+ Sad panther Lily Allen says celebrity has gotten in the way of her everyday life. "There are some things I just can't do any more," she laments. "Like when I've had sex, I can't go to the sexual health clinic... I can't go to a shop to get condoms." At least she's keepin' it clean! (The Mirror - UK)

+ Semi-related side note: the clinically-deprived Allen recently propositioned Simon Cowell via "accidental" text message. (Simon, please see above.) (Scandalist)

+ Hayden Panettiere is reportedly stepping out on boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia with singer Jesse McCartney. Anyone else thinking improvement? (Radar)

+ Zac Efron plays a 40-year-old trapped in a teenager's body for his new flick, 17 Again. So how'd he get into character? "I tried to do a few things that I learned from my dad — things that he thinks are cool but are really dorky." Way to make your old man proud, dude. (MTV News)

+ Da Ringmasters get bounced from ABDC land for being overly circus freaky. (Remote Control)

+ Watch out, Amy Winehouse -- looks like Blake Fielder-Civil's stepping up his divorce game. So far, the ordinarily degenerate druggie has already hired a "top lawyer," compiled "a file of Amy's errors" and contacted "the men Amy’s meant to have slept with." (Perez Hilton)

+ John Mayer admits that he and girlfriend Jennifer Aniston occasionally have "sleepovers" and says her crazy/high-tech pad is like something out of Inspector Gadget. (Usmagazine.com)

+ T-minus two days til T.I. rocks the Grammy stage with Jay-Z, Kanye West and Lil Wayne. Lookin' forward to (finally!) seeing that "Swagga," Tip! (MTV News)

+ Josh Duhamel liked it AND he put a ring on it: he and Fergie got hitched! All the Black Eyed Peas-ers were there along with Kid Rock and a whole mess of other stars at a private ceremony in Malibu on Saturday night. (MTV News)

+ One door opens and another one slams shut: looks like Amy Winehouse is (finally?) getting a divorce from her jailbird hubby Blake Fielder-Civil. Sidenote: you can file for a divorce in England on a Sunday?! Rad! (Perez Hilton)

+ I spy with my little eye, Britney Spears and her little boyz. Rumor has it that Britney's asked her little Sean Preston and Jayden James to spy on their daddy K-Fed... and... uhm, his new lady friend, Victoria Prince. *Awkward.* (Showbiz Spy)

+ Taylor Swift rocked SNL this weekend and went home with a standing ovation. (Just Jared Jr.)

+ Watch yourself around poultry, kids! Miley Cyrus cut her uvula on a piece of chicken! Ouchies! (Just Jared Jr.)

+ Speaking of Miley, you should also know that her milkshakes bring all the boyz to the yard. (Perez Hilton).

+ Kelly Clarkson revealed the cover of her new album, All I Ever Wanted, and she's not afraid to confess that Photoshop is her friend. (Idolator)

+ Tokio Hotel's drummer, Gustav Schafer had a bad tummy ache... which turned out to be appendicitis! So, he had a quick operation last week, and now everything is OKsies. Phew! (Tokio Hotel Zimmer)

+ Bono apparently still hasn't found what he's looking for, so he's decided to take journalism for a spin. His first op-ed for The New York Times was published this weekend. (Gawker)

+ Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson deny whispers that they're having trouble unloading Bronx Mowgli Wentz's baby pics. Also? Shame on you! These are precious memories, people -- they're totally not for sale ... at least, not yet. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Meanwhile, Demi Lovato's peeps are denying nasty internet rumors that the wholesome Camp Rock star is also a "cutter." (MTV News)

+ Miley Cyrus got her mom's old Porsche as a belated bday present?? Best. Hand-me-down. Ever. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Holy celebrity cameo! Was that Miss Aubrey O'Day poppin' by 50 Cent's new show last nite? (Remote Control)

+ Here are five of your fave Britney Spears videos for no reason whatsoever. Happy Friday! (Scandalist)

+ Travis Barker's not only back on his feet, but he's already back to business! Hear what the drummer had to say about his "Jockin' Jay-Z" remix. (MTV News)

+ Amy Winehouse's drug dealer is officially off the streets -- and behind bars. Hey, just like Amy's husband, Blake! (E! Online)

+ John Mayer on Jennifer Aniston's stripped-down GQ cover: "When I touch it, angels die." (Hollyscoop)

+ SNL hottie Andy Samberg is teaming back up with Justin "D--k In a Box" Timberlake for his new comedy album, Incredibad. (MTV News, via AceShowbiz)

+ Ever dream about getting culinary pointers from Sonic Youth? (Wait, you actually have?? Weird!) Anyhow, your wish has officially been granted. Freak. (The Trip Wire)

+ "It's definitely true that we're totally gay." -- Panic At the Disco's Spencer Smith (Out.com)

+ Kevin Federline sez he was, like, totally shocked when Britney filed for divorce. "I was trying to work stuff out with her," claims K-Fed, who swears he was "completely blindsided." Still, Kev insists he's got nothin' but love for his ex. "That's the mother of my children. Just because I'm not in love with her doesn't mean that I don't love her. I'm [still] rooting for her." (MTV News)

