+ Logo's The Big Gay Sketch Show has given Paula Abdul the proper American Idol send-off montage. (LogoOnline)

+ Lady Gaga nipple slip -- who wants it? And are you sure? (Drunken Stepfather)

+ And only because she's one of our favorite models of our time, here's Linda Evangelista doing W magazine. (Socialite Life)

+ The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch is doing better after surgery to treat his cancer.  Thanks for asking. (Rolling Stone)

+ Hey, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler! Walk this way! No, no! Not THAT way!! (Dude fell off the stage backwards last night at a show in South Dakota, dontcha know). Word on the street is that he sustained minor injuries to his head, neck, and shoulder (translation: lips). Get better, Stevie! (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

+ Ricky Martin has finally stopped shaking his bon bon long enough to join the Twitterverse. AY YI YI! (OHLALA)

+ SO amazing. Lauren Conrad and the rest of her Hills friends have been immortalized in pastels and are hanging in some art gallery in Vancouver. And it's even the really good shot of Lauren with mascara streaming down her face. You know, from that one time when she cried? (Pretty Boring)

It was either the French, the Afghans, Mario Puzo, or the Quentin Tarantino who said "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Were they right? Who knows? Everything I needed to know I learned from pop culture and music videos, which have taught me that when it comes to getting even, nothing beats the ass-kicking, window-smashing, good old-fashioned REVENGE video. (And leaving a horse head in someone's bed.)

Check out 10 classic videos where artists get mad, get even and get revenge by trashing their ex's place, taping themselves in naughty situations (right, Justin Timberlake?), putting the hurt on someone else's credit cards, or howling like a she-wolf in the middle of the desert like your name was Alanis Morissette. (Exactly like that, actually.)

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF REJECTION

Alanis Morissette -- "You Oughta Know"
Nothing says "woman scorned" like the wrath of Alanis Morissette and all. that. hair. Her 1995 video, "You Oughta Know," quickly became a b+tchfest manifesto for the maligned and scorned the world over. Thinking of getting "exploratory" in a movie theater? Um, yeah. Don't. Also, learning corner: Flea and Dave Navarro played on the original recording!
+ Watch "You Oughta Know"

BREAK STUFF!

Carrie Underwood -- "Before He Cheats"
If you cheat on Carrie Underwood, you've got an even bigger problem than the major hike in car insurance you're about to experience once you discover she's beat the LIVING S+++ out of your truck. In her 2006 "Before He Cheats" video, Carrie Underwood not only takes aim with a baseball bat, but she also BLOWS THINGS UP WITH HER MIND, bringing new meaning to "smash hit." Ever see Carrie the movie? Coincidence? I think not.
+ Watch "Before He Cheats"

Lily Allen -- "Smile"
Crafty Lily Allen recruits a band of local thugs and no-goodniks to mug her ex -- played by EastEnders' Elliott Jordan -- wreck his place, smash his records, and stuff his shirts in the toilet in her 2006 video, "Smile." Also he gets mugged and a horbs case of the Hershey squirts after Lily spikes his coffee with Ex-Lax. Smooth moves all around!
+ Watch "Smile"

AYO TECHNOLOGY

Justin Timberlake -- "Cry Me A River"
What happens when you cheat on Justin Timberlake? Nothing creepy or anything. Duder just pulls up to your driveway with Timbaland in the car, sneaks into your house when you leave, films himself banging an INCREDIBLY HOT CHICK, and leaves the evidence rolling and ready for you to watch when you step out of the shower. No big deal. (It's extra creepy if you happen to look like Britney Spears. ALSO: Fun fact -- the girl who plays Britney in the video is Lauren Hastings, who dated Shia LaBeouf. She also claimed that Lindsay Lohan stole an $11,000 coat from her.)
+ Watch "Cry Me A River"

Backstreet Boys -- "The Call"
Now pay attention because the Backstreet Boys' 2002 video for "The Call" may confuse people less intelligent than me. In the "The Call" video, one if not ALL of the BSBs are progressively cheating on their girlfriend/s, who MAY or may not have SET UP the guy/s to cheat on them in the first place. Total BSB sting operation! With a girl who may or may not be a transvestite. (Note: that's speculation on my part, but she kinda does look like a drag queen. Which is FINE if she were a tranners, but it'd take the video in a totally different direction.) Anyway, they're all cheating, or it's symbolic cheating or whatever, and the old-school 2002 cell phone (hence the phone sound effects!) becomes THE VESSEL through which the cheating travels. Symbolic BSB girlfriend however PWONES and sets up the whole operation to completely fail, thus flipping the script and using the cell phone and "the call that changed my destiny" as the vehicles that drive the whole sordid affair into the ground. Technology wins, cheaters lose! (Not-so-fun-fact: In 2003, AJ McLean revealed to Oprah that he first tried cocaine the night the "The Call" video was shot.)
+ Watch "The Call"

