Are you ready to receive the full power of "Prism" into your heart?
In case you haven't noticed, we're deep in the midst of a heavily saturated pop diva album cycle the likes of which the world has never seen... at least not since 2011. Of course, Rihanna's probably set to release another record this November, but, like, water's wet. What makes the latter half of 2013 extra special is that every kween imaginable's next effort is either recently out or on its way, like Britney Spears' Britney Jean, Miley Cyrus' Bangerz, Lady Gaga's ARTPOP, Beyoncé's ever-looming TBA phantom disc, and, of course, Katy Perry's Prism.
It's pretty fair to say that Miss Katy won the last pop cycle with her third studio album, Teenage Dream, and its Complete Confection deluxe re-release, at least as far as numbers are concerned. Six No. 1 singles on the Billboard Hot 100, eight top-fives, 5.5 million record sales -- Prism's got a lot of high expectations to meet (if not exceed), and that won't be done by simply adding more canisters of whipped cream into even more weaponized boobs. (Apologies to whipped cream, you the best.)
So, does Prism deliver? I know I'm, like, kind of a big softie. (FTR, I advised a friend against buying someone a bouquet of dyed-blue daisies for his birthday this past weekend, because I wouldn't have been able to stand looking at them trampled on the bar's floor by night's end.) But hopefully, you'll trust me when I say that for the most part on Prism, Katy's a champion and you're gonna hear her roar. Except on "Roar," honestly one of the weaker offerings this go-around. #SorryBoutIt
To review the tracks, which dabble in genres as vast and varied as house, trap, and even Christian pop (more on that in a bit), I turned to the only medium capable of expressing my full range of critical feeling: the cat GIF. C'mon, the new face of COVERGIRL's got her bb kitten, Kitty Purry, and her fan army has dubbed itself the KatyCats! Also, WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CAT GIFS?! See? I'm only doing it because it makes absolute perfect, logical sense. So without further ado, here is Katy Perry's Prism, reviewed track-by-track in cat GIFs.
Like I said before, I'm not the biggest fan of Prism's lead single at this point. Although its motivational "eye of the tiger"-isms were pleasantly invigorating, say, back in August when Katy first released the track, "Roar" is a bit too ubiquitous at this point to really move me.
Honestly, I also think I'm a bit peeved (PEEVED, I SAY) that Katy was all about that "California Gurls" blue wig-burning lyfe during the single's promo period, yet has whipped out, like, elephant onesies and tiger ears every time she's performed "Roar" live since the VMAs. Well, you better believe you're gonna hear me "HARUMPH!" about it.
2.) "LEGENDARY LOVERS"
Whoops, Katy, your
epidermis Pentecostal upbringing is showing! Above a truly global folk instrumental that mixes everything from Indian sitars to Scottish pipes, the preacher's kid who kissed a girl sings: "Take me down to the river/ Underneath the blood orange sun/ Say my name like a scripture/ Keep my heart beating like a drum."
At this point in the album, I'm not sure whether Katy's actually spoon-feeding me stealth Christian pop, or if she's just very comfortable speaking in biblical metaphors. Either way, I'm feeling this, sooooo... whateva.
The third offering on Prism's set list, one of MTV News' "must-listen tracks," is BEYOND fun. And, possibly about John Mayer? Possibly SEXUALLY about John Mayer?? Anyway, "Birthday" is a bubbly disco throwback that'll fit right in with Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," Daft Punk's "Get Lucky," or Miley's "#GETITRIGHT -- basically anything that Pharrell was within 17 feet of this past year. We've gotta take points off for the creepy-as-f*** "Happy birthdayyy" whispered at the end of the song, but still...
Check out the rest of our track-by-track Prism review after the jump.