+ Hey, ya know who else is rooting for Britney? EVERYONE. Spears' "Don't call it a comeback" tour continued last night with a circus-themed birthday celebration in NYC, where Britney was joined by celeb pals Lance Bass, Ciara, Heidi Klum, Jeremy Piven and, of course, her moms. (MTV News)

+ Omigod, you guys! Did you know Rihanna almost didn't record her smash hit, "Umbrella?" Thankfully, she did! And now you get to think about it EVERY SINGLE TIME it's the teensiest bit overcast outside. Yay! (ContactMusic)

+ You know financial times are tough when even rapper/megamillionaire 50 Cent is feelin' the burn. (Remote Control)

+ And speaking of cost-cutting, these days, not even Diddy can afford to keep sampling other peeps' music. The horror! (Spin)

+ Jessica Simpson attributes her (relatively) newfound interest in religion to a three-part series the Discovery Channel did on The Da Vinci Code. Hey, whatever works. (Scandalist)

+ Amy Winehouse's hubby Blake Fielder-Civil is back behind bars after skipping out of rehab and testing positive for drugs. (I KNOW!) (Usmagazine.com)

+ Actress Evan Rachel Wood is totally not sorry she dated Marilyn Manson. Instead, she says she's "always going to love and respect him. " Awww/eww! Oh, and FYI, she's single and doing "as best as can be expected." (Usmagazine.com)

+ Britney Spears' beh beh boy Jayden James was hospitalized over the weekend! Apparently, JJ "had a reaction to something he ingested" but Brit's folks says he'll most likely be sleeping in his own bed again by tomorrow.  (Britney Spears' website, via MTV News)

+ Taylor Swift is officially done talking about Joe Jonas. "He’s not in my life anymore, and I have absolutely nothing to say about or to him." (NY Times)

+ Meanwhile, Taylor's got bigger problems. Like the fact that she can't even go to Victoria's Secret without getting swarmed by paparazzi. (NY Post)

+ Are Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil headed for divorce court? We don't have a Magic 8-Ball or anything, but our sources say yes. (Scandalist)

+ Although Courtney Love sez she's a big fan of gay nuptials, she accidentally voted "Yes" to Prop 8, an amendment banning same sex marriage. Oopsies! (Defamer)

+ Mariah Carey admits she and Nick Cannon waited until getting hitched before getting horizontal. Insert [Hey, that explains the whirlwind engagement!] joke *here.* (Dlisted)

+ Justin Timberlake conquers his fear of remixes and teams up with T-Pain for a hot new verse in "Can't Believe It." (MTV News)

+ Barack Obama is officially our new prez! And it's all thanks to Diddy. "I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office," the rapper/producer/Danity Kane breaker-upper said. "It was down to one vote and that was going to be my vote." (Remote Control)

+ So what was Kanye's reaction to the historic election results? The rapper/blogger "post[ed] an image of the senator under the headline 'Hi Mom, Obama Won!'" (MTV News)

+ Meanwhile, Pete Wentz had some understated praise for the vice-president elect. "If it weren’t for Joe Biden," said the Fall Out Boy, "I would not exist as a human being." (BBC)

+ And speaking of FOB ... who wants to be their new opening act?? (Friends or Enemies)

+ In international news, Amy Winehouse's hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil, is finally outta jail! Winehouse responded to the news of Blake's un-incarceration by swatting at paparazzi while wearing a crazy turban thingy. Again. (Scandalist)

+ Get ready for Turkey Day! Who needs football when Miley Cyrus, David Archuleta and The Cheetah Girls are all scheduled to perform at the 82nd Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? (Hollywood Insider)

+ No more apologies, canceled shows or ticket refunds -- Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour is officially dunzo. (Perez Hilton)

+ Miley Cyrus is still refusing to confirm that she and 20-year-old Justin Gaston are more than friends. That said, she's not afraid to (a) admit he's a total hottie, (b) coyly point out that "everything is, like, really good," and (c) cut herself off by saying: "I'm totally gushing right now!" (Gossip Girls)

+ Rumor has it exes Mandy Moore and DJ AM are getting back together! Good thing, too, since they've apparently been PDAing all over town. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Zac Efron can't wait to strap on his dancing shoes and reprise Kevin Bacon's role as rebellious two-stepper Ren McCormack in the upcoming Footlose remake. Also, he's keeping his fingers crossed for that ahoy matey role in Pirates 4. (MTV News)

+ Is Jennifer Aniston forcing John Mayer to choose between his Friend-with-benefits and his blog? (OK!)

+ Amy Winehouse once compared her incarcerated hubby Blake Fielder-Civil to heroic South African civil rights leader Nelson Mandela. Yes, really. (NME)

+ Former Danity Kane-er Aubrey O'Day responds to Donnie Klang's below-the-belt yo mama dis. (Remote Control)

+ Today's the 10-year anniversary of Brit's hit "Baby One More Time." So by all means, grab your naughty Catholic schoolgirl outfit and relive the magic! (Britney Spears' site)