MURDER WAS THE CASE

Kanye West -- "Flashing Lights"
Spike Jonze directed Kanye West's 2008 "Flashing Lights" video, which is his most dramatic and definitely his most gruesome to date. While the song and lyrics are haunting, they completely belie the video's drastic measures: Playboy model Rita G shoves Kanye in a car, duct tapes his mouth shut (ahem!), and beats the life out of him with a shovel. All for the leaving the toilet seat up!
+ Watch "Flashing Lights"

+ Ashley Tisdale, Aerosmith, and credit card revenge after the jump!

Read more...

Recently, more's been made of Jessica Simpson's weight and denim cut-off short shorts than the fact that Arizona State University denied President Obama an honorary degree. Vanity Fair writer Rich Cohen even managed to use the word "fat" three times in one paragraph in his recent Jessica Simpson profile! Wow. It took him several more PARAGRAPHS to even get to the word "beautiful," which feels like a bit of an oversight, no?)

Seriously, who CARES how much Jessica Simpson weighs? Sure, she should've fired her stylist over the Mom Jeans incident of January 2009, but the girl was born gorgeous and looks great at any weight. And Jessica Simpson in short-shorts? Even better. Hello? She even PLAYED Daisy Duke. Why? Because girl's got legs for months.

So, while ASU skipped over Obama, we're giving Jessica Simpson Buzzworthy's all-time favorite short-shorter award. And she's also the official inspiration behind some of our all-time favorite short-shorts videos by Katy Perry, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Vanessa Hudgens, Gwen Stefani, Aerosmith and more...

Jessica Simpson -- "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" -- True, The Dukes of Hazzard movie was a total flop (or a box office smash if you're measuring it against the Glitter yardstick!) but Jessica did get in absolutely bananas shape to play Daisy Duke in the movie and its resultant video, which was so overtly sexy (duh -- Brett Ratner directed it) that it ended up banned in several countries. And true, the remake doesn't do the original much justice (I'm fairly confident the Nancy Sinatra version doesn't mention anything about "double Ds"), but sharing a set with Willie Nelson and the General Lee is still worth something, right? (Right?)

Katy Perry -- "Hot 'N' Cold" -- Katy Perry pulled off an impressive feat in her "Hot 'N" Cold" video; she managed to wear short-shorts in just about EVERY scene, including the scene where she tears off her wedding dress to reveal a hidden pair of white short-shorts -- which wind up being the perfect thing to wear while chasing her wayward groom down the street. And walking a zebra, obvs.

Britney Spears -- "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" -- I won't let YOU be the last to know that at NO point in her 2001 "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" beach video, directed by the late Herb Ritts (he also directed Madonna's "Cherish" and Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" videos) does Britney wear pants at ALL. In just a bikini top and a pair of I-can't-believe-they're-not-drawers cut-off shorts, Britney rolls around in the sand with French model Brice Durand. The video resulted in a TRL #1 hit for Britney, as well as what was probably a LOT of sand stuck inside dark, uncomfortable places.

Christina Aguilera -- "Can't Hold Us Down" -- Christina Aguilera rocked an extreme... ly short pair of pink ones in her 2003 video, "Can't Hold Us Down." But what Christina lacked in shorts she made up for with old-school knee-high tube socks. True to the named Stripped -- Christina's 2002 album which featured "Can't Hold Us Down" -- Lil' Kim, who guested on the track and co-stars in the video -- puts Christina's short-shorts to shame when she throws open her robe and reveals little more than a teeny weeny bikini. And a superfluous belt. She's subtle, that Kim!

Beyonce -- "Crazy In Love" -- In her 2003 "Crazy In Love" video, featuring Jay-Z, Beyonce wears a pair of barely there denim short-shorts. And my guess is that her choreographer stuffed the pockets of said shorts with fire ants because Beyonce writhes around on the ground, spazzes out, and almost twerks her way out of those shorts for nearly the entire duration of the time she spends in them. "Crazy In Love" won three 2003 VMAs (the VMAs where Britney and Madonna made out!) by the way -- Best R&B Video, Best Choreography, and Best Female Video.

Keri Hilson -- "Knock You Down" -- Keri Hilson looks like she frequently skips dessert and never skips a workout. Plus, if you've seen her "Energy" video, then you're fully aware that she's a lady boxer. (Plus, she shleps around a CRAPload of nail polish everywhere she goes.) Therefore her short-shorts are practically a necessity.

Vanessa Hudgens -- "Sneakernight" -- Which did you notice first in Vanessa Hudgens' "Sneakernight" video? Vanessa's light-up sneakers, or her micro-mini super-duper short-shorts? Or the fact that "Sneakernight" sounds exactly like Nikka Costa's "Like A Feather"?

++ Check out more celebs in short-shorts and classic short-shorts videos after the jump!

Read more...

Here, read this Gchat I had with my buddy in L.A. the other day:

Buddy: Hey- I saw this band last night called HAIM. They are unsigned and AMAZING. Three sisters ages 16, 19 and 21.

Me: :-/ ... like Corey Haim?

Buddy: No! Pronounced like "Hi-Eem." These girls are unbelievable. They have these amazing deep voices. And they're totally hot but they rock out with super ugly faces! And, I mean, one is 16! So good!

Obviously my curiosity was piqued, right? I mean, wouldn't yours be? So I dig the gals up on MySpace and listen to a couple tracks... And yeah, I can hear the rock twisting their baby faces. They've got so much attitude! You can practically see their necks doing that "Nuh uh,  girl" side to side thing when you listen. As for the actual music, they sound kinda like... Fiona Apple and Alanis Morissette joined 4 Non Blondes or Hole? Is that too obscure? Like Brandi Carlile (I effing LOVE her! -- Tamar) became a really big fan of P!nk and Aerosmith! Does that make sense? Hey, how about you just take a listen to HAIM on your own and let me know what you think?! Cool?

+ Taylor Swift isn't the only one who's ready to move on. Joe Jonas is reportedly dating actress (and Lovebug co-star) Camilla Belle. A source tells Usmagazine.com that the two "share a lot of the same characteristics and morals." Well, obvs! Just look at those his-and-hers eyebrows! (MTV News)

+ Kanye West's new album, 808s & Heartbreak, shows off a darker, more aggressive side of 'Ye. Speaking of which, Mr. West has a message for all you haters out there: "Respectfully, f--- you." (The Hip Hop Chronicle)

+ Meanwhile, the reviews are in on Idol runner-up David Archuleta's self-titled debut album. So what's the verdict? "It leaves you asking yourself why this guy didn’t win." (Neon Limelight)

+ Beyonce's decided she'd like to take on the role of Wonder Woman on the big screen! And she's already got big plans for her character's accessories. "It sure would be handy to have that lasso," says B/ Sasha Fierce. "To make everybody tell the truth? I need that. It would come in very handy." (LA Times Blog)

+ Is Christina Aguilera trying to revive her legendary feud with Mariah Carey? Because if she is, it's TOTALLY working! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Ludacris says he loves collaborating with his pals because it's "competition at its finest." Say that again? "It's kinda like when you play basketball and you're friends with people on the other team," Luda explains. "You shake hands with people afterward, but it's war." (MTV News)

+ And in non-breaking news, Ol' Dirty Bastard was... kinda unhinged! Here's a look back at some of the crazy crap ODB pulled back in the day. (Scandalist)

+ Good news Tokio Hotel fans! TH is reportedly teaming up with legendary songwriter Diane Warren -- who's written MONSTER hits for the likes of the Pussycat Dolls, Joss Stone and Mariah! Maybe there's hope for that Tokio-Aerosmith collabo after all. (Tokio Hotel America)

Still no title or release date for Tokio Hotel's next album (oh, lunchtime poll -- which are you more excited for -- the Twilight movie, or the new Tokio Hotel album? Seriously, it's a hard and probably unfair question), but Bill did promise MTV News that the follow-up to Scream will be a new side of and sound from the band.

Watch the video below, find out more about TH's new album, and watch all four of Buzzworthy's Halloween interviews with Tokio Hotel! Oh yeah, and a Tokio Hotel-Aerosmith collabo would be such epic kino that I can't even deal right now. "Walk This Way" and "Love In An Elevator" rule as hard as "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" sucks!

+ Tokio Hotel are actually worried about what YOU think of THEM. Says guitarist Tom Kaulitz, "Our vocabulary is just school English, so we have no slang, no cool words." Um, trust us, guys -- if anyone here should be giving lessons on how to be cool, it's not gonna be us. (MTV)

+ Are Britney Spears and Kevin Federline eying a reconciliation?? According to the British tabs, the two are trying to work through their issues in couples counseling. We'll believe it when we see it. (Daily Mail - UK)

+ Aerosmith's Steven Tyler sues Internet impersonators for talking about his mama. (Rolling Stone)

+ Kanye West is in such a hurry to hit you with his new album, 808s and Heartbreak, that he's bumped up the release date to "November something." Thanksgiving stocking stuffer, anyone? (MTV)

+ Limp Bizkit to reunite and recreate their unique blend of music, yelling and severe anger management issues. (Metal Hammer - UK)

+ There are plenty of people in this world who would looooove to follow the Jonas Brothers around -- like, for instance, us! But according to Lisa Origliasso of The Veronicas, it does occasionally have it's drawbacks. For instance? "I often have nightmares about 12-year-old screaming girls." Yeah, but SO WORTH IT!! (PopEater)

+ American Idol's Simon Cowell reacts to Clay Aiken's startling admission (basically with a "ZZZZzzzz"). (MTV)

The news is true. After 10 long, strong years of deafening screaming, live performances, walk-ons, and music videos (VIDEOS!) and celebrities that went on to become pop culture phenomenons (and a few who didn't), the bright lights of TRL -- lights that once lit up the careers of Britney Spears (she appeared on the show 21 times), Mariah Carey (if you don't remember when she busted onto the show in 2001 and stripped, then refresh your memory with the video below), *NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Nelly, Diddy, Eminem, Backstreet Boys, Pink, and thousands of other genre-spanning artists who took the stage between 1998 and 2008 -- will go dark. Worst.

The show, originally hosted by Carson Daly, currently co-hosted by Damien Fahey and Lyndsey Rodrigues, will end in November 2008 after a final farewell show and lots of tears.

And not that anything could ever take the place of TRL, and true, maybe we should wait for the blood to dry, but here's some good news to complement the sad stuff -- due to popular demand, FNMTV will be returning to your otherwise crappy Friday nights starting this November. BRAND-new videos! Played in their entirety! The way God intended! And celebrities! Live performances! LOLs! Arguing! More screaming!

Pour some milk out for your favorite fallen show and raise a glass of Quik to the second coming of FNMTV. And below, see who was on the very first TRL countdown ever on September 14, 1998. Plus, check out thousands of TRL photos (including snaps from the iconic backstage photo booth) then close your eyes and let the sentimental sounds of Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men, and Diddy (Puffy, hold me down, baby!) help you pay your respects to a decade of MTV's Total Request Live.

TRL 09/14/98
1. Backstreet Boys - I'll Never Break Your Heart
2. NSYNC - Tearin' Up My Heart
3. Aaliyah featuring Timbaland - Are You That Somebody?
4. Aerosmith - I Don't Want to Miss A Thing
5. Will Smith - Just the Two of Us
6. Marilyn Manson - The Dope Show
7. Usher- My Way
8. The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
9. Monica - The First Night
10. Monster Magnet - Space Lord

+ Miley Cyrus, Daniel Radcliffe, the Jonas Brothers and Zac Efron are officially the world's Most Powerful Tween Stars. Crazy! Especially considering Daniel Radcliffe is actually a 19-year-old man. (Forbes)

+ For the last time, people, M.I.A. is a ghetto superstar, not a terrorist. (E! Online)

+ Young Jeezy's new album, The Recession, doesn't drop until September 2, but here's a sample from the title track. "Wish I had me some money/ I'd buy me some better luck," raps Jeezy. Uh, really? We'd go out and buy ourselves a car but hey, that's just us. (MTV)

+ Now that Lil Wayne is finished suing his old label, he's ready to sign with a new one. (XXL Mag)

+ Meanwhile, Weezer has announced they'll be going on tour with Tokyo Police Club and Angels and Airwaves. (Rolling Stone)

+ Aerosmith's Steven Tyler to write his autobiography for HarperCollins. (Crain's New York Business)

+ Nick Jonas will neither confirm nor deny dating Selena Gomez, even though they both coincidentally have the SAME EXACT FIRST KISS STORY. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Amy Winehouse warned by court officials to stop flirting with her hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil. Yes, seriously. (Hollywood Rag)

+ Kurt Cobain's ashes, which Courtney Love allegedly kept in a pink teddybear-shaped bag (must... resist... "Heart Shaped Box" joke... so inappropriate but... so... hard...), have gone missing. (Current)

+ Metallica will get an eponymous version of "Guitar Hero" in 2009. Take that, Aerosmith! (Multiplayer)

+ Watch promo clips of Pete Wentz's upcoming new show, F N MTV, where the Fall Out Boy talks music, conducts hard-hitting interviews...and, um, chats with Spencer from The Hills. (MTV)

+ Wanna get dirty? Here's a step-by-step guide to dancing like Christina Aguilera. (Cityrag)

+ Meanwhile, John Mayer gets ticketed for driving without front or rear license plates. Which is typically frowned upon by the LAPD. (TMZ)

+ As anyone who watched the American Idol finale already knows, the episode did not, in any way, feature Michael Jackson. Reportedly, the King of Pop was originally slated to perform but then buckled under the pressure of doing a live, nationally-televised comeback. (Stuff)