Madden, who make quick cameos in the new video. Watch it below, and check out an old-school Buzzworthy interview with The White Tie Affair.

+ Rumor has it, Rihanna's been keeping Chris Brown on a tight leash, holding her "friend" to rules like "no girls past midnight" and no unsupervised visits from members of his female entourage. Sheesh, possessive much? (Scandalist)

+ Rapper Lil' Kim's character plays a big part in the Biggie documentary, Notorious. But that didn't stopped the Queen Bee from blasting the film, skipping the premiere, and waging war with Biggie's widow, Faith Evans. (MTV Movies)

+ More praise over Britney Spears' "comeback!" This time, critics credit Brit with looking "toned" and "stunning" for her brother's wedding. Not mentioned: the fact that her plunging neckline stops about two inches above her belly button. (The Sun - UK)

+ Fall Out Boy's still up in arms over the Blender cover story that depicts Pete Wentz as a "paranoid, pill-popping narcissist" and claims Patrick Stump nearly killed himself over a football game. (MTV News)

+ And speaking of Wentzes, Bronx Mowgli can officially sleep easy tonight knowing that there's a celebrity baby out there called Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. (Huffington Post)

+ After 11 years of marriage, three years of separation, and some kiddie porn charges, R. Kelly's marriage to now-ex-wife, Andrea, is officially over. (MTV News)

+ Forget what you heard -- The Hills' Holly Montag will NOT be rushing into a quickie engagement/wedding anytime soon. Unlike some OTHER Montags we know... (Remote Control)

+ It's official: Miley Cyrus admits she still dreams about the Jonas Brothers. (Fashion ie)

+ Wanna win tickets to SXSW? Lucky, for you, Ebony Bones is just GIVING them away! (Newsroom)

+ Watch Taylor Swift rehearse for her appearance on this weekend's SNL! And yes, that's Neil Patrick Harris (a.k.a. Doogie Howser, M.D.) she's standing with. (Just Jared Jr.)

If you've already heard of Tamarama, it's probably because you're either (a) exceedingly familiar with the obscure beach regions of Sydney, Australia and New South Wales, or (b) an avid Hills/City watcher who, like Whitney Port, took one look at long-haired Aussie rocker Jay Lyon and instantly fell in love.

Either way, we've got news for you -- the band's actually worth a listen.

It also doesn't hurt that all four members are gorgeous, Adonis-like creatures who look like models and sound like much sexier versions of Hugh Jackman (post-Wolverine). But close your eyes, for a moment(!), and you'll hear that the guys (who list Paul Simon, Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix among their influences) have managed to inject their folksy, reggae pop with a surprisingly modern edge. The result? A groovy, genre-defying grunge sound that makes you think the guys probsies have a Jack Johnson/ Sublime /Axl Rose Paul McCartney iPod playlist somewhere on their hard drives.

Of course, seeing is believing, so check out their DIY video for "Middle of a Magazine," and let us know if you think the guys have enough talent, drive and staying power to stretch their 15-20 minutes of fame into a lasting musical career! Or at least a solid half hour.

+ Rumor has it Britney Spears has a new man! According to the U.K. tabs, Brit's dating "Womanizer" choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, a comely Indian fellow whom she's already nicknamed "Sandy." (The Mirror - UK)

+ Breaking: Nicole Richie occasionally sends her boyfriend sexy texts! Also, she apparently loves shoes. Jeez, who IS this girl? (ICYDK)

+ Christina Aguilera to maybe, possibly design her own line in the U.K.! Question: Are we 100% sure she's over that whole assless chaps phase? (Refinery29)

+ It's hypothetical New Year's Resolution time! Find out what we think Lauren Conrad & the Hillzies need to work on in '09. (Remote Control)

+ Meanwhile, Britney Spears' (actual) 2009 New Year's Resolution is to stop biting her nails. SAME AS US! Britney, call us! We'll go to an NBA (Nailbiters Anonymous) meeting sometime! Or, you know, just talk. (OK!)

+ Vacay time! Katy Perry rocks the green bikini/weird hat look in the dunes of Mexico while Lily Allen goes topless in Jamaica. (Yeeeah)

+ John Mayer finds a way to ruin Mariah Carey's already-cheesy Christmas classic. (IDLYITW)

+ And in other Mimi-related news, speculation over her maybe-pregnancy runs rampant after her hubby orders himself a lame-o virgin daiquiri. (Scandalist)

+ Kanye West takes to the blogosphere to clear up rumors that he'll be partying it up tonight. His actual New Year's Eve plans? Sit at home and watch some hoops. (Contact Music)

+ It's official: everyone on Britney Spears' Christmas list just got carded. The singer posed by the tree with her bee-yoo-tiful sons, Jayden James and Sean Preston in this adorably festive holiday card. Merry Britmas, y'all! (BritneySpears.com, via Scandalist)

+ Meanwhile, give it up for Jamie Spears! The proud papa has taken such excellent care of his daughter, Brit, that he reportedly just pocketed a $6000/month raise. Recession? What recession?? (Usmagazine.com)

+ Spotted: Leona Lewis inviting Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford to be in her new music video, "I Will Be." OMFGG, right?! (AceShowbiz)

+ Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas are up for the Best Feuds of The Year title, thanks to Phonegate '08. (MTV News)

+ Are Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag back to being BFFs?? Find out what LC and the Hillzies had to say about The Hug Heard 'Round The World. (Remote Control)

+ Meanwhile, Michael Jackson shoots down reports that he's in desperate need of a lung transplant. Reps for the Gloved One say Jacko's in "fine health," thanks for asking. (NY Daily News)

+ All Time Low didn't score that MTV New Year's gig (just) because of their looks. The boys have just been named "Band of the Year" by Alternative Press! Way to go, guys! (Alternative Press)

+ Singer/ actress Jennifer Hudson is ready to step back into the spotlight with a performance at the upcoming Grammy concert. Welcome back, J. Hud -- we've missed you. (MTV